What is Right and What is Easy
by kmccartneyyyy
Summary: Darcy Potter returns to Hogwarts again, not for Snape, but for Slughorn. As she and Harry realize that it needs to be them to defeat Voldemort, she must choose between the two most important things in her life: her love and happiness or her brother.
1. Horace Slughorn

**Hi, all! So here's my new story. It's going to be mainly based on the movie, but the plot is going to be more focused around Darcy and Lupin in this story. After this, only one more story for Darcy and that's it. Enjoy!**

**HORACE SLUGHORN.**

"See here," Harry said, putting the _Daily Prophet_ on the table and turning it so I could read it. "Malfoy's in Azkaban."

I looked over the picture of Lucius Malfoy and sneered. My blood boiled with hatred and my eyes flicked over a picture of Draco Malfoy and his mother, Narcissa. I looked away, sipping at my hot chocolate again. "Good," I said after a small silence. Harry looked up at me over the paper. "Hopefully he'll be in there for the rest of his life."

"He's not as dangerous as the others, though," Harry replied, flipping the page of the newspaper. "Bellatrix?"

I swallowed the basketball sized lump in my throat. Talking about Sirius or his death – or in this case, who caused his death – made me choke up and want to cry. "You're right," I said hoarsely, drinking another sip.

"Have you thought about seeing Lupin again?" Harry asked and I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I have," I lied. I had sent him a letter at the beginning of the summer, but when his reply reached our home, Vernon caught my owl before I could and ripped the letter, throwing it in the fire. I hadn't talked to Lupin since.

"You think he'll be back at Hogwarts?"

"I think so." I hesitated, tracing the lip of the cup I was holding with my index finger. "Dumbledore would ask him, wouldn't he?"

"I suppose."

"Don't lie," I frowned. "You think he won't be at Hogwarts this year, right?"

"He could be…" Harry looked away, back at his paper. "He could be, but it's not very likely, is it? I mean, be realistic."

"I _am_ being realistic," I snapped. "I _do_ think he'll be back this year."

"Do you think Dumbledore will bring Tonks back, too?"

"What does it matter?" I asked, swallowing loudly. "We're friends. I've got nothing to worry about."

"I never said you had anything to worry about in the first place," Harry protested. "I just thought – I just think that maybe dealing with Voldemort and all the Death Eaters would be more important than having a boyfriend."

It broke my heart when Harry said that. All along, I thought that Harry had approved of our relationship, but then I began thinking that maybe he only put up with it because it made me happy. "What do you think of me and Lupin?" I whispered, sighing. "Are you really okay with us?"

"Yeah," Harry said after a few seconds. "I'm okay with it."

"You know you come first before anybody, right?" I said and my voice was beginning to grow a bit louder. "I'm always doing what I can to protect you and you know that!"

"Yeah, but in the end, it's Lupin you're worried about. It's always been him."

"That's not true," I argued, leaning back in my seat. "You know it's not true. I'm constantly worried about you."

"Just let it go, okay? I don't mind it. I don't mind at all." He looked at me and breathed in. "He makes you happy – why would I mind? In times like these, we all deserve a little happiness."

As a light suddenly went out in the subway, I stood up and looked around. I stepped towards the window. "Harry…"

Harry closed the paper and stood up with me. A train sped by, rattling the windows and I left the rest of the Muggle money I had on the table. Harry followed me outside and as the train blew past us, my eyes widened.

Standing before the both of us, a tall man with a long, silvery beard stood staring at a billboard. His faded purple robes hung loosely and he turned to see us staring, a little confused. "Ah," he said, smiling sweetly. "Thought I'd find you two here."

"Sir –" I began, but he cut me off.

"I'm here to take you to the Burrow for the rest of the summer," Dumbledore informed us both and Harry and I shrugged at each other. "And then, Darcy, I would like you to accompany me to an old colleague's home. I insist you come – I think you could help me."

"Yes, sir," I said quietly.

"What about our stuff?" Harry said suddenly and I looked at Dumbledore.

"Don't worry," he said. "It's already at the Burrow waiting for you. Now, hold onto my arm, if you will."

He held out his arm and both Harry and I grabbed onto it. Suddenly, everything went black. I had Apparated before, but I still hadn't gotten used to the awful feeling. My throat went dry and I felt as if I was choking. My face was being pushed farther into my head and all of a sudden, we were in front of the Burrow.

Dumbledore pushed Harry towards the tall, thin, lit up house. I gripped Dumbledore's arm tightly again and after the same, uncomfortable sensation, we found ourselves in the middle of a pitch dark neighborhood, surrounded by a church, an inn, and lots of similar looking houses. I let go of Dumbledore and followed him down the street.

"Er – professor?" I asked and he hummed cheerfully. "Will I be returning to Hogwarts this year? With Professor Snape?"

"You will be returning, yes," Dumbledore answered, leading me up a rickety staircase to a front door.

"And why couldn't we Apparate right _into_ your colleague's house, sir?"

"Because it would be as rude as kicking down the door," he told me. "Courtesy dictates that we offer fellow wizards the opportunity of denying us entry. In any case, most Wizarding dwellings are magically protected from unwanted Apparators. At Hogwarts, for instance –"

"You can't Apparate anywhere inside the school grounds," I finished for him.

"Correct, Miss Potter."

I heard a clock chime somewhere and jumped. It was midnight.

"Oh dear…"

I felt my heart sink. The front door was hanging off its hinges. Dumbledore told me firmly to take my wand out and I did quickly, lighting it and holding it in front of me. With our wands the only source of light, Dumbledore pushed open the door and walked directly into a sitting room.

A grandfather clock was on the ground, the glass all over the floor; a piano lay on its side, keys strewn everywhere; the large, gold chandelier was on the ground, shattered and completely broken; cushions were everywhere, feathers littering the floor. Dumbledore raised his wand to the walls and I gasped. There was something red splattered all over the wallpaper. "Not pretty, is it?" he said quietly. "Yes, something horrible has happened here."

"They haven't… taken him, have they?" I whispered. "I mean, there was no Dark Mark above the house."

"No, I don't think so. You're quite right about that last part," Dumbledore nodded. He stepped carefully towards a large, armchair that was lying on its side.

"You mean he's still here somewhere?" I asked.

Dumbledore froze and smirked, and then he turned quickly and prodded the armchair with the tip of his wand, which then yelled, "Ouch!" I jumped backwards and pointed my wand at the armchair.

"Evening, Horace," said Dumbledore.

I gasped and my jaw dropped. The armchair suddenly began to transform into a short, plump, balding man who was massaging his stomach where Dumbledore had just poked him. "No need to stick the wand in that hard," he growled. "That hurt." He got to his feet and I just stared at him. "What gave it away?"

"Like my good friend Miss Potter said, there would have been a Dark Mark set over the house if Death Eaters had really come."

"The Dark Mark," the man muttered. "Knew I was missing – wait, what did you say? You said Miss Potter?"

"Before any formal introductions," Dumbledore said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Perhaps you'd like assistance cleaning up, Horace?"

"Please," said the man called 'Horace'.

They both waved their wands in circular motions and the furniture flew back to their original potions. Torn books repaired themselves and put themselves back on the shelves. Lights lit up the room and the giant chandelier put itself back together and hung itself up on the ceiling. I put my wand back in my pocket and crossed my arms, looking around.

"What kind of blood was that, incidentally?" Dumbledore asked.

"On the walls? Dragon," Horace said. "Yes, dragon. My last bottle and prices are sky high at the moment. Still, it may be reusable…" Horace's eyes flicked to me and his eyes widened. They gave me a sad look and then he smiled. "Oho! _Oho_! This is her – now I see it in the light…"

"_This_," said Dumbledore, pushing me in front of him towards Horace. "Is Darcy Potter. Darcy, this is an old friend of mine, Horace Slughorn."

Slughorn shook my hand and then frowned at Dumbledore. "So this is how you persuade me, is it?" he asked angrily. "Well, the answer's no, Albus."

"I suppose you've heard of her, then?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and he held his hands in front of him. I gasped quietly as I saw that his one hand looked burnt to a crisp and black. "She's a very talented young witch and great at potions. Even Severus has put in a few good words about her."

Slughorn hummed and looked me over. "Just like your mother, yes?"

"Yes, sir," I said quietly.

"Horace," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "You don't mind if I use the loo, do you?"

"Oh," Slughorn shook his head. "Second on the left down the hall."

Dumbledore smiled and walked into the hallway, following Slughorn's directions and left me and the man alone. I looked at my feet and avoided eye contact with him.

"Don't think I don't know why he's brought you," he told me abruptly. "I heard all about your internship last year. Although the Ministry wasn't very fond of you, Dumbledore told me you were a great addition and you were loved by all."

I was silent. I stared up at him.

"You look just like your mother."

"I know."

"Hmpf," he said. "You shouldn't have favorites as a teacher, but she was one of mine. Lily Evans. Charming girl and always gave me cheeky answers. I used to tell her she ought to have been in my house."

"Which was your House?" I asked.

"Slytherin," he replied proudly. He saw the look on my face and continued. "Oh, now don't go holding that against me! You were Gryffindor, too, I expect? It usually goes in families. Not always, though. Ever heard of Sirius Black? You must have done – been in the papers last couple of years – died a few weeks ago…"

My stomach churned and I kept my eye contact with Slughorn. He glanced about the room and then back at me. "I heard," I said quietly.

Slughorn frowned and pointed towards a large dresser, where photographs sat. He walked over and motioned for me to follow. "Your mother," he said, pointing to her. It was a picture of he and her. I felt my heart race. "You're a spitting image of her, you know… Anyway, when I found out she was Muggle-born, I couldn't believe it! She was just too good – I thought she was a pureblood."

"My friend is Muggle-born," I said tensely. "She's the best in her year."

"Funny how that happens sometimes, isn't it?" he asked.

"Not really," I replied coldly.

"Please don't think me prejudiced!" he added quickly. "I've told you she was one of my favorites, yes? I knew lots of them who were very talented…" He pointed to several photographs. There was one of a man named Dirk Cresswell, Head of the Goblin Liaison Office; Barnabas Cuffe from the _Daily Prophet_ – I sneered a bit; I was still bitter about that paper; Gwenog Jones from the Holyhead Harpies.

As he was talking, it suddenly occurred to me – "Sir, do these people know where to find you?" I asked Slughorn and he frowned again, looking at me. "To send you this stuff?"

"I've been out of touch with everyone for a year," he said. "Anyway, Dumbledore wants me to come back to Hogwarts, but that would mean declaring my allegiance to the Order and yes, they're very brave and admirable, but I do not fancy the mortality rate –"

"You don't have to be in the Order to teach at Hogwarts," I said before he could finish. "But one would be safer at Hogwarts. I mean, Dumbledore is the only wizard that Voldemort's afraid of."

Slughorn shuddered. Dumbledore suddenly entered the room, smiling and holding up Muggle knitting magazines. "Thank you for waiting, Darcy, but I do think we have trespassed upon Horace's hospitality long enough. I think it is time for us to leave."

I nodded eagerly.

"You're leaving?" Slughorn said, looking from me to Dumbledore.

"Yes, indeed. I think I know a lost cause when I see one. It's just a little upsetting that Darcy won't be able to return to Hogwarts this year," Dumbledore replied and he winked at me while Slughorn wasn't looking. "Terribly sorry you won't be coming to take the job, Horace, but you're always welcome to visit…"

"Yes, well… very gracious…"

"Goodbye, Horace."

"Bye," I muttered.

We had only reached the front door when we hear Slughorn shout from behind us. "All right, all right, I'll do it!"

Dumbledore turned with a small smile to see Slughorn in the doorway to the sitting room. "You'll come out of retirement?"

"Yes, yes," Slughorn sighed. "I must be mad, but yes."

"Wonderful," Dumbledore grinned. "Then, Horace, we shall be expecting you on the first of September."

"Yes, I daresay you will," grunted Slughorn. As we walked down the broken staircase to the sidewalk, Slughorn's voice floated after us. "I'll want a pay rise, Dumbledore!"

As soon as Slughorn was out of earshot, Dumbledore held out his arm for me to take, but I lowered my eyebrows. "Professor, I thought I was to be returning to Hogwarts for Snape?"

"_Professor _Snape, Darcy," he replied. "And there's been a change of plan."

"He hasn't been sacked, has he?"

"Oh no," Dumbledore chuckled. "He's the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"What?"

"I think he'll do an excellent job at teaching it."

"Couldn't you find another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

"I don't think anyone wanted the job after what happened to Professor Umbridge," he told me. "No one was keen on being threatened by centaurs."

"Oh."

"Why? Don't you like Horace?"

"I – I suppose he's all right." I didn't like him at all. I thought he was quite offensive and the way he gathered up all the famous, talented witches and wizards was a little weird. I knew what Dumbledore had brought me.

"I understand," Dumbledore smiled. "He doesn't think before speaking… I do know what you mean, Miss Potter. I brought you here tonight because he did like your mother and you are a talented witch. He'll want to collect you and I'm sure he's ecstatic that a Potter will be his intern. Now, if you'll just take my arm, I'll bring you back to the Burrow. You're getting much too skinny. Molly will want to feed you before you reach the kitchen. Well, here we go -"

I grabbed his arm and felt all the air being pushed out my body as we Apparated to the Burrow.


	2. Reunited

**Terribly sorry for the long break. I just got my wisdom teeth out Monday – hopefully I won't have to go back to the doctors for a long time! Here you go, the second chapter of my new story. (:**

**REUNITED.**

"Who's there?" asked a nervous voice on the other side of the door. I looked at Dumbledore, knowing it was Mrs. Weasley. "Declare yourself!"

"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Darcy."

The door opened at once and Mrs. Weasley flung herself at me, hugging me tightly and kissing both my cheeks. "Darcy, dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright! You said not to expect Harry and Darcy until morning and – goodness!"

"We were lucky," Dumbledore smiled. "Slughorn proved to be much more persuadable than I assumed. Well, I must be on my way. I shall see you soon, Darcy."

I looked back at Mrs. Weasley. As soon as Dumbledore Disapparated, she took my hand and led me inside. There was no one up – it seemed to be just her awake and the smell of onion soup filled my nostrils. My stomach growled loudly and Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Would you like some soup, Darcy?" she asked and I nodded. "Your brother ate lots. You two are getting two skinny – don't the Muggles feed you, dear?"

"Not really," I admitted gravely.

"I'll get you a nice big bowl of soup, alright?"

I jumped as something rubbed against my leg and a big, fluffy, ginger cat jumped up onto my lap. I stroked his head and it jumped away. "Hermione's here, too?"

"Yes. She arrived the day before yesterday," Mrs. Weasley said. "Everyone's already in bed, of course, we didn't expect you for _hours_. Here you go, dear."

She gave me a big, steaming bowl of onion soup and bread to go with it. I stuffed my mouth and Mrs. Weasley sat beside me in a chair. I thanked her graciously. "Who else is here?"

"Oh, just Hermione and your brother," she replied. "Tomorrow night I'm making a big dinner. Remus is coming."

I nearly choked, hiding a smile. "Remus is?"

Mrs. Weasley straightened up in her chair and I could tell she was about to lecture me. I returned to ladling soup in my mouth, burning my tongue in the process. "Darcy… I like Remus, I really do, but don't you think – don't you think he's too old?"

"Mrs. Weasley, no offense, really, but I'm not a child anymore," I said quietly. "Besides, I'm twenty one!"

"You are still a child to me, Darcy," she said boldly and I smirked. "And he's thirty-six for Merlin's sake! I can take your – your _relationship_ to a certain extent, but – oh, it doesn't matter. So you persuaded Slughorn to take the job?"

I nodded, my mouth so full of hot soup that I couldn't answer.

"He taught Arthur and me," she said, staring at a wall. "He was at Hogwarts for ages… started the same time as Dumbledore, I think. Did you like him?" I shrugged. "I know exactly what you mean. He always picks out favorites – those big shot, smart people who go somewhere in life, you know?"

I nodded and yawned, stretching my arms. Mrs. Weasley took away my onion soup before I could finish and threw it in the sink.

"Bed," she said immediately and my eyes widened. It surprised me at how Mrs. Weasley treated me like a child, even though I wasn't. "I have Fred and George's room all ready for you. Harry's already up there."

"What? Where are they?"

"Diagon Alley, of course!" Mrs. Weasley beamed, leading me towards the stairs. "They've opened up their joke shop. I don't approve much of it and I still have no idea where they got the money, but they're doing a great job! They're staying in a little flat above it. Now, let's go, your trunk is up there already."

"Night, Mrs. Weasley," I said and before she could return the favor, I ran up the stairs and to the second floor, where the twins' room was. I opened the door slowly and fell onto the unoccupied bed without taking my shoes off and I closed my eyes. The bed was so much more comfortable than the floor at the Dursleys.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"HEY! HEY! WAKE UP!"

Someone was jumping on my bed and I opened my eyes slowly to see Ron, with one leg and hand on one side of my body and his other arm and leg on the other side of my body. He bounced up and down again.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

"I AM UP!" I yelled in his face and he got off me, ripping the blankets from my body. I shivered. "RONALD, GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"WAZZUP?"

"Get _away_ from me, Ron!" I said. I began to take my shoes off, which were still on from the night before. I stood up and saw that Harry was already awake and out of bed. I was alone with Ron in the room.

"We already came in to wake up Harry," Ron said, sitting on the foot of my bed and I told Ron to close his eyes and he did honestly. I changed my shirt and quickly changed into shorts. "But I guess you were _out_! Can I open my eyes now?"

"Yeah," I muttered.

Ron did so and watched me put my dirty clothes back in my trunk. "Mum's got breakfast ready – I already ate –"

"Surprise," I joked.

"Shut it!" he grinned. "Anyway, we weren't expecting you until morning and when mum told us you were here – well, that's fantastic. Hermione actually told me I should wake you up or your breakfast will get cold – mum says you two are too skinny… you and Harry. She doesn't shut up about you –"

"RON!" I shouted and he fell silent. "Could you shut up? I'll come downstairs in a second."

I followed Ron downstairs and Hermione greeted me with a smile, Ginny grinning beside her. I sat down beside Harry, grabbing some toast and Mrs. Weasley piled pancakes on my plate.

"When did you get here?" Harry asked, just as tired as I was.

"About one."

Harry groaned something and I moaned back. "How are you?" Hermione said and I looked up from my breakfast plate, shrugging. She frowned.

"Never better," I replied.

"You're just hungry," Mrs. Weasley piled more food onto my plate and I leaned back, sighing. "Eat up, eat up."

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I turned around to see a red headed man and a blonde woman hanging off his arm. She was rubbing his shoulder and touching him gently and Mrs. Weasley ran over to him and pushed them both towards me. I stood.

"Darcy, this is my son, Bill. Bill, this is Darcy. And _this_," she pointed to the blonde woman. When I finished shaking Bill's hand, I looked at her. Mrs. Weasley sneered while the blonde wasn't looking. "This is Fleur."

"Nice to meet you," I said almost cheerfully.

"Yes," Bill replied, grinning. "Mum's told me all about you."

"Oh, er – that's nice," I said, glancing at Mrs. Weasley.

Bill and Fleur walked into the sitting room where they sat by the fire. Ginny scrunched her nose. "I hate her."

I shifted awkwardly. It wasn't like Mrs. Weasley to not say anything after hearing Ginny say something like that. "Er – Fleur? She didn't seem that bad," I said quietly.

"Yeah, just let it go, Ginny!" Ron protested. "She's not that bad!"

"She treats us all like we're three years old!" Ginny hissed. "Darcy, why couldn't Bill fall in love with _you_? I'd rather have you in our family than _Phlegm_!"

I snorted. As Mrs. Weasley walked into the sitting room to join her son and 'Phlegm', Ginny continued to speak directly to me.

"She's been talking about it for weeks now. She raves about you to Bill – I think she's convinced you two will fall magically in love and Fleur will be out of here in no time," Ginny said and I raised my eyebrows. "I told her it wouldn't happen so then she tried to bring Tonks around, but you know Tonks – compared to Fleur…"

"Like I'm any better?" I asked with a laugh.

"At least you can walk a straight line," Ginny sighed. "I swear – Tonks broke about eight glasses over the past summer."

I laughed again. "I can't assure you I'd be the right fit for Bill anyway. I never did like redheads."

"Yeah, besides," Ron rolled his eyes. "You've got yourself a man, haven't you?"

I nearly choked on my food. "Enough!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Darcy?" Mrs. Weasley called from the kitchen. I was in the sitting room, reading the newspaper.

"What?"

"Can you get the door? I'm busy! It might be Arthur – make sure you ask the question!"

I sighed and stood up, walking over to the front door. I put my ear to it and grumbled, "Who's there? Prove it."

"It is I, Remus John Lupin," said the voice and my heart raced. "And you're Darcy Potter."

"What's my favorite food?" I asked with a smile.

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

I hesitated. "With what jelly?"

"Grape."

I opened the door and flung myself at him. Despite the fact that he looked ill and even worse than the year before, he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me inside, walking slowly, but steadily. His fingers trailed up and down my spine and he greeted Mrs. Weasley and set me down, his hand gently touching the small of my back.

I kept fidgeting and I think Mrs. Weasley noticed. I wanted to touch him; I wanted to hug him and kiss him and just feel him, but I didn't want to do it in front of her.

As he spoke to Mrs. Weasley, I looked him over. His hair was streaked with even more grey and his face was pale and sickly. I couldn't help it; in the middle of answering Mrs. Weasley's question, I stood up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his cheek. Mrs. Weasley shot me a quick, disapproving glance, but I ignored it and he continued to speak, but with a smile on his face.

Lupin's fingers kept running up and down my spine, giving me goosebumps. I bit my lip and looked up at him again.

"Darcy? Do you mind helping me with lunch?" Mrs. Weasley asked and I frowned. There was another knock at the door and she asked if I could get the door instead.

"Who is it?" I asked, putting my ear to the door. Lupin waited patiently in the kitchen, watching me carefully.

"It is I, Arthur Weasley! And I've always wanted to figure out how planes stayed up in the air!" I opened the door and he put his bowler hat on the hat rack to his left. "Darcy, dear! Sorry I didn't get a chance to see you yet!" He hugged me tightly and kissed both my cheeks.

"Great to see you again, Mr. Weasley."

I followed him into the kitchen and he grinned, sticking out his hand for Lupin to shake. "Excellent! Great to see you again, Remus! Molly said you'd be coming."

"I wouldn't miss Molly's cooking for the world," he replied and Mrs. Weasley blushed a bit. I stood beside Lupin and he looked down at me, smiling. He drew lazy circles in the middle of my back and I rested my head against his arm, staring off into space. Mr. Weasley smiled at me.

Mrs. Weasley cleared her throat sternly, but I didn't move. "Darcy? Would you mind helping with –"

"No worries, darling," Mr. Weasley winked at me behind his wife's back and walked over to her. "I'll help you out. Darcy's our guest."

Mrs. Weasley mumbled something to her husband. I grabbed Lupin's hand gently and pulled him to the sitting room, where Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione were all talking. They smiled at Lupin and greeted him.

"Aha! The happy couple is back!" Ron announced and I blushed. "Mum's probably angry that you aren't with Bill. That's why she's distracting you."

"No," I said, sitting down beside Harry. He moved closer to Ron so Lupin had a place to sit, too. "I think she's distracting me from Remus because she doesn't want us together in general."

"Have you seen them? Bill and Fleur? I absolutely hate her," Ginny told Lupin and he looked at me with a small smile. I leaned into his body and prepared myself for Ginny to continue. "They're always all over each other –"

I sat up immediately and moved closer to Harry, away from Lupin.

Ginny widened her eyes. "Oh no – I meant – not you – Bill and Fleur –" She sighed and I fell back onto Lupin's chest. Ginny's face turned as red as her hair.

"Harry," I said suddenly, trying to change the subject. "Aren't you O.W.L.'s supposed to be coming soon?"

"Yes!" said Hermione, sounding exasperated. She rocked in her rocking chair and sighed, running her fingers through her bushy hair. "And I'm so nervous! They were supposed to come first thing this morning, but –"

"Hermione," I chuckled, looking at Lupin. "I'm sure you did fine. Don't worry."

Mrs. Weasley interrupted us and walked into the sitting room. I sat up again off Lupin as she eyed me carefully. "Harry, dear, you'll have to share a room with Ron tonight – Ron, let Harry have the bed and you can sleep on the floor. Tonks is coming tonight, so she and Fleur will be sharing Fred and George's room. Darcy, you can sleep –"

Lupin and I answered at exactly the same time.

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"She can sleep with me."

I exchanged a horrified look with Lupin and he shrugged, thinking it was a perfectly good idea. I stuttered and the room went quiet. Ron stifled a giggle and I shot him a dirty look. Mrs. Weasley nodded awkwardly. "Well then… when it comes time for everyone to go to bed, we'll figure it out…"

She left and everyone saw it as their cue to leave as well. I turned and looked at Lupin with wide eyes. "Sleep with you? She asked me, you know," I whispered.

"I just thought – I didn't think it would be a bad idea," he replied. "I mean, we've shared a bed before."

"We just met up after a whole summer and now we're going to be sleeping together?"

"It's not like we're _sleeping_ together… we're actually sleeping."

"But you know Mrs. Weasley doesn't approve of our relationship," I hissed. "But if that's the way it's going to be, maybe _you_ can sleep on the couch." I stood up, but Lupin grabbed my hand and pulled me back down.

"Just one night. It's a big bed, too. Come on, I missed you." He brushed his lips against my jaw and I smiled. "But if you want to be alone on this couch, then be my guest. I'll be sleeping in the nice, comfy bed that you could be sharing with –"

"Okay, okay!" I laughed. "I'll sleep with you."

I went to kiss his lips, but Harry's voice made me freeze. "DARCY, OUR O.W.L.'S ARE HERE – WANT TO COME SEE?"


	3. Doubts and Competition

**DOUBTS AND COMPETITION.**

"Er – Hermione, what happened to your eye?" I asked, examining it closely. She had only been out of the living room for a few minutes and she was already forming a black eye. I held my wand over her and flicked it, but it did nothing. I frowned. "I don't understand – it usually works."

"It'll be Fred's and George's idea of a joke if it doesn't come off," said Ginny and Hermione's mouth dropped open a little. I sat at the end of the table and Lupin stood behind me, his hands placed gently on my shoulders.

"Where are your results?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Mrs. Weasley flicked her wand and a chair appeared behind Lupin, hitting his knees and making him fall back into the chair. He sat beside me, a bit surprised, but then relaxed. "There's three owls… I'm surprised they know you guys are here."

Hermione's hands were shaking as she opened her envelope. "I just _know_ I messed up Ancient Runes!"

I looked towards Harry and he read his letter a few times before his breathing went back to normal. He grinned and handed it to me. I read them and smiled. He had gotten one O, in Defense Against the Dark Arts. The only classes he messed up were Divination and History of Magic – which he collapsed in anyway.

"Well done in the Dark Arts, Harry," Lupin smiled proudly, as if Harry was his own son. I cringed a bit, seeing as the age different was right.

"How did you two do?" I asked.

"Not bad," Ron replied and he handed me his. There were no outstandings. He also failed History of Magic and Divination. "Hermione, what about – Merlin's beard! – ten O's? You're disappointed, aren't you?"

Hermione laughed and shook her head.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Someone stumbled out in the hall and I jumped up, racing to see if anyone had gotten hurt. As I looked at the ground, I grinned.

"Wotcher, Darcy!"

"Tonks!" I breathed and I stuck out my hand, helping her up. "When did you get here?"

"Like, five minutes ago," she replied, brushing herself off. "I tried to scare you, but I'm just too clumsy!" She looked at me and smiled, and then held her arms out. I hugged her tightly.

Feelings of guilt suddenly filled my head and I pulled away from Tonks suddenly, but she didn't seem to notice anything weird. She sat down on the couch and I took a seat beside her. I didn't want her to be upset, but I didn't know how to avoid it –

"How are things? With you and Remus?" she asked and I raised an eyebrow, stuttering. "I'm not upset, Darcy…"

"Well, we're uh – we're fine…" I replied. "How have things been with you?" I asked her quickly, trying to talk about anything other than Lupin.

"Alright," she grinned. "Dumbledore told me I'll be going back to Hogwarts this year as extra protection. I'm just so excited. Aren't you?" She didn't let me answer. "I heard Molly telling me that Slughorn is going to be the potions master this year. Who's going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

"Snape," I answered dully.

"Snape? Is that a good idea?" she asked – she was mostly talking to herself, but she glanced at me every so often. "I mean, he's in the Order, but Dumbledore knows he was… oh, I guess it doesn't matter… he's on our side now, isn't he?"

I nodded slowly.

"Dumbledore is very concerned for the safety and welfare of his students," Tonks suddenly said gravely and she caught my attention once more. I stared at her.

"What do you mean? Are they in trouble?"

"Now everyone knows that Voldemort is back," she began. "We think that he's trying to get into the school – or at least some Death Eaters are. You really think he'd just forget what happened to you and Harry and everyone last year?"

I looked away.

I was about to speak, but Mrs. Weasley's voice saved me. "DINNER'S READY!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dinner was the best meal I had eaten in a long time. Mrs. Weasley prepared almost everything under the sun. There was chicken, steak, pork, and plenty of dessert to go around. I sat next to Harry and Lupin and it was difficult to eat because my elbows would keep bumping theirs; I didn't want to touch Lupin too much with Tonks in sight. I still felt guilty and terrible, although she barely seemed to notice.

Conversation was excellent. There was no one talking about Lupin and me – it was mostly about Hogwarts and how Mrs. Weasley was a bit concerned. She also talked about Slughorn, as did Mr. Weasley. They chatted about Snape being the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and then asked Tonks if she was ready to return to Hogwarts. Lupin was excited to return, as well.

Fleur and I cleaned up after dinner, using magic rarely. We passed the time by cleaning up everything by hand and washing dishes the Muggle way, like I normally did at the Dursley's house.

"That Remus man," Fleur began and I felt my cheeks turn red as I rinsed the plates she handed me. "You like him?"

"I, well, I –" I laughed nervously. "Yes, I like him. I think he's a very nice man."

"No," she said and I avoided eye contact with Fleur. "You like him more – more than friend?"

I didn't say anything comprehendible. I kept spluttering nonsense.

"He's a bit old, don't you think?" she asked me with a thick French accent. "How old?"

"He's, er – thirty six."

She didn't say anything the rest of the time.

"Going to bed, Darcy?" Mrs. Weasley asked me after dinner. I was slouched on the couch, half awake, listening to the wireless she had put out. Mrs. Weasley was trying to knit a blanket or something the Muggle way and I knew she was doing it wrong because Petunia was an avid knitter and quite good at it. "I'll leave if you want to sleep."

"Oh, no," I said, sitting up slightly and rubbing my eyes. "I'm uh – I'm sleeping in Remus's room tonight."

"Really?" she asked and her eyebrows shot up, giving me a stern look. I chuckled. I knew that look. It was the mother look – the overprotective look – the look that I had never seen my own mother give me. "In his bed?"

"Yes," I nodded. "But it's just sleeping, Mrs. Weasley. Remember, I'm twenty-one! We had this discussion already."

"I know, I just think he's a bit old!" she reminded me for what was the thousandth time. "I just think it's also a bit odd that he was your dad's best friend – he's always saying how you look so much like Lily."

My breath hitched. I suddenly remembered what Emily had said to me in my last year at Hogwarts.

_"You look exactly like your mum! He must have been in love with her or something so when he sees you, he just thinks of Lily! And so he thinks he must be in love with__you__or something!"_

I never thought it was a reasonable argument, but if Emily wasn't the only one who thought so… my heart raced a little. I always thought Emily was daft and that she didn't know what she was talking about, but Mrs. Weasley knew… She knew what she was talking about… I had been terrified by that idea more than once and I was beginning to have my doubts about our relationship again.

"So you think," I sighed. "That's he's using me because I look like my mother?"

"Not entirely, dear," she said sadly. "What I mean is, seeing Lily in you reminds him of a time when he was happy. He's happy with you, that's for sure… You should see the way he looks at you. He's a good man, I'll give you that. And trust me," she lowered her voice. "I'd rather you two get married than Bill and Phlegm –"

"Mrs. Weasley!"

"It's true, darling. Goodnight."

I nodded in acknowledgment and stood up, climbing the stairs and turning left, entering the bedroom on the right. Lupin stirred and I kicked off my shoes quietly, standing beside the bed hesitantly. I knew that getting in beside him would officially mark the start of a relationship. I desperately wanted that relationship, but Mrs. Weasley's words were haunting me – so were Emily's from two years ago. I knew they were both right. It was odd, but not so different from when he was with Tonks.

I slowly slipped under the blankets and he stirred again, this time with his arm wrapping firmly around my waist and pulling me close to his warm body. "Finally," he whispered and I smiled. "I was worried you were really going to sleep on the couch."

"I was just talking with Mrs. Weasley," I told him. I sighed and then asked. "Remus? What exactly was my mum like?"

"She was very kind," he said. "Lighthearted… and cheeky, too. Sometimes she'd get easily embarrassed and flustered. And, of course, she looked just like you."

"Were you – and – and you weren't in love with her?" I asked quietly. He opened his eyes and searched my face, looking for an explanation to my question. "Were you or weren't you in love with my mother?"

"As good a person as she was," he began and I felt my heart sink. "I was not. James was. Why would you ask that, love?"

"I was just thinking that…" I hesitated again. "That I simply reminded you of her. I don't know, I guess I was just being stupid."

"No, you're not being stupid," Lupin replied calmly. "I can see how you'd think that, Darcy, but that's not why I keep coming back to you. I keep coming back to you because, well – you're your own person. I like you for you. Not because I liked James and Lily."

I nodded and cuddled into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He threw his arm around me again and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, Darcy."

I grinned. "I love you, too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Late at night, I needed a glass of water. Lupin let me go reluctantly and I climbed out of bed, creeping silently down the stairs. I heard talking and hid at the top of the staircase, pulling my knees to my chest and listening carefully. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were talking – arguing, actually.

"I know he's a good man, but she's twenty-one years old! That's a bit of an age difference!" Mrs. Weasley hissed at her husband.

"What about Tonks? She's not much older, you know," Mr. Weasley reasoned. "Besides, he's good for her. If she gets into anymore trouble, which you know she will, he will be there to protect her."

"I agree, but if we send him back to Hogwarts with her this year," she sighed loudly. "They'll be alone all the time."

"Are you worried about what they do alone?" Mr. Weasley laughed quietly. "I don't believe that's any of your business, Molly. Why are you so worried about her in the first place? She's bright and strong and she's got a good head on her shoulders. She knows what she's getting herself into."

"What about the fact that he's a – a –"

"Molly, she knows. They've accepted that."

"Well, what would Sirius think?"

My stomach churned. "Sirius knew, dear," Mr. Weasley told her and I sighed quietly. "And he spoke with me about it. He didn't like the idea that he best friend was messing around with his goddaughter – that's all. But you have to admit, Remus would do anything to make sure she's safe!"

Mrs. Weasley was quiet and I licked my lips.

"Just because you'd rather Bill marry Darcy doesn't mean you can sabotage her relationship with Remus. You see how happy Remus is with her? Have you seen how happy Darcy is? I didn't honestly think it was possible."

"You're right, Arthur, you're right."

"Alright, dear. C'mon, let's go to bed."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Wake up," I smiled, touching my thumb to his lips. "Wake up, Remus."

He moaned quietly, but didn't open his eyes.

I touched his cheek and smiled wider, pressing my lips softly to his. "Wake up, Remus. We've got to go to Diagon Alley soon." I kissed him again and his eyes fluttered open, meeting mine.

"I love you," he whispered.

I kissed him a third time.

"Let's just lay here forever."

I touched my lips to his cheek and smiled. "I like kissing you," I whispered. I touched my lips all over his face – on his cheeks, on his lips, on his nose. He smiled and I finally got up out of bed. He opened his eyes and sat up, sighing loudly and contently. "Come on, get up, get up!"

"_I_ don't have to go to Diagon Alley. What's there that I have to buy?"

"We've got to see Fred and George's new shop!" I said, flattening my hair in a mirror hanging on the wall. "Mrs. Weasley says they're really good at the whole business thing. And Ron reckons they'll be the richest Weasleys in the family at this rate!"

"Darcy, I believe I've grown out of the prank stage of my life –"

"A quick visit," I said, turning on my heels and crossing my arms. "A quick visit – that's all. And think about it… maybe there'll be something there that you'll actually enjoy. Fred and George are rather quite clever. Their skiving snackboxes last year were genius. And their fireworks!"

"Seems like you're falling in love with their wit," Lupin pointed out with a frown.

I smirked. "Better kick it up a notch, love."

"Ah, competition? I've only just got you back. Can't I have you to myself for a while without anyone stealing you away?"

I blushed and turned away, smiling to myself and putting my hands on my hips. When I looked at him through the mirror, I realized that he had a straight face. He was serious. "Remus, you know you don't have any real competition."

"I'm just worried that –"

"Remus, I – I –" I wandered back over to him and laid down beside him, taking his hands together. "You don't know what it has been like – waiting for you over the summer… over all of last year... You don't realize how much I wanted you to be with me."

Lupin smiled and touched his lips softly to my lips. "Well, now you've got me."


	4. Hogwarts

**HOGWARTS.**

"Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder?" I raised an eyebrow, looking at Harry with a smile. Fred and George caught my eye and they stepped up to us and threw their arms around our shoulders. Fred took the small, black rock from my hand and I protested, but he grinned. "Word on the street is that you're now with a certain…. Professor Lupin?"

"He isn't a Professor anymore," I muttered, a bit embarrassed. I tried to grab the rock out of Fred's hand, but he held up high so I couldn't reach it. "And come off it, guys. What's it to you?"

Harry was watching with an amused grin as I tried to scale Fred's body to get the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, but I finally gave up with a loud sigh and I walked over to Hermione and Ginny, who were looking at love potions.

"You know, those actually work," George told the three of us and I turned around with an angry look on my face.

"Could you leave me alone for two seconds, please?"

"We just want you to know," Fred said again. "That we don't really approve of this whole situation."

"I don't believe it's _any_ of your business, Fred Weasley," I replied, waltzing over to the Reusable Hangmans. "Why wouldn't you approve of him, hm?"

"He broke your heart last year," George told me darkly. "Don't think we've forgotten. We still mean what we said three years ago. We'll make him pay for what he did to you."

"Yes, well, it's in the past now," I said.

"You're like our sister, Darcy," Fred put his arm around my shoulder again and walked me over to the Trick Wands. "And if anything happens to you, we'll kill him. Or at least make him eat one of these Edible Dark Marks."

"Or give him some U-No-Poo!" cackled George. "That'll team him, wouldn't it, Fred?"

Fred cracked a grin at his brother, but I pushed him away. "You two have nothing to worry about," I reassured them, looking at a Pygmy Puff. "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

"Well, we aren't the only ones concerned, you know," Fred continued and I sighed, rolling my eyes. "We've got our sources. If anything happens to you, we'll make sure something happens to him. Got it?"

"How about this," I said, turning to face the twins. They grinned eagerly. "If something really terrible happens, _I'll_ tell you, then you can feed him some Dark Marks or something… now can you leave me alone?"

"Fair enough, eh, Fred?"

Fred nodded and the twins walked away. I joined Harry and Lupin over by the Decoy Detonators. I was annoyed, so I didn't talk to anyone. I pretended to be very interested in the new devices. Eventually, Ron joined us, as well as Hermione and Ginny, and we all began walking around the store, looking at the new items Fred and George had created and imported.

"How are Fred and George doing it?" I sighed finally. "Half the alley's closed down."

"Darcy!" Harry whispered and I spun around, walking over to him by the large, front window. I spotted two very blonde heads and recognized Malfoy and his mother. They looked around and walked cautiously and quickly down Diagon Alley. "Is it just me, or does Draco and mummy look like they don't to be followed?"

Hermione and Ron were looking through the window as well, Lupin behind us. Ginny had returned to the Pygmy Puffs and she was making a deal with her twin brothers about buying one.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron headed for the door, avoiding Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and I tried to follow, but Lupin grabbed my hand and tugged me back. I pulled away from him and gave him a sympathetic look, following my brother and his friends out the door. We quietly snuck into a narrow, dark alley and followed the two Malfoys into Knockturn Alley and finally into Borgin and Burkes.

We crouched down and watched through a window in the back and found Malfoy, looking strangely at a wardrobe. I narrowed my eyes and saw that several people were crowding around the wardrobe. Suddenly, a shadow got nearer and a tall figure appeared in the window. The four of us dropped to the ground, pressing our backs against the wall beneath the window, hiding ourselves from view.

As we slowly raised ourselves to the window again, someone had shut the curtain and we couldn't see anything else.

My brain whirred inside my head and I tried to put the pieces together. Who were the people in there? Possibly shoppers… no, I thought. They must have been his father's friends – Death Eaters.

I glanced at Harry, who stared at me blankly.

I had come to an awful conclusion. Draco was with his father's friends. His father was in Azkaban. Was it possible that Draco was simply taking after his father?

But that would be impossible. He was sixteen…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I think Fred and George have got something going for them," I said cheerfully, helping myself to a chocolate frog I had just bought from the candy trolley. "Did you see how many people were in there?"

Lupin hummed in response. I looked around at everyone and sighed. The door to our compartment on the train opened abruptly and Luna peered in, smiling at the five of us. "Quibbler?" she asked.

"Please," I answered and she reached over Lupin to hand me one. I read the front page. "Er – what's a wrackspurt?"

"Oh, invisible creatures," she replied in a dreamy tone. "They float in your ears and make your brain go fuzzy."

My eyes widened and I nodded slowly as she left, closing the door gently behind her. I put the magazine up top with my trunk, looking at Harry across from me. "You lot have been awfully quiet the whole train ride," I finally announced. "What's going on?"

"What was Draco doing looking at that weird cabinet?" Ron asked us all, leaning in. "And who were all those people?"

"Don't you see?" Harry whispered. "It was a ceremony."

My heart dropped into my stomach. I had been thinking the same thing, but didn't actually believe anyone had come up with the same conclusion I had. "An initiation…" I said slowly, thinking it over. It made sense entirely.

"Oh, Darcy, relax," Lupin said, sighing loudly. "I know where you're going with this." I sat up and looked at him. He seemed very calm and he shook his head. I shook mine in response and looked at Harry.

"It's happened, hasn't it?" I asked. "He's one of them?"

"One of what?" Hermione said.

"Darcy is under the impression that Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater," Lupin told them all. "I told you earlier that you're taking it too far." I rolled my eyes and frowned. Harry cocked an eyebrow at me and shrugged slightly, thinking the same thing I was.

"You're barking," Ron said loudly, and then he hushed his voice. "What would You-Know-Who want with the sort like Malfoy?"

"Well," Harry spat. "What's he doing in Borgin and Burkes? Browsing for furniture?"

"And his father is a Death Eater!" I protested. "It only makes sense!"

"He's sixteen years old!" Hermione added.

"You guys can't side with him!" I said furiously, pointing at Lupin. "It's true! It's got to be! Malfoy is a Death Eater! Aren't you at all suspicious about him?" They all nodded and shrugged and I stood up, needing to get a quick breath of fresh air out in the small hallway. I glanced at Lupin before leaving and I heard Harry behind me, "I need some air."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Darcy! Darcy! Darcy, wait up!"

I kept on walking, still fuming. Lupin ran up beside me, but I completely ignored him, pretending I was looking at my nails. I couldn't bring myself to believe that only Harry agreed with me. It made me angry beyond belief. I presented evidence – there wasn't a lot of it, but it all fit! I began walking towards the carriages, but then spun around quickly. Hermione and Ron walked ahead of me. "Where's Harry?" I demanded.

"He probably already got off the train," Lupin shrugged, placing his hand on the small of my back. I shrugged his hand off me and quickly jogged back onto the train, getting slightly worried. All of the compartments were shut, but I checked every single one until I reached the back of the train.

As I walked down the aisle, my foot caught on something and I fell to the ground, my hands breaking my fall. I swore under my breath and stood back up, brushing myself off, trying to find what I had tripped over. I reached out in front of me and my hand grabbed something. I curled my hand around a section of Harry's Invisibility Cloak and tore it off. His nose was broken and blood was trickling down his face, but he was not moving. I pulled my wand out of my pocket.

"_Finite Incantatum_!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "You had me worried. Who did this to you?"

We jumped off the train and quickly walked up to the castle; all of the carriages had left. "Malfoy – tried to spy on him." He winced in pain as he touched his fingers to his nose. "Could you fix my nose, please?"

I nodded and pointed my wand at his nose. He closed his eyes and braced himself. "_Episkey_!" There was crack and Harry cried out in pain, but then opened his eyes and felt his nose. It had gone back to normal. I flicked my wand and wiped the blood from his face.

"Thank you," he groaned. "Sorry I made you miss the carriages… and Lupin."

"It's fine, really," I replied. "He was upsetting me anyway. How could he –"

"It's about time! I've been looking for you two everywhere! All right, names?" squeaked the tiny Professor Flitwick. He looked down at his clipboard and then raised his eyebrows, looking at me and Harry.

I started to chuckle. "You had me for seven years, Professor… and I was here last year, too!"

"No exceptions… Potter," Flitwick said.

I glanced at Harry and we smiled at each other. Professor Flitwick ushered us inside and I quickly ran up to the professor's table, taking my seat next to Snape. Beside me, where Umbridge sat last year, was Professor Slughorn. Dumbledore had not yet begun his speech and Snape gave me a curious look. I smiled weakly as Dumbledore stepped up to his podium. I snuck bites of food because I was so hungry.

"Very best of evenings to you," he began. "First off, let me introduce the newest member to our staff: Horace Slughorn. Professor Slughorn, I am happy to say, has agreed to resume his old post as potions master. Meanwhile, the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts has been filled by none other than Professor Snape.

"We also would like to welcome back Professor Potter, who will be one of your potions teachers – with Professor Slughorn –" everyone cheered. Slytherin just clapped. "But as you know, each and every one of you was searched upon your arrival here tonight.

"You have the right to know why. Once, there was a young man who, like all of you, sat in this very hall, walked this castles corridors, slept under this roof. He seemed to all the word a student like any other. His name: Tom Riddle.

"Today of course, he's known all over the world by another name. Which is why, as I stand looking out upon you tonight, I'm reminded of a sobering fact: every day, every hour, this very minute perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castles walls. But in the end, their greatest weapon is you."

Everyone began to mutter and I sighed, "That's cheerful."

"Shh," Snape told me and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You can't talk to me like that – I'm not your intern anymore," I smirked and Snape gave me a look I never wanted to see again. I looked away and went back to eating my food, although it wasn't long before Dumbledore dismissed us all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Your luggage is already in our room," Lupin told me, catching up to me and walking up the stairs beside me. "It's on the third floor, with the garden on it. Darcy, are you listening to me?"

"Can you just leave me alone for a while?" I snapped and continued looking straight forward. I had no idea where I was going if I didn't want to go back to our quarters.

"Darcy, why are you so mad at me? I don't think I've done anything to really upset you in the first place."

"You could have at least sided with me," I hissed, stomping up the stairs angrily. "I had evidence and it was pretty damn good, too. Now just – go – leave me alone."

"I won't," he said firmly and stood in front of me, preventing me from getting any further up the stairs.

"If you don't leave me alone, I'll get Peeves to harass you for the entire school year," I threatened him, tapping his chest. "And I know how much you absolutely hate him."

"So if I believe you – if I side with you, you won't be angry at me anymore?"

"Pretty much."

"Then I believe you!"

"I wonder if he's gotten the Dark Mark yet… Yes, they probably –"

"Darcy, you listen to me!" he took my shoulders and shook me. I widened my eyes and stared at him. The portraits around us watched us silently, listening to him yell at me. "Just because Lucius Malfoy is a Death Eater doesn't mean his son is! Why would a sixteen-year-old boy take the Dark Mark? It's insane! Your evidence doesn't prove anything!"

"Aren't you worried? Lucius Malfoy tried to kill me last year! What if he wants his son to kill me instead now that he's in Azkaban?"

"You're being stupid, Darcy!" he shouted, shaking me again. "Draco Malfoy wouldn't kill you! You're just paranoid and scared and – and it's ridiculous and stupid and outrageous and insane! Understand?"

"Remus, please don't –"

There was a low cough from behind us and I looked past Lupin to see Snape climbing the staircase slowly, his wand lit. Lupin let go of me. I was frozen in fear. Lupin had never touched me that roughly – never yelled at me that loudly or harshly. "What's going on?" Snape asked with a sneer. "Miss Potter?"

Lupin stared at me, our chests heaving up and down. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking quickly at Snape. My mouth opened, but no words came out.

Finally – "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Snape repeated.

"Nothing," I said again, my voice quiet. It also cracked.

Snape's eyes flicked to Lupin's. "Touch her again like that and Dumbledore will have you out of this school within seconds," he said quickly. He brushed past us, his black cloak touching my skin and giving me goosebumps.

"Are you – are you okay?" Lupin asked, but I backed away from him and walked quickly to our quarters, while Lupin went back down the stairs, holding his head in his hands.


	5. A Saving People Thing

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while… but here is the next chapter! **

**A SAVING PEOPLE THING.**

I waited up for Lupin. He didn't come back until around one in the morning, looking quite deranged. His eyes were cold and hard, not like the usual soft, kind eyes I always saw. His body was tense and his face was pale and set. I stood up, walking over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and he pressed his lips to my forehead gently, as if I was breakable.

"You should be sleeping," he whispered.

I buried my face in his chest. "I was waiting for you to come back."

"You've got classes tomorrow."

"I didn't want to sleep alone."

Lupin smiled weakly. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I really am. I didn't mean to – I yelled at you – I didn't mean to touch you like that… To hurt you…"

"You didn't hurt me," I said honestly, taking him by the hands and pulling him to the bedroom. "I was just shocked that there was a side like that to the quiet, shy, kind Remus Lupin." I grinned.

"You should be getting to bed, c'mon," he said sternly. "You can't oversleep for your first day of lessons."

But I couldn't sleep because I was wide awake. As Lupin folded back the blankets on the left side of the bed, I walked over to my trunk, opening it and beginning to unpack all my clothes, putting them into a dresser. Lupin took his shirt off and got into bed, looking at me. "I'll be there in a minute," I muttered.

As I put away my last shirt, Lupin groaned again and I didn't realize how much time I had passed unpacking. "C'mon, Darcy. Bed."

"In a minute," I stalled, sitting on the floor with my legs tucked underneath me. I slowly closed my trunk and locked it, fiddling with the handle.

"You've been saying that for an hour," Lupin replied. His eyes were shut, the blankets pulled up to his chin. He sighed. "Come on, I'm cold." I smiled. He sounded like a teenager when he complained, but it never failed to make me smile. I heard him pat the bed and I stood up, stripping down and then changing into pajamas.

I climbed in bed beside him and he wrapped his arm around me, kissing my bare shoulder blade. I felt my face get hot. I pulled the blanket up to my neck and giggled.

"I really am sorry about earlier," he whispered. His hot breath against my neck gave me chills and I closed my eyes. "I really didn't mean to hurt you in any way possible. You know that's the last thing I ever want to do."

"I know," I replied. "You're lucky Snape showed up. You know what happens when I get angry." I smiled weakly. I rolled over to see a frown on his face.

"He thinks you're mental."

"Why would he think that?" I asked.

"Because you're with me. A thirty six year old werewolf."

"Hey," I chuckled. "You never know. Snape's girlfriend could be a thirty six year old werewolf." When he didn't even smile, I kissed him. "Does it bother you what people think about us?"

"Not really," he answered. "Does it bother you at all?"

"Why are you so insecure about this?" I frowned. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with us. There are plenty of couples with big age differences, but what does that matter? Love is love, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but I just feel like I'm – I'm robbing you of your life. Your youth. It's not fair to you to have stealing you away from all the younger, more attractive men in the world."

I laughed. "You think there is someone out there better than you? You think there's someone more attractive than you?" He shrugged and I shook my head and touched his cheek. "Well, you're the only one I want."

Lupin smiled big at me. "I'm happy."

"That's good." I rolled over again and shut my eyes. He kissed my shoulder again. "Now, we need to sleep. I've got class tomorrow."

"Excited?"

"Very. But I'm going to be very tired in the morning if you won't let me sleep."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When I woke up, the sun was beating down on my face, nearly blinding me. Lupin's arm was securely wrapped around my waist. I sat up and jumped out of bed, pushing Lupin over. He groaned and I hopped in the shower, got dressed, and looked in the mirror. "Do you think I look… presentable?" I asked him.

"Yes," he replied, but his eyes were still closed.

"Are you coming to the feast?" I asked.

Lupin groaned again and I laughed. It was only seven in the morning and the first class started at 8:30. I smiled and walked over to Lupin, leaving a lingering kiss on his lips and then pulled away, walking out the door.

I reached the staff table in the Great Hall, taking my seat between Snape and Slughorn. I caught Harry's eye and grinned. He returned my grin with a warm smile as he dug into some fried eggs. "So, Miss Potter!"

I jumped and looked to my left to see Slughorn smiling widely at me. "Yes, Professor?" I asked, shoving my mouth full of eggs, trying to avoid conversation with him.

"I was thinking you could teach the first lesson today!"

I looked at him and swallowed loudly and painfully. "Are you sure?" He nodded. "We – well, I never really intended to be a Potions Master... You'll stop me if I do horribly, won't you?" I was only half joking.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Miss Potter."

"We'll see, won't we?"

"You know," Slughorn began. "I was talking to Dumbledore about you. He raved about you – very fond of you, you know. Well anyway, he kept going on about your bravery and confidence and all the things that you've accomplished during your school years. To be honest, I expected you to be quite the troublemaker! But I suppose I was wrong."

"I'm only twenty-one, you know," I chuckled nervously. "I should be more mature than my sixteen year old brother. Besides, if I am going to become a Potions Master, I've got to set an example for the students, yeah?"

Slughorn nodded. "I thought that a certain male would be having an impression on you."

I started choking on my sausage and I coughed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Snape smirk and I aimed a kick at his leg. My toe connected with his shin and his jaw locked. My eyes started watering and my toe throbbed. I calmed myself down and looked at Slughorn. "I'm sorry, sir?"

"You surely know who I'm talking about!"

"Um, I don't, actually," I said innocently. "Harry?"

"No, no, no, that Remus boy," he told me. "He was good friends with your father and mother – he's you and Harry's guardian, yes?"

"My _guardian_?" I hissed quietly. "My – my – you think Remus looks after me? Like a parent? I'm sorry, but you're mad, sir!"

Snape smirked bigger and I shot an angry glare at him. "Mad?" Slughorn replied. "You think I'm mad? Well, what is he to you, then?"

"He's not my guardian!" I said, quite offended. "He's my – my – Remus is my boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend? As in – you two are together? Like a couple?" Slughorn raised his eyebrows and looked back towards his full plate. His face flushed a deep red and I licked my lips, fuming. "How old is he again? Forty something?"

"He is – he is not! He's thirty six, thank you very much, sir," I shot back and Slughorn flushed again. "And I hardly think he looks it! He's young at heart and a – he's a gentleman and we love each other very much." I nodded matter-of-factly.

"I never doubted your relationship!" Slughorn said in an apologetic tone. I refused to look at him. I poked at my eggs. "I think – I think I'll be headed to the classroom… finish up the notes… make sure the potions are okay…"

He stood up and hurried down a row towards the giant doors, exiting the Great Hall. I scoffed and angrily stabbed my last sausage with my fork. I looked up at Snape who was actually smiling – cruelly – but he was smiling.

"Oh, shut up!" I sneered as he began to chuckle darkly. "Like you would know _anything _about love."

"Sometimes – actually, all of the time – I wish that Dumbledore would have stopped you two in your seventh year."

I blinked and frowned. I lowered my voice and stared straight ahead at Harry, who was laughing at something Hermione had said. "Don't I deserve to be happy?" I said aloud, not really to Snape in particular, but more to myself. "In dark times like these?"

"There's been speculation that soon – quite soon – a war is going to happen. And you're worried about love?" Snape was speaking so quietly so only I could hear him. "That's what's wrong with you. In the middle of all this, you get upset over something as small as a professor mistaking your boyfriend for your guardian. Don't you have better things to be worried about?"

Snape had offended me, but I didn't let him know. "Without love, we would have no chance against Voldemort. It's the one thing we've got that he doesn't!" I hissed in Snape's ear. "It's the reason Harry and I are –"

"Don't speak his name!" Snape snapped and I raised an eyebrow.

"Well it's the reason we're alive. If it hadn't been for my mother's love, we would have been dead long ago."

"That may be the case, but this is different. Completely different," Snape replied. "Keeping Lupin close to you will only hurt him. The Dark Lord will know that to get to you, he'd either have to take your brother or Lupin."

I was silent. I stared at him and his black eyes met mine for a split second.

"He knows you two have a saving people thing."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you two would do anything to save your friends and the people you love. It's just like when He put that image of Sirius in your brother's head – he knew you two would come running." Snape paused. "You've got to be careful."

"I'm always careful. I know what I'm doing and I don't need _you_ to protect me or watch over me or whatever Dumbledore tells you to do," I whispered, glancing at the Headmaster, who was happily drinking his pumpkin juice. "I'm a grown woman. I can take care of my own problems, thank you."

"But if anything were to happen to you –"

I stood up and scoffed. "I hate you."

Snape watched me as I clenched my fists and turned. "Great," he called after me. "For a moment, I was worried you loved me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Slughorn went over with me the notes he had made for the first day of classes. I was to explain the four potions he put out and then instruct them to create a Draught of Living Death. I was a bit nervous – the first class were all sixth years, closer to my age.

As the small class waltzed through the dungeon door, I smiled brightly as Hermione sat beside a Hufflepuff. Draco Malfoy sat with a group of Slytherins and before I could speak, two people bustled through the door. I spun around, raising an eyebrow.

"Harry? Ron? What are you two doing here?" I asked. "I thought you weren't taking potions."

"Well, er – I can go –" Ron took a step backwards, but Harry grabbed his arm and forced him to stay put.

"Professor McGonagall said we could take it with Exceeds Expectations. Is that okay, sir?" Harry looked towards Slughorn and he nodded eagerly at my brother. "But we haven't got books or ingredients."

"Just take some from the store cabinet," Slughorn indicated to a cabinet right to the right of Harry and Ron. "Those will make do until you can write to Flourish and Blotts." Harry nodded and I turned back to the classroom. Malfoy was eyeing Harry with a sneer.

"As you can see, there are three concoctions at each of tables," I pointed to all of them, feeling a bit nervous. I kept looking at Hermione, who would nod and smile, encouraging me and settling my jangling nerves. "Can anyone tell me what these potions are?"

Harry and Ron took a seat with Hermione and the Hufflepuff. Hermione's hand shot into the air and I was thankful I didn't have to call on anyone else. I grinned.

"Er – Hermione?"

She stood up and looked into the first cauldron. Her eyes met mine. "This one is Polyjuice Potion." She stepped to the left. "And this - this is Veritaserum," she said slowly. "It's a truth telling serum." She moved to the next cauldron. "And this one is terribly tricky to make. It's Amortentia, the most powerful love potion in the world. It's rumored to smell differently to each person according to what attracts them. For example, I smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and spearmint toothpaste…"

I nodded at Hermione and spoke again. "Er – Amortentia doesn't actually create _real_ love - that would be impossible. But it does create obsession. It causes powerful infatuation –"

"That's probably what the werewolf used on her," Malfoy muttered to his friend. Slughorn shot him a somewhat nasty glare, but it was nothing compared to the look I gave him. Everybody in the class turned to face the back to look at Malfoy and his friends snickering. My blood boiled. "No one could ever _actually_ love that pathetic excuse for a man."

"I'm sorry, Draco," I replied shortly. "But even if that were a little bit true, I'd still have a better relationship than you would with Pansy Parkinson – that's her name, isn't it? The one that looks like a pug?"

Hermione, Harry, and Ron snickered and Slughorn raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure if he should have stopped me or not.

"What about that one?" asked a Ravenclaw boy. "What's in that bottle?"

I looked nervously back at Slughorn, who sat quietly at his desk in the front of the room. I picked up the small vial full of clear liquid and held it up in front of the class. "This little potion is called Felix Felicis. But it is also known as –"

"Liquid Luck," finished Hermione and I nodded.

"Right, Hermione," I nodded. "One sip and all of your endeavors will succeed – well, until the potion wears off. And this – Liquid Luck – is what I offer all of you today. Whoever brews an acceptable draft of Living Death with receive this tiny bottle as a prize. The recipe can be found on page ten of yours books. You may begin!"


	6. Someone to Listen

**Hi, guys! Well, I'm sorry for the super long wait for the update, but I've been very busy! Summer softball has now officially taken over my life… which isn't all bad. Anyway, Darcy is falling apart in this chapter and there's quite a bit of Snape in this chapter for those of you who like chapters like that. Also – WHO'S READY FOR DH PART 2? THURSDAY NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT? I'm not sure how I feel about Harry Potter being over… but at least we'll have Pottermore!**

**SOMEONE TO LISTEN.**

No one seemed to be able to produce a perfect Draught of Living Death potion. Hermione was the closest as I walked by and I nodded, smiling at her. I walked past Malfoy's, which looked like cat sick.

"Class is almost done!" I called after about an hour. "Put in your last few ingredients and stir a few more times! You've got one more minute!"

Time ran out and I walked over to Harry's, smelling the familiar smell and seeing that his cauldron was the only one that contained a black colored potion. My eyes widened at the sight. Harry was horrible at potions – the recipe I had given them was very difficult and complex, even for me.

"Harry," I looked up at him and the whole room went silent. "It's perfect – it's perfect!"

The students began to whisper amongst themselves and Hermione crossed her arms and scoffed. I reached into my robe pocket and pulled out the small vial of Liquid Luck. Harry reached for it, but I pulled it away before he could grab it.

"As promised, Harry, one vial of Liquid Luck," I smiled.

"She's biased, of course," Malfoy spat again and I rolled my eyes, turning to look at him. "They're siblings – of course he's going to win!"

"Draco, God forbid that if I drink yours, I'll drop dead! If you don't believe me about Harry's potion, perhaps you could test it yourself?" I replied and Malfoy fell silent, crossing his arms. "Fifty points from Slytherin for both comments and you better hope that I don't take anymore." Malfoy looked down and his friend elbowed him hard. "Congratulations, Harry. Use it well."

Slughorn was packing up at the end of the day and I desperately wanted to leave. I hated being in the same room as Slughorn. He talked too much about the stupidest things, wouldn't say anything when someone would say something rude to me, and he did absolutely nothing. I thought that the only reason Slughorn returned to Hogwarts the promise of safety. Slughorn began to speak to me and I bit back a snide remark, smiling politely at him.

"I heard about the Ministry fiasco," Slughorn said. "How you and Harry and a few others broke into the Ministry."

"We didn't break in – we were trying to save someone –"

"That's a very bad idea, Darcy," said Slughorn gravely. "The Ministry is still scared of You-Know-Who and they're iffy about you and your brother, did you know? You may not be a child or a student any longer, but keep this up and you're going to get into serious trouble. You go looking for trouble that isn't there to begin with."

I licked my lips, clenching my fists. "There _was_ trouble, Professor," I replied shortly. "I was trying to save my godfather from Volde –"

"Don't say it."

"I had to save my godfather from You-Know-Who."

Slughorn paused. "It seems like you're trying to fight him on your own." Another long pause. "You can't, Darcy. You can't do it by yourself. You're still too young."

I went to leave the room with a cauldron, a potions book, and my ingredients box. I shuffled to the door and Slughorn called after me. "Leaving already?"

"Yessir," I replied. "Got to get working on my… my… plans."

"Yes, well, I'll see you tomorrow."

Knowing that all classes were done for the day, I snuck down to Snape's classroom. He was still in there and I entered the room, dropping my cauldron on the front desk and opening my ingredients box. "Can you help me?" I asked quietly. Snape looked up at me, a bit surprised, but confused.

"I'm not the potions master anymore, Miss Potter," Snape told me and I nodded.

"Yes, but I don't really like Slughorn," I replied. "He's prejudiced and he's only really concerned about students who have some kind of famous relative or connections or something. The Slug Club – that's what it's called. Harry told me all about it –"

"What do you need help with?" Snape asked irritably.

"I want to make Remus his Wolfsbane, but you never taught me. I never learned how to make it in all my seven years."

"The instructions are in your book."

"But I want to make sure I make it right. I'll make it and then will you just check it to make sure I did it right?"

Snape nodded and I found the recipe for Wolfsbane in my book. As I lit the underside of the cauldron, I threw in some ingredients.

"I don't think Slughorn likes me. I think he thinks I'm too… I don't know," I sighed. "I just don't like when people don't like me." I looked up at Snape, shaking my head and chuckling to myself. My green eyes met his black ones. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. You wouldn't understand."

He looked away and I swallowed loudly, stirring the concoction a little.

I suddenly had the urge to get everything off my chest. Everything that I had been hiding the whole summer – everything I had been hiding since last year. I knew Snape wouldn't talk or give me advice, I knew he probably wouldn't even listen, but I knew I wouldn't have another chance to let everything go. I wanted the weight off my shoulders. I needed to rant.

"It's just – I'm not what people say I am. I'm not like my father. And I know that's what you think of me. You think I'm a bullying, arrogant, rude person, but I'm not. I'm really not." I continued to stir the potion, throwing in another ingredient. I began chopping up some roots after that. "And if you or Slughorn think I'm going to be upset over what you think of me, then forget it. I'm going to be the bigger person. I'm stronger than that."

Snape was looking at me, probably wondering why I was even telling him everything. I felt a lump in my throat. He didn't care, but I continued.

"I'm stronger than that. He doesn't think I can fight Voldemort on my own, well, he's wrong. I can make it out of this alive." I threw my roots into my cauldron angrily. I ran a hand through my hair, staring down into the clear liquid. "But I'm just scared, you know? Scared that I'll lose Harry or Remus or Hermione or Ron or someone I love."

I stirred the liquid slowly. I suddenly felt as though a thousand pounds had been lifted off my shoulders after letting Snape know all that. I did feel vulnerable, but I trusted Snape. Dumbledore trusted Snape – why couldn't I? It felt nice to have someone listen without giving me their input every five seconds.

"I know you're doing this on Dumbledore's orders and you probably don't care about anything I just told you, but thank you. But I don't think you really understand. I grew up living in a house where I had to be the parent to both Harry and myself. I didn't have anyone to properly look after me." Tears welled up in my eyes. The potion was almost done. It was steaming.

Snape still didn't say anything and I started to cry. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

"And even though I'm sure you don't want to listen to me or care or whatever, I'm glad I've got someone in all this mess that'll make sure I'm safe in the middle of this madness."

Snape stood up and walked over to my cauldron, peering down into it. He took the ladle from me and stirred it clockwise four more times. "It's ready."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How was your first day back?" Lupin asked me as I handed him a gobletful of Wolfsbane. He went to kiss me, but I pushed him back lazily, sitting on the couch and covering my face in my hands. "What's wrong?" He sat next to me, draining his goblet in one sip. He scrunched his nose.

"My guardian," I muttered, walking into the bedroom and falling onto the bed. "My guardian, Remus. That's what Slughorn thought you were to me. He thought you were my guardian."

"Well…" he said, stroking my hair. "I can see why he'd say that – I was your dad's best friend. But you told me it didn't bother you. You've got to ignore that."

"Malfoy said you must have used a love potion on me because no one could ever love a pathetic excuse for a man like you," I said sadly again. "Because you're a werewolf."

"He's simply doing that because he's Draco," Lupin told me. "Don't let him get to you, okay? You've got thick skin, Darcy, it shouldn't bother you. I love you and you love me, right?"

I nodded.

"Good. Now, give me a kiss and we can head down to the feast."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Dumbledore wants to have private lessons with me," Harry said quietly. I asked Lupin to wait in the sitting room as Harry and I chatted in the bedroom, the door shut tight and a spell cast on it so Lupin wouldn't hear us if he tried.

I sat cross-legged across from Harry and raised an eyebrow. "Private lessons? And he didn't say why?"

"No," Harry replied. "But I've got to go Saturday. Dumbledore's getting me out of detention with Snape."

"He won't be too happy about that."

"No."

"But he didn't say why?" I asked curiously and Harry shook his head and shrugged. "That's odd."

"That's why I came to you," Harry sighed. "I was wondering if you knew something about it. Perhaps Dumbledore mentioned something to you?"

I shook my head.

"What about him?" Harry asked, jerking his thumb towards the bedroom door.

"Remus? He doesn't know anything. He hardly leaves our quarters – he's a bit unsure of himself. I don't really know if he wants to be here." We both stared at the door and then looked at each other again. "Have you found out anything about Malfoy?"

"No, but I told Mr. Weasley and he said he'd try to find out more."

"He believed you?" I asked incredulously. "When did you ask?"

"Before boarding the train," Harry answered. "And he didn't believe me… but he definitely said he'd check. Now that Malfoy's in Azkaban, Mr. Weasley can raid his house for some Dark artifacts or something."

"Yeah," I said with a huge sigh. "Remus doesn't believe that Malfoy's a Death Eater. The evidence is definitely there."

"Everytime I tell Hermione and Ron, they try to disprove it. I think they're annoyed with it, to be honest."

"You should tell Dumbledore Saturday when you see him. Dumbledore will back us up, won't he?"

Harry nodded. "I heard that you and Lupin got into a fight."

"Who told you that?"

"Snape. I heard him telling Dumbledore the other day." There was a long pause and then Harry said again, "How are you two?"

"Fine," I told him. "Fine. It's only been a few days, Harry."

"And you're happy?"

"I'm very happy," I replied and then I frowned, knowing what Harry was thinking. I didn't want to bring it up. Harry didn't want to bring it up either, or so it seemed. "Remus believes in me. He trusts me. He knows that we can defeat Voldemort."

Harry looked down at the blanket.

"I just – I want you to – Harry, you will always come first in my life. You always have and you always will. I love you, Harry."

It fell silent again. "I don't want him hurting you, Darcy! If he lays another finger on you, I'll –"

I shook my head. "Harry, I love him with all that I've got, just like I love you. But if you don't want us to be together, I don't know what I'd do. You do come first, Harry, but I just – I can't leave him. We've been through a lot already."

"I want you two to be together," Harry said. "I just don't want you getting distracted or him getting in the way when we've got a job to do. And you know very well what job that is."

"He won't get in the way, Harry, okay? And I won't get distracted."

"I trust you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How do you like Professor Slughorn?"

I was sitting in a chair across from Dumbledore's desk and his hands were folded in his lap, a cheery smile on his face. I looked right into his eyes and felt my emotions crumble. I was falling apart. "I don't."

"You don't like him?" Dumbledore asked, but he didn't sound upset. "Why?"

"He thinks I'm too young to be doing the things I do – even though I'm older than Harry. He doesn't think I can defeat Voldemort and I just – not a lot of people believe in me, you know?" I paused. "And whenever someone says something in class about Remus or me, he just lets it go on. He doesn't do anything."

Dumbledore frowned. "Darcy, I thought you were stronger than that."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. "I thought I was, too."

"Why are you worrying about what other people think? The most important thing is that _you_ believe in yourself. Lots of people do. Does Professor Slughorn's opinion of you really bother you that much?" Dumbledore asked and I shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "It shouldn't, Darcy. Don't let anything that man says bother you."

"Yes, sir."

Dumbledore nodded and then spoke again. "Professor Snape and I were having a conversation the other night. I heard that you spoke to him." I looked away, avoiding his piercing blue eyes. I knew if I looked into them, I'd break down. "He told me everything."

"Did he?" I asked unenthusiastically.

"I'm just curious as to why you confided in him? Why not Harry? Or Remus?" Dumbledore sat up straighter. "Professor Snape is the last person I would have expected you to confide in."

I was silent. I tried to come up with a good answer, but I couldn't, so I simply spoke the truth. "It just – it just came out! I was stressed and felt I needed to get everything off my chest and he's always there and he always listens, so I just thought –" I fell silent again and Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, as if acknowledging me to continue.

"Go on, Darcy."

"I trust him. He's not my brother and he's not my boyfriend. I wouldn't really consider him a friend – I don't think he'd consider me one, either – but he's definitely not my enemy. I mean, I think he trusts me, too. I've never really had someone like him in my life before and it's just a breath of fresh air to have someone to go to who'll listen and not give their advice or opinion," I hesitated and looked back up at Dumbledore. "I need someone like that all the time. I'm falling apart. I'm stressed out and just tired of everything, but I can't rest. I can't stop because I need to do this. I need to protect Harry and defeat Voldemort and… and…"

Dumbledore's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything about the last part I said. "You are under the impression that I made it Professor Snape's mission to look after you."

I nodded slowly, gripping the arms of the chair so tightly that my knuckles were white.

Dumbledore smiled and then chuckled. "You are a very bright woman, Darcy Potter," he told me. "But I have nothing to do with Professor Snape looking after you. I do believe he's genuinely worried about you."

I wanted to laugh in Dumbledore's face. After being in class with Snape for seven years and then spending all of the previous year with him, I knew it couldn't be true. He had never shown any signs of caring for me or worrying about me – did he? I was worried that perhaps I had overlooked them. If it was true, I felt horrible, simply because I had spent my whole life despising Snape.

"I think we're all a little worried about you," Dumbledore said quietly. "But Professor Snape is the only one who's willing to do something about it."


	7. Protection and Safety

**In honor of Deathly Hallows Part 2! I'm off to the theater!**

**PROTECTION AND SAFETY.**

I didn't tell anyone about what Dumbledore had told me. No one seemed to notice anything odd, so I thought I was doing a pretty good job hiding it. I didn't even tell Snape that I knew. I went on watching Slughorn teaching potions lessons and Malfoy even kept his snide comments to himself, or at the end of class, he'd whisper them to his friends as he passed me. They didn't bother me as much anymore.

Slughorn's attitude towards me was a lot kinder than it had been. He talked to me about my parents and Lupin and Sirius, about what he did when he was a student, and he even asked me once or twice to make some special potion for the next class. I didn't mind talking to him, but it seemed as if he had taken great interest in me because I was a Potter.

"Miss Potter," said Slughorn one day. "What are you doing next Saturday?"

"Well, I was going to go watch the Quidditch tryouts, sir," I replied quickly. "Why?"

"I'm having a dinner party," Slughorn smiled. "Miss Weasley will be there – oh, and Miss Granger! Your brother said he couldn't come, though… Shame…"

"Er –" Harry had detention with Snape that night.

"It's after the tryouts, so you'll be welcome to come! In fact, I hope you do!"

I sighed and nodded, but only for Hermione's sake.

Harry, on the other hand, was rather suspicious. He was suddenly the top student in his potions class, even better than Hermione. When I asked him about it, he simply said, "Been studying a lot."

I didn't drop it.

The Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts were next week. Hermione came with Lupin and I and we all sat in the stands, our scarves bundled around us tightly. A blanket was thrown over all three of us. Some other students were sitting in the stands, talking to Lupin about when he was coming back to teach or talking to me about the class that I had taught.

"I think there's something weird going on with Harry," I told Hermione as Lupin watched some first years fly around on their brooms.

"You mean with Potions?" Hermione asked, a bit annoyed. "I know. It's that stupid book he has."

"What book?"

"His potions book. The original owner wrote notes in it." Hermione scoffed and crossed her arms. "He should learn to do his own work. You'll tell Slughorn, won't you?"

"I, uh – am I supposed to?"

"You should! You're a teacher!" Hermione hissed. "Harry wouldn't like it much, but it's for the better."

"Oh, yeah," I lied. "I'll er – let him know. Oh, that reminds me, Hermione, I'm going to Slughorn's dinner party tonight."

"You are?" Hermione smiled and sounded relieved. I was a little surprised at the change of tone in her voice. "Thank goodness – I'm glad you're going. I really don't want to be there by myself."

"Isn't Ginny going?"

"Yes, but with you there – thank goodness…"

Ron, who was trying out for Keeper, flew in front of the furthest hoops and Cormac McLaggen, a strong, broad shouldered, blonde boy, flew up to the nearest hoops, across from Ron. Ginny grabbed the Quaffle and began shooting at Cormac. He caught one – two – three – he was awfully good.

"Come on, Ron," I muttered. I grabbed Lupin's hand and squeezed it tightly. To be honest, I felt a little awkward touching him in public, especially in front of Hermione, Ron, and Harry, but I was slowly getting used to it.

When Ginny shot the fifth one at Cormac, he suddenly swerved to the left and I narrowed my eyebrows. "Is he stupid or something?" Lupin asked and I chuckled. "The Quaffle wasn't even coming that way!" Lupin raised his eyebrows suspiciously at me and I shook my head.

"We didn't do anything!" I protested, but when Lupin looked away, Hermione looked at me with a knowing smile. I leaned over closer to Hermione and whispered, "I think it's against the rules to use magic during Quidditch games."

"Shh," Hermione smiled. "It's only tryouts."

I raised an eyebrow at Hermione and smiled back. Ginny shot down the Quidditch pitch, avoiding all the Chasers going after her and down to Ron's side of the field. She shot the Quaffle once, twice, three times, four times and then – Ron stuck out his leg and blocked the shot with his foot.

Hermione, Lupin and I clapped and cheered, but not as loud as the girl a few seats below us.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hermione and I arrived at Slughorn's party together and Slughorn stood when we walked in the door, smiling and insisting that I sit beside him. I glanced at Hermione and she shrugged, sitting on my other side.

"Miss Potter," he said happily. "Miss Granger. So glad you two could make it – honestly! Please, eat, eat!"

I awkwardly picked up my fork and began to pick at the salad in front of me. A Slytherin boy named Blaise Zabini sat across from me, Cormac McLaggen – who still looked frustrated from his Quidditch playing – sat next to Slughorn on his other side, Ginny was seated beside Hermione, Neville was next to Ginny, and another boy I knew called Belby was beside Neville. I leaned over Hermione and waved to Ginny and Neville.

"So, tell me, Miss Potter, how did you get your start as a potions intern?" Slughorn asked and I breathed in, thinking up a quick lie.

"Gotta love Professor Snape," I said quietly to Hermione and she smiled. "Since I couldn't become an Auror, I decided that I should do something else that I like and am good at, so I chose to pursue a career dealing with potions."

"Well, you're quite good at it," Slughorn assured me and I smiled weakly up at him. "Professor Snape told me you were quite good with antidotes as well."

I blushed. "Oh, well, I guess…"

"Well, hopefully you'll be an official professor here soon, yes?" Slughorn boomed, but no one seemed to be really listening to him. He had brought out dessert. "I wonder why Dumbledore hasn't already hired you – you'd be great!"

I glanced at Hermione and she looked up at me, frowning.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walked into my quarters at ten o'clock at night. Lupin was sitting on the couch. I kissed him on the top of the head and headed towards our room. He stopped me.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" he asked icily.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at him, raising one eyebrow. "What?"

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"Er – I love you?"

"Anything else? Anything you'd like to get off your chest?" he said again.

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "I don't understand what you're –"

Lupin stood up and marched up to me. I backed up to the door and my eyes widened. "You told _Snape_? You told _him_ everything and you couldn't even tell _me_?"

"I – I –"

"I'm your goddamn _boyfriend_, Darcy! You know you can confide in _me_!" Lupin stared at me and sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry," I breathed. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to talk to Snape."

"You've got _me_!"

I became angry instantly and pointed my finger at him, prodding his chest. "You listen to _me_, Remus Lupin," I snapped and he stumbled backwards a bit. "I've grown up all my life being the parent figure to Harry – I was the one making sure he was safe and I was the one protecting him. I've grown up with no one to protect _me_. Well, you know what? _Snape_ is protecting me. _Snape_ is the one who makes sure I'm safe. And just because you're – you're _jealous_ that I wasn't ranting to _you_ doesn't mean I'm going to stop talking to him!"

Lupin was looking at me with his mouth slightly open and he seemed to be having a hard time searching for words to say. "But I protect you, Darcy… I always – you being safe is the most important thing!"

"I don't confide in you all the time! Okay?" I shot back. "But it's because if I tell you how I feel or what I'm feeling, you try to give me advice or tell me that I'm being stupid or something like that! Do you know how much it hurts my feelings to have something think I'm immature and stupid? Snape won't do any of that! He sits and listens – maybe he doesn't eve listen – but the point is he doesn't have to put his two fucking cents in all the damn time!"

"I don't think you're stupid or immature!" Lupin shouted. "I just think you're a bit irrational sometimes!"

"Like that's any better!" I protested. I went to go into the bedroom, but Lupin grabbed my arms and I struggled to break free, but he was holding onto me too tightly. I finally stopped and looked up at him.

"Let me tell you why," he said quietly. "You think you've got to all this by yourself. You think you can, but you can't, Darcy. It's not you. Harry's been through just as much as you have and yes, you can protect him, but that's all you can do. Stop thinking you're the one – your brother is the one – he's got friends and people looking over him. You are not the only one." 

Tears were filling my eyes. "You don't know what it's like," I cried. "To have someone you love _so much_ have to do this." I looked up into Lupin's eyes and bit my bottom lip. "What if he doesn't make it? He's the only family I've got left and I can't lose him, Remus. I've got to protect him – you don't understand…"

"I do understand," Lupin argued, but his tone was gentler. "I understand completely." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body. "I love you. And I'll always protect you and I'll always make sure you're safe, Darcy."

My breathing started returning to normal and I looked up at him, pressing my lips to his and then to his jaw and then his neck. "I love you," I murmured against his skin and I wrapped my arms around his neck, dragging him into the bedroom with me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is there any reason that your chair is closer to mine today than it was yesterday?"

I glanced up at Snape, who had put his silverware down and was staring at how close I was sitting to him. I sat up and whispered, "I don't want to make conversation with Slughorn."

"Move over," he said firmly and I did so a little bit, turning my chair to face Snape slightly.

"Can you believe that he's having the sixth years make Everlasting Elixir?" I hissed to Snape, glancing at Slughorn, who was engaging in a happy conversation with Trelawney. "I didn't do that until seventh year and half the kids in the sixth year classes are idiots."

"Professor Dumbledore has asked me to make antidotes just in case – rather _when_ – the elixirs go wrong."

I sighed and leaned over the table, looking down at Lupin. He waved, looking back to McGonagall, to whom he was talking. I leaned back in my chair, still turning slightly towards Snape, and I found Harry in the crowd of Gryffindor students. I waved lazily at him and he waved back. "I could have done that," I muttered to myself, poking at my eggs. "Why didn't he just ask me?"

"Yes, Dumbledore must have forgotten how long you've taught at this school."

"Oh, aren't you just a riot." I rolled my eyes. "I would move away from you, but you know, I'd actually rather sit with you than Slughorn."

"How sweet."

I hummed a response, eating the rest of my food on my plate and drinking the rest of my pumpkin juice in one sip. "You know, after what happened last year when you downed your pumpkin juice, you ought to be more careful. _I_ especially wouldn't want another episode like last year."

"You're not the only one," I protested. "Besides, no one here would want to get me fired, so no one would put a love potion in my pumpkin juice. Besides –" I sniffed my goblet. "Smells like pumpkin juice to me."

Snape raised his eyebrows and looked away from me.

"I'd say two more years," I said hopefully. "Two more years and then maybe Dumbledore will let me teach Potions here. Or maybe he'd let me teach Defense Against the Dark Arts and you'd be demoted to Potions again." I snickered. "You _do_ know that if it came to the student body, I'd be the one teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on," I grinned. I could tell he was beginning to get angry and frustrated. "I'm a much nicer teacher than you are."

"Just because you're nicer than me doesn't mean anything. I taught you for seven years and you turned out fine."

"I might be the only one." I glanced at the Gryffindor table. "Neville Longbottom –"

"He's dreadful at Potions. I wouldn't trust him with a cauldron by himself."

"You know, he's doing a lot better with Slughorn as his professor," I snapped. "Slughorn isn't making fun of him all the time." I smirked. "It's not his fault he doesn't have the spectacular potions ability _I_ do."

"Quit being so arrogant, Miss Potter. You're just like –"

"My father," I finished for him. He fell silent. "I'm not, mind you. I'm nothing like my father."

I knew Snape wouldn't want me pitying him. I didn't know a single person that actually felt bad for him. I quickly looked away and began shoveling food into my mouth. I must have looked ridiculous. "It seems you've inherited your father's eating habits, as well."

I glared at him and rolled my eyes again, sitting up straight and taking smaller bites.


	8. The Accident

**WHOA OKAY SO HOW MUCH DID YOU ALL LOVE THE NEW MOVIE.** **I started crying in the very beginning when they first showed Hogwarts. I never really stopped. Several times, my brother had to tell me to cry quieter because I was sobbing. Sorry, Ben. I'm sorry for ruining the movie for you with my constant crying.**

**THE ACCIDENT.**

"Guess!"

I wrapped my arms around Lupin's and he looked at me. "Um," he thought. "You just had a fantastic conversation with Snape?"

I frowned. "Stop it." He raised his eyebrow and stuffed his free hand deep into his pocket. "Really, though, guess what we're doing next weekend?"

"Are you making plans for me now?" he asked.

I pulled away from him and sighed, crossing my arms. "Well, if you don't want to go –"

"I'm teasing, Darcy," he smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "What are we going to do next weekend?"

I looked at him and saw that he was still smiling. "Harry invited us to go to Hogsmeade with him, Ron, and Hermione next weekend. Do you want to go? Because if you don't, you don't have to –"

"That sounds great," Lupin smiled sweetly and I grabbed his hand from my waist, lacing our fingers together.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Alright," I sighed, rather relieved. "I've got to go. I'll see you when the day's over then, yeah?" We had stopped outside Slughorn's room and he kissed me. Malfoy pretended to vomit and I turned to him, a frown on my face. Malfoy walked inside and Lupin put his hand to my cheek, turning my face towards him and away from Malfoy.

"Don't let him get to you," Lupin told me. "He's just a stupid kid."

"But you have to remember his father nearly killed me last year," I whispered. "I don't think I'll ever like Malfoy because of that."

"Well, Lucius Malfoy is in Azkaban and he won't try to kill you again," Lupin assured me. "I'll see you when the day is done."

I nodded and kissed him again.

"You've got nothing to worry about."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Miss Potter, could you go around and check how their potions are coming?"

I stood up from Slughorn's desk and nodded, beginning at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Harry's was perfect and I glanced at the book he was using. He quickly hid it from view and Hermione looked at me, raising her eyebrows.

As I approached Malfoy's cauldron, I saw it was bubbling a bright green. "Draco, that's wrong. That's the worst one I've seen so far."

I went to walk away, but Malfoy hit his cauldron over and it spilled all over my right arm. I held up my arm, but it began to sting and burn and my skin was turning black and it began to bubble and burn. I cried out and Malfoy smirked.

Harry dropped his book on the ground and ran over to me. I felt tears well up in my eyes and Slughorn stared at my arm. Harry helped me up and we ran for the door, my arm bubbling and Malfoy cackling back in the room.

"Hurry, Madam Pomfrey will be able to –"

"No!" I screamed as I stared at my arm. Harry was holding my other arm, gently pulling me down the stairs. "S – S – Sn –"

"Snape," Harry said in a somewhat disgusting voice. "Got it." He took a detour and we headed towards Snape's classroom. Knowing that he didn't have a class first thing in the morning, Harry quickly glanced inside, and nearly kicked the door down. Snape looked up from his desk, hearing me screaming and crying. It felt as if acid had been poured on my arm and my skin was melting off. His face twisted as he looked at my arm. It was bubbling even worse and tears were streaming down my face.

Harry let go of my arm and Snape's fingers closed around my wrist, pulling me towards his desk. I sat down on top of it. I watched as Snape quickly dug around in his desk drawers in front of me. Finally, he found what he was looking for. I was still crying.

He held up a light blue liquid in a small, clear box and he took the lid off, soaked a towel in it and looked me in the eyes before pressing it to my arm.

I screamed out again and my hand instinctively went to his arm. I pushed him off me and began crying again.

"Hold still!" Snape told me and he grabbed my other arm, holding it so I wouldn't be able to push him away again. Quickly, he pressed the towel to my arm again and I bit down on my bottom lip, almost making it bleed. I kicked my legs and screamed and ended up kicking Snape's shins a little, but he hardly flinched. "Mr. Potter, return to class. Your sister needs to go to the hospital wing."

I sniffed, tears still streaming from my eyes and Snape kept the towel pressed to my arm.

"Come on," he said quietly. We walked outside into the corridor and Harry went the opposite way. The towel stung my arm, but it felt much better than it had. "This will keep the skin from melting and it'll return your skin back to its normal color – slowly, very slowly, but surely."

"It hurts."

"I'm sure it does," he muttered. "I really can't believe Dumbledore has Slughorn teaching these potions. The man is an oaf."

I smiled through tears and sniffed again.

As Snape brought me into the hospital wing, he lifted the towel from my arm and I could see that the potion he had provided me helped drastically. My skin stopped bubbling, but it was still black. Madam Pomfrey grabbed my arm and yanked me away from Snape's side, pushing me down into a bed.

She began dumping all sorts of liquids into a bowl and she soaked some wrappings in it, and then wrapped it around my arm as I yelled out and clutched the bed sheets. I closed my eyes. "STOP!" I shouted. "STOP, PLEASE!"

I ripped the wrappings off my arm and Madam Pomfrey shook her head firmly. "Miss Potter, if you want your skin to go back to normal, I _have_ to put this on your arm!"

My black skin was disgusting and I shook my head. The pain was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. Whatever Malfoy had poured on my arm was eating through my skin. I could feel it.

"Either I knock you out or Professor Snape and I hold you down. It's your choice."

I didn't want to give Malfoy the satisfaction. I wanted to return to class after getting my arm wrapped so I closed my eyes and held my arm out. I knew I should have been knocked out, but I was stupid. Madam Pomfrey soaked the bandages once again the potion. I felt Snape's hand hold my arm down, tightly pinned to the bed, so I couldn't move it.

As Madam Pomfrey wrapped my arm, I screamed and cried and I thought the veins in my neck were going to pop any second. She finished wrapping it and said, "Darcy, I'm going to give you a Sleeping Draught, okay? So you don't feel any pain – I know it hurts – I know."

I nodded, still crying, and the pressure from my arms suddenly went away and I knew that no one was holding me down. My body was visibly shaking.

"Professor Snape," Madam Pomfrey said to him. "She'll be fine here. Thank you for bringing her here. You make sure that whoever did this to her gets detentions for a year. Had she not been treated right away, she could have -" She cut off her sentence and looked at me. "It doesn't matter. It's just a good thing you got her here quickly."

Snape nodded, glanced at my arm, and then left swiftly. Madam Pomfrey grabbed a tissue and began dabbing at my cheeks and eyes, getting the tears off my face. I sniffed.

"I _will_ be telling the Headmaster about this. Who did it to you?"

"Draco Malfoy."

"On purpose?"

I nodded and she wiped my eyes again. She fetched me the box of tissues and she sat on my bed, stirring a few ingredients together to create a Sleeping Draught. "I saw him knock over his cauldron. He was laughing about it. But please – don't tell Dumbledore. I don't want Malfoy knowing that I acted so childish."

"Darcy, don't you understand what he could have done to you?" Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened. "What Draco Malfoy made was like acid. It would have melted your skin and if it reached your bones, it would eat away at your bones, too. Regrowing bones is painful enough, but to grow skin back as well? Darcy, it's not easy."

"It hurts."

"I know, I know," she frowned. "Here, drink this and you'll feel better. It'll just put you to sleep. But you're going to have to stay overnight here, okay? I want to make sure your skin gets better. It will take a long time, but I won't keep you here for more than two days."

I nodded and drank the potion. Almost instantly, I fell asleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My arm still hurt when I woke up. Madam Pomfrey must have given me more pillows, because instead of one, I was propped up against three of them. My right arm was throbbing and searing with pain, but nothing compared to what it was like before I fell asleep.

I looked to my left and saw the two people I wanted to see most. Lupin was sitting in a chair, sleeping, his legs propped up on the end of my bed; Harry was awake and looking down at his trainers. He looked up and smiled. "You're finally awake!" he said and Lupin woke up immediately and moved his chair closer to me, grabbing my left hand. "We've been here for two hours."

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Nearly eleven," Harry replied. "That reminds me, I've got to go get Madam Pomfrey. She says she has to change your bandages." He stood up and walked over to her office.

Lupin didn't smile at me. "I wish you would have gotten me right away," he said softly. "I wish I could have helped you."

"I had plenty of help," I replied with a small smile. "Besides, you're here now and that's perfectly fine with me." I gave his hand a squeeze.

"Tomorrow's the full moon," he reminded me and I frowned, gasping. "Don't worry – Snape has given me the Wolfsbane."

"Good thing he remembered," I sighed heavily. "Where exactly -?"

"Well," Lupin said. "There's a few options. I wanted to ask you just in case you were uncomfortable with one of my choices."

"Oh, well, go ahead."

"I could transform in an empty classroom that Dumbledore let me use," he said and I nodded, seeing nothing wrong with that. "I could go out to the Shrieking Shack, but as it gets colder, I don't think I'd want to be out there. And there's another one…"

"Where, Remus? Just tell me."

"I could transform in our room." I contemplated it. "I mean, you could just lock yourself in the bedroom just in case that something goes wrong –"

"Nothing will go wrong," I assured him. "Professor Snape helped me brew that Wolfsbane and he said it was good. He made sure I made it right."

"But there's the tiny chance that I could –"

"Trust me," I smiled.

"I just don't want you to have matching scars on both your shoulders," he said and I shook my head. Harry returned with Madam Pomfrey and she began to unwrap my arm. All four of us gave disgusted looks as my arm was revealed.

The skin that had been burnt was blackish and blistery, all around it, the skin was yellow and wax-like. The cool air hit my arm and I flinched. "Remus, you might want to hold her hand for this," Madam Pomfrey warned him and he raised an eyebrow. "Professor Snape had to hold her arm down last time so she wouldn't rip the wrappings from my hands."

Lupin's eyes met mine and I knew what he was thinking. I wished that he would avoid talking about Snape, because honestly, I didn't want to talk about him at all.

"Ready, sweetheart?" Madam Pomfrey said and she dipped the wrappings in the liquid. I nodded and she began to wrap my arm as fast as she could. I closed my eyes and kicked my legs out once, crying out in pain. I squeezed Lupin's hand as hard as I could and then – "Okay, all done." My arm still hurt. "Do you want some more of that Sleeping Draught? It'll put you right to sleep."

"N – no," I faltered. I wanted to stay up and talk to Lupin and Harry. "I think I can manage for a few minutes."

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "Call me if you need me, Miss Potter."

"I heard Professor Snape told Dumbledore," Harry said quietly. "Apparently, Dumbledore was really mad."

Lupin nodded his head. "Yeah, I heard Snape gave Malfoy a week of detention, but Dumbledore made it a month."

"And what did Malfoy say?" I asked them both.

Harry and Lupin shrugged.

"It hurt really bad," I sighed, trying to ignore the pain. "I would have given him detention myself, but I haven't seen him since then."

"I would have expelled him," Lupin said angrily, still holding my hand. "The students should treat you like a professor and I bet you anything if Malfoy did that to Slughorn, he'd be expelled right away."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Madam Pomfrey says my skin will heal very slowly, but it will definitely heal, even if it does hurt like a bitch. It hurt even more when it first happened. I was screaming at her to stop."

"I'll kill him," Harry told me and I smiled feebly. "Next time I'm alone with him, I'll kill him."

"Or next time we're in Potions, I'll make sure Slughorn checks Malfoy's cauldron," I sighed, leaning back into my pillows and closing my eyes. My arm was still throbbing and I wished that it would stop. "I think I'm going to ask for that Sleeping Draught soon. It's really hurting."

"I bet. That looked like something was eating your arm," Lupin said worriedly.

"I'll be okay soon," I told him.

"Harry, do you mind if I talk to her alone for a moment?" Lupin suddenly asked and Harry shook his head, standing up and placing a swift kiss on the top of my head.

"Get better," he said and he strutted towards the doors.

"I think I'm just going to go out to the Shrieking Shack," Lupin told me. "It's where I've always transformed."

"Why not just do it in our room?"

Lupin paused and looked away. "I don't want you to see me like that."

I frowned. "I love you," I said. "I love you for everything that you are. _Everything_, Remus. And if that means once a month you aren't as handsome as you usually are – who cares? I don't. I just want to be with you when you transform."

"Why?"

"It's important to me. You're always taking care of me and I like taking care of you, too."

He smiled. "I like being taken care of. It's nice to know that someone in this world actually wants to take care of me." Lupin kissed my hand. "I especially like that it's you."


	9. Caretakers

**I am sooooo sorry for the long wait, but I've been having problems with friends and family. Emotional breakdowns – the usual. But on top of all that, I have softball tournaments and I'll be in New York for a week soon and then Florida after that. And guess where my aunt is taking me? WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER! But anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was going to write another one because I have a good chapter plot in my head, but I'm extremely overtired and shouldn't push it. I have to go to bed before I pass out of exhaustion.**

**CARETAKERS.**

When I woke up the next morning, Madam Pomfrey informed the Headmaster. Within minutes, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn, Snape, Harry, and Lupin were all standing around my bed. "How is it, dear?" Madam Pomfrey asked and I looked down at the now dry bandages wrapped around my arm.

I shrugged. Lupin looked terrible. That night was the full moon. His face was pale and there were bags under his eyes. His back was hunched over as he smiled weakly at me.

Lupin conjured two chairs for him and Harry. They both sat down at my bedside. "I've got to change it again, Darcy," she said quietly and she brought out the big bucket again with fresh bandages. "It'll sting a little less today now that it's a bit more healed up."

I nodded, bracing myself. She unwrapped my bandages and McGonagall gasped at my arm. The skin looked burnt and blackened, almost like Dumbledore's hand, but it was more eaten away at. "Poppy, hold on a moment," Dumbledore said, holding his healthy hand up. Madam Pomfrey waited with the bandages soaking in the liquid on the bedside table. I was a bit disgusted by it, too.

The four teachers huddled around my bed, maneuvering around Harry and Lupin. Slughorn was looking at my arm with a sad look. "Miss Potter, I – I didn't know he'd – I had no idea he would –"

"No, it's okay," I replied and Slughorn sighed heavily.

"Horace," Dumbledore told him seriously. "I think you should keep an eye on your students next time – and an eye on Miss Potter."

"Yes… yes."

"It was lucky you made those antidotes, Severus," Dumbledore said again. "Although I didn't expect something this severe."

Snape nodded.

"Don't you worry, Darcy, we have the situation under control," Dumbledore smiled at me. "I assure you, this is not happen again. And Madam Pomfrey tells me you will make a full recovery, but it will take a while."

"May I change her bandages now?" Madam Pomfrey asked, a little exhausted sounding. Dumbledore nodded and they all stood there. I felt embarrassed an uncomfortable. "Mr. Lupin, if you could, er –"

Lupin nodded and squeezed my hand tightly. I closed my eyes, bit my lip and then –

Pain overwhelmed me and I wanted to scream, but since there were so many people there, I didn't want to embarrass myself even further. I let out a small cry and a whimper, as Madam Pomfrey tied the bandages around my arm. It hurt much less than before and as the pain slowly subsided, I calmed down. Lupin's finger caressed my hand I looked at everyone standing before me. Professor McGonagall patted my shoulder before leaving and the others trailed out after her.

Lupin nodded to me and kissed my cheek, getting up and leaving Harry and I alone.

"That's gross," Harry said and we both laughed.

"Yeah, it is." I sighed. "Think it'll leave a scar?"

"Don't you think you've got enough of those?" he asked seriously.

I shrugged. "There's room on my body for more."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That night, Lupin had gone out to the Shrieking Shack to transform, despite my pleading for him to stay. I was still in the hospital wing; Madam Pomfrey insisted on keeping me one more night. I sighed and agreed. The window behind my bed gave me a clear view of the Forbidden Forest and I wondered how Lupin was holding up.

When I woke up, a black form to my left made me jump. When I saw Snape sitting there, looking awfully bored, I screamed. Madam Pomfrey poked her head out of her quarters, but then decided it was nothing.

"Were you watching me sleep?" I yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"Lupin sent me," he replied flatly.

I sat up quickly, clutching the blankets around me tightly. "What? Why? Why'd he send _you_? What's going on? Is something wrong with him? Did he –"

"Are you done?" he asked and I quieted down. "Last night, he forgot to take his Wolfsbane and –"

I gasped, bringing my hands to my mouth. "You ass! You didn't give it to him!"

"Be quiet!" he hissed. "I gave him a full week's supply of it and he simply forgot to take it. It is not _my_ fault. I don't know why you insist on blaming _me_ for everything."

"So – so why'd he send you?" I asked nervously.

"He wants you to spend another night here," replied Snape.

"Doesn't he want me to take care of him?"

Snape sat there quietly.

I rolled over so my back was facing him. "Go."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I entered my quarters the next afternoon to find Lupin in bed sleeping. I sighed and sat down beside him, stroking his sweaty hair gently and noticing several new scratches on his face. His eyes fluttered open and he glanced up at me and then closed his eyes again. I continued to stroke his hair.

"Severus told you?" he rasped.

"Yes."

"Please go." He breathed in through his nose deeply. "I don't want you to see me like this." He pulled the blankets up to his chin and I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt. There was a long scratch on his left shoulder. I pushed his damp hair out of his eyes and ran my fingers through his hair slowly.

"It's not the first time I've seen you like this," I replied softly. "Don't you want me to take care of you? I want to help you, Remus, so let me."

Lupin didn't protest, so I kissed his temple and retreated out of the bedroom to make him some tea. I tapped my wand twice against the black kettle and immediately, the water began to boil inside it. I poured the water into a mug, placed a teabag in the water and waited for it to cool. Since Lupin was sensitive, I knew that if the tea was too hot, he would have had a fit.

I brought it back to him and as I entered the room, he sat up, smelling it and smiling weakly. He was propped up against three fluffy pillows and I handed him the steaming tea, sitting down beside him.

"How's your arm?" Lupin asked quietly.

"Fine," I told him honestly, glancing at it. "Madam Pomfrey switched out the bandages again before I left. Said that Snape would brew some more of the potion. He'll give it to me and then I can change my own bandages."

"Can I?"

"Can you what? Change my bandages?" I chuckled lightly.

Lupin nodded.

"Why on Earth would you want to do that?"

"Because I want to take care of you," he admitted softly and I smiled. "You're mine, Darcy. I've got to take care of you."

It was at that moment that I realized I _was_ Lupin's. Before, I never would have allowed myself to belong to anyone, not even Harry, but somehow, things were suddenly different. Lupin had opened me up, showed me a world and showed me things that I didn't know existed. He had proved to not only myself, but to everyone around us, that I was a real human being with feelings and that I wasn't just the cold, angry person everyone thought. He was the first person that ever really loved me – the first person who could really protect and take care of me and love me. Harry, as much as he cared for me, could not care for me in the way that Lupin did and vice versa.

"Let me see it," Lupin whispered, putting his teacup on the bedside table. I held out my arm and Lupin held it gently, pressing his lips to the skin around the injury that was not bandaged up. I blushed. "Is it feeling better?"

I nodded. "Much better."

With surprising strength, Lupin wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on top of him, the blanket separating our bodies from actually touching.

He kissed my lips gently and softly, over and over again. "Are you alright?" I asked, pulling away for a brief moment. "I don't want you to get sorer than you already are."

He smirked and raised his eyebrows. "You're concerned about _me_ getting sore?" he teased and I felt my face flush a deep red.

I sat up, straddling his waist and smiled down at him. "Are you sure?" I asked him, running my finger down his chest. I could feel his body tense up, his excitement pressing against the inside of my thigh. "I'm not too sure I'm in the mood tonight…"

Lupin closed his eyes and grabbed my hips tightly. "Come on, Darcy," he growled and I felt immediately aroused by his dominance. "You know I'm sensitive after a full moon."

I licked my lips and smirked as he opened his eyes again. The dominant side of Lupin was one that I rarely ever saw. "But it's just so fun to tease you," I grinned, my lips grazing his cheek. I put my lips close to his ear. All the while, his body was getting tenser and Lupin's hands were holding me down, stuck straddling him. His shifted slightly beneath me. I was having too much fun.

I trailed my finger down his chest again, lower and lower until my finger reached where the sheet that was covering him stopped – right above his waist. I pulled my finger away and suddenly, without warning, he flipped me over so he was on top of me. The sheet was tangled around his waist and I was grinning up at him. He grabbed my hands and laced our fingers together, holding them down against the bed. "What are you doing?" he asked me quietly.

"Having fun," I answered. "I have to say, I kind of like this side of you –"

Lupin's lips were on mine again and then he let go of my hands, unbuttoning my shirt from top to bottom and then throwing it to the ground with haste. I was giggling as his lips captured mine in bruising kisses, grinding his hips unexpectedly against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, digging my nails into his shoulder blades, my toes curling. I ignored the searing pain in my arm – nothing was going to stop this from happening.

Lupin placed a trail of kisses down my stomach and stopped at my pant line, unbuttoning my jeans and then tossing them to the side. Where he had gotten this energy was beyond me, but I wasn't going to complain anytime soon. With unusual speed and desire, he nearly ripped my bra off me and slid his hands down my hips and he tore my underwear off, grinning slyly as he dropped them to the ground, falling on top of my bra.

And then, he entered. I drew a deep breath and gasped, wrapping my legs around his waist, feeling the pain that getting less and less each time. I heard him groan as my nails scratched his back and drew blood. He kissed me again and I smiled into the kiss.

Our bodies were one; there was no space between either of us and it was flesh on flesh, sweat glistening on our skin, our hands roaming all around, trying to become familiar with every inch of each other's body. I cried out loudly and Lupin chuckled, shushing me with a smile, all while kissing me.

It was nearly nightfall when both of us finally collapsed beside each other, our bodies drenched with sweat, too tired to move. The feast must have been almost over. We had spent about three hours in bed. I rolled over on my side and propped myself up on my left elbow, keeping my right arm on a pillow, trying not to move it and injure myself further.

I placed my lips to Lupin's cheek and he closed his eyes, breathing heavily, as if he had just run a marathon. He opened one eye and looked at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to him. I nestled my head in the crook of his arm and he brushed my sweaty hair off my forehead and out of my eyes.

"I love you," I whispered. "And no one else."

Lupin kissed the top of my head and spoke, "I love you, too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where were you at the feast last night?" Snape asked me as he handed me the potion. He wouldn't let go and I tried to pull it from him, but he held on.

"I was –" I hesitated and Snape gave me a knowing, yet disappointed look. I don't think he had to read my mind to know what I was doing, but I lied anyway. "Flying."

"You were flying?"

"Yes…"

Snape let go of the potion and I stumbled backwards, thanking him under my breath. "I have seen you fly, Miss Potter," Snape scoffed. "If you were indeed flying, then you would be suffering more injuries."

"I've gotten better," I replied quickly.

"Yes, well," Snape looked disgusted with me. "Do not miss a feast again – especially for something so… _personal_."

"Did Slughorn say anything?"

"Simply wondered where you had wandered off to, that's all. If he didn't love you so much…" Snape rolled his eyes. I blushed and looked at my feet.

"It's none of _your_ business what I do with _my_ boyfriend," I told him sternly and Snape smirked, raising an amused eyebrow.

"But I don't think Dumbledore would have any of _that_ going on in Hogwarts. After all, this is a _school_."

"You wouldn't tell Dumbledore," I challenged him. "That's disgusting and gross – it's my private life! You can't be invading it, you know. Don't you have better things to do than harass me and my brother?"

"I could harass Longbottom if you wish –"

"Don't!" I argued, but I knew that my protest wouldn't stop Snape from making fun of Neville Longbottom. "He's a perfectly fine young man and a good student. You scare him is all. You scare a lot of people –" I looked Snape over and realized that no matter what I said, there was no changing that man. "You know what, nevermind."


	10. Hogsmeade

**Hey! A new chapter finally… I've barely updated lately. I don't really think these last two chapters are **_**good**_**, but at least I've updated! This chapter and this story is really a mix between book and movie, so that's why some of this isn't exactly accurate. Anyway, please enjoy!**

**HOGSMEADE.**

Lupin and I couldn't join Harry, Ron, and Hermione to their trip to Hogsmeade because of my arm and his illness after the full moon. Although the next Hogsmeade trip wasn't for another three weeks, we agreed to join them then, instead. Hogwarts had been boring – Slughorn hardly allowed me to get near the cauldrons anymore, in fear of having someone almost take off my arm again.

My arm was healing well. Snape continued to make the potion – I trusted him with it much more than I trusted Slughorn – and while the skin was still eaten away at, it seemed healthier and the skin had healed. It hardly hurt anymore and I didn't have to put a bandage over it anymore – just hold a soaking towel to it for fifteen minutes after dipping it in the potion.

"Let's go!" I said excitedly, grabbing my coat and wrapping it around me. Lupin was still lying in bed. "Harry, Hermione, and Ron are meeting us here! Hurry up!"

I threw some clothes at him and he groaned, rolling out of bed and getting dressed. He glanced out the window. "But it's snowing! It'll be really cold!" We opened the door to our quarters and the three were already standing there, waiting for us. Hermione smiled as we began to walk down to the entrance hall and out the front doors. Lupin grabbed my hand. "Remember what happened the first year we met, when it was snowing and we went out for a walk together?"

I thought for a moment and then remembered. "I don't remember, actually," I smirked. "Care to remind me?"

"You kissed me, Darcy," he replied, his cheeks a bit pink.

We exited the castle and began the trek to Hogsmeade, which was taking a shorter amount of time than usual, or so I thought. "Oh yeah," I grinned. "And you kissed me back."

"And then we slept in the same bed together for the first time."

"You were so warm."

"You were always so nervous that you were shaking –"

"Can you guys _shut up_?" Harry fake gagged and I frowned at him, gripping Lupin's hand tighter as we entered the snowy streets of Hogsmeade. The wind was harsh and I pulled my scarf up to cover more of my face. I inched closer to Lupin, who pulled his hat down and tightened his scarf. "You guys act like you're thirteen years old and let me remind you that you're not anymore."

I gave Harry and dreamy look.

"You two haven't even been here and together again for that long and all you two do is spend time cooped up together in your room," he gagged again. "I mean, is there anywhere you _haven't_ done it?"

Ron stifled a chuckle and Hermione glared at Harry, as if he was saying too much. I simply shrugged, joking with Harry.

"I mean _really_, what's next?" Harry rolled his eyes. "I suppose you'll want to do it in Snape's office!"

Lupin and I smirked at each other and all three of the kids nearly choked. "We're joking!" I laughed and Harry looked at me suspiciously. "And we don't spend all day cooped up in our room together because look – we're out here right now! And I have a job to do, you know. It's not all fun and games."

"You two are disgusting," Harry muttered and he rolled his eyes. I ruffled his hair.

"Come on guys, let's go get a butterbeer," I shivered. "I'm freezing." We all walked into the Three Broomsticks and found a booth. I smiled at Lupin, who was taking off his hat. I lowered my scarf from my mouth. The barmaid walked over and I began to speak, but Lupin cut me off.

"Five butterbeers, please," he said politely.

As the lady walked away, I beamed at him. "You ordered for all of us?" I sighed happily. "That's so sweet."

"You'll never guess what happened last night," Harry said suddenly.

I raised an eyebrow as our drinks were placed in front of us.

"I'll tell them!" Ron exclaimed and I looked to him instead. "Last night, I was sleeping right? And then there was a flash of light and suddenly, I was dangling from my ankle in midair! And then there was another flash of light and I was on my bed again!"

No one was laughing but Ron. "You found it in that potions book, didn't you?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, I – wait, who – _Hermione_!"

"She deserves to know, Harry!" Hermione protested. "She's your sister! Besides, maybe Remus could help find out who –"

"It doesn't matter," Harry replied.

"Yes, it does, Harry," I said firmly. "Dangling someone by the ankle? Our father used that spell, remember?" No one asked how I knew, but Lupin definitely already was aware of it. "That's not funny."

"It was just a laugh," Harry sighed, defeated.

"It's not! You had no idea what that spell was and you just used it on your best friend!" I hissed. "I don't think you should begin to perform spells that you just see randomly handwritten in your potions book! I think you should get a new book. Whose book was it?"

"The Half-Blood Prince," Hermione told me and I gave her a confused look.

"Excuse me?"

"That's what the book said. It's property of the Half-Blood Prince," she repeated. "Remus, do you have any idea who it could be?"

"I've never heard of anyone being called the Half-Blood Prince," Lupin said, shaking his head and shrugging. "There aren't any princes in the Wizarding world."

Lupin smiled proudly. "Remember when you were a student and –"

"Enough!" Ron held out his hands and shook his head, stopping Lupin from continuing. "No one wants to hear about your sexual encounters! She's like my sister and I –"

"Speaking of sisters," I looked past Ron at a table in the back corner of the shop. "Isn't that Ginny and her boyfriend? What's his name? Oh – Dean Thomas?"

Everyone turned their attention to where Ginny was sitting with Dean. "Bloody hell," Ron muttered.

"Relax, Ron," I laughed. "They're only holding hands."

"And snogging!" Ron protested. "I'd like to leave."

"You can't be serious," Hermione grinned.

"What?" Ron leaned back in his seat beside Harry, crossing his arms. "That happens to be my sister!"

"So?" Hermione shrugged with a smile. "What if she looked up and saw you and me snogging? Would you expect her to just get up and leave?"

Lupin, Harry, and I exchanged glances, raising our eyebrows and smiling slightly at the comment Hermione had just made. Hermione was about to continue when we heard a loud voice from behind.

"Harry, m'boy! And Miss Darcy Potter!"

We all turned to see Slughorn walking towards us. I held back a sigh and looked at Lupin. His face was blank. "Hello," Harry replied, but he didn't seem pleased at all to see the Potions master walking towards our table.

"That's three of my dinners you've missed!" he scolded Harry. "And two for you, Darcy – although I can't really blame you, you've been in the hospital wing!" He placed a large hand on my shoulder and I quickly began to sip at my butterbeer. Lupin looked up at Slughorn and grabbed my hand underneath the table. "It won't do! I'm determined to have you both! Miss Granger loves them, don't you?"

"Oh, yes," she spluttered. "They're really –"

"So why don't you come along, Harry?" Slughorn almost begged.

"I've had Quidditch practice, sir," Harry said quickly. I looked at my brother. I knew that he had been planning practices during the dinners. I smiled knowingly at him while Slughorn wasn't looking.

"Well, how about Monday?" Slughorn asked.

"I've got a lesson with Dumbledore," Harry said and I raised an eyebrow.

"Unlucky again!" Slughorn cried and then he looked to me. "What about you Darcy? Are you free?"

"No," I said slowly, trying to think up a lie. "I've got…. nonverbal spell practice with Snape."

Slughorn seemed upset and I celebrated in my head. He had actually believed my terrible lie? I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling. "Ah well," Slughorn said. "You two can't evade me forever!"

As he walked away, Lupin looked at me. "It _had_ to be Snape, didn't it?" he asked and everyone fell quiet. Harry, Hermione, and Ron looked at us.

"It was the first thing that came to my head!"

"Snape was the first thing that came to your head?"

"No! I don't even think – just – I don't even spend time with Snape!" I protested.

"I can't believe you got out of another one!" Hermione said, obviously trying to change the subject. Lupin and I looked at her. She was glancing at both me and Harry. "They aren't _that_ bad, you know!"

The rest of the time in the Three Broomsticks, we were all quiet. We drank our butterbeers quickly and when Harry had finished and paid for all of us, we left the pub rather quickly. I put my scarf back on, my cheeks already numb from the harsh snow and wind. Lupin was pulling his hat back on and between Hermione's hat and scarf, the only things visible were her eyes and nose, which was almost as red as Ron's hair.

As we headed back up towards the castle, I became aware that there were voices getting closer and closer and louder and louder. "It's nothing to do with you, Leanne!"

Two girls were arguing and as we rounded the corner, we froze. Katie Bell, a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch and her friend, Leanne. Just as we were about to continue, Leanne tried to grab the package that Katie was holding from her hands, but Katie tugged it back and then it fell to the ground.

And then, Katie rose into the air, her arms and legs spread and straight out. Her hair was blowing around her face and her eyes were closed. Her face was blank. Leanne had backed away, backing right into Lupin and she jumped, looking to see the five of us behind her, staring at Katie, who was suspended in midair.

Katie let out a horrible, loud, piercing scream. I gasped and her eyes opened and she looked like she was in terrible pain. But she wouldn't stop – she kept screaming and screaming and then Leanne began to scream, too, and she reached up to grab Katie's ankles, trying to bring her back down to the ground. The five of us rushed forward to help her, but as Harry reached up for her other ankle, Katie fell, landing on top of us. I tried to hold her still, but she was twitching and writhing. She screamed and screamed some more and Harry tried to let her know it was only him, but she didn't seem to recognize him.

Lupin stood up and seemed like the calmest out of everyone. "We've got to get her back up to the castle, quickly," he said and he lifted Katie into his arms as she screamed and thrashed against him.

I avoided looking into Lupin's eyes as the six of us now stood there now. My heart was pounding. I glanced around at the ground and saw that the package was only a few feet from me. I was still lying on the ground and I crawled over to the brown paper package. Inside, I saw a necklace, an opal one.

I reached out for it, but someone grabbed my arm and when I looked back, I saw that Harry had yanked me away from the necklace. "_Don't touch it_!"

"Come on, let's go up to the castle," Lupin announced.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After bringing Katie to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey immediately contacted Healers and she was taken away to St. Mungo's. We then went to McGonagall's office, where I, holding the necklace only by the wrappings around it, placed it on her desk.

McGonagall had called Snape in, who pushed past me and examined the necklace, holding it up in the air, pointing his wand directly at it. I stepped back by Lupin and Harry. McGonagall turned to Leanne. "You sure Katie did not have this in her possession when she entered the Three Broomsticks?"

"It's like I said," Leanne cried. "She left to go to the loo, and when she came back, she had the package. She said that it was important that she deliver it."

"Did she say to whom?"

"Professor Dumbledore."

McGonagall held her breath for a moment and then sighed, nodding her head. "Very well, Leanne, you may go." She then turned to Snape. I frowned, knowing that she could have had Lupin examine it as well – after all, he had been a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. "Severus? What do you think?"

"I think Miss Bell is lucky to be alive," Snape responded slowly.

"She was cursed, wasn't she?" I asked and I looked at Harry. We were both thinking exactly the same thing.

"I know Katie," Harry continued. "Off the Quidditch pitch, she wouldn't hurt a fly. If she was delivering that to Professor Dumbledore, she wasn't doing it knowingly."

"Yes, she was cursed," McGonagall answered. Snape put the necklace back on the desk and turned to the five of us.

"It was Malfoy," Harry and I said together and we looked at each other again. Snape narrowed his eyes, staring more at Harry than me, and McGonagall looked shocked. Hermione, Lupin, and Ron looked awfully uncomfortable, shifting their weight awkwardly.

McGonagall stared at the both of us. "That is a very serious accusation."

"Indeed," Snape strode up to me and then to Harry, looking down at him. "Your evidence?" Again, he glanced at me and Lupin gave him a nasty look.

Harry replied, looking to me for help. "I – I just know."

"You just know?" Snape raised his eyebrows. "You hear that, Miss Potter? He just knows. Aren't you getting astonished with your gifts, Potter? How grand it must be to be the Chosen One." Snape took one step to the left and stood in front of me. I avoided his eyes, hoping he wouldn't read my mind.

Everyone was quiet. "I'll escort them back to their dormitories, Minerva," Lupin said, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Snape. "Let's go, guys."


	11. Snarcy

**Sorry for the long wait again! I was just on vacation in New York and in four days, I'll be in Florida with my aunt! So another week without a new chapter. I'll have to update as much as I can in four days. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, though! **

**By the way, you like my chapter name? SNARCY. It's like, supposed to be Darcy and Snape… I thought it was better than Drape.. that was my first choice…**

**SNARCY. **

"I don't like the way he looks at you," Lupin said that night. I rolled over in bed to look at him. He was standing in front of the window, looking out it into the dark. "Severus."

"What?" I chuckled. "He looks at me the same way he looks at Harry and the others. With disgust."

"No," Lupin said again and he turned to face me. He began to strip, taking his shirt off and changing into some pajamas. "He doesn't look at you with disgust."

"I think I would know if he was looking at me differently. I'm with him a bit more than you."

"That's the problem."

"Remus, look at me," I raised my eyebrows and his eyes met mine. "I have no romantic feelings for Snape whatsoever and if you ask him, he'd tell you the same thing about me." It was the truth. "Now, come on, let's go to bed."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I don't like teaching," I said suddenly, wanting to scrap the lesson plans in front of me. Slughorn had told me I could write them for the next week.

"Why's that?" Snape said in a very bored voice, not looking up from his book.

"I don't like dealing with all the kids."

"Because you're young," he replied, flipping a page casually. "Half the students don't think of you as a professor."

"Well, I don't like it. I enjoy Potions, but I don't think I'd want to be a professor of any sort." I scribbled some ingredients on the parchment in front of me. "I hate writing lesson plans. Absolutely hate it."

"What about becoming an Auror?"

I looked up at him and sighed. I was honestly surprised – Snape usually never held a conversation with me. He had barely talked to me since the start of that year, although he had let me talk to him quite a bit. And whenever he did talk to me, it was just him scolding me, snapping at me, or rushing me to the hospital wing. "I don't think the Ministry would take me, even if there is a different Minister."

"Don't be so quick to judge."

"Judge who? The Ministry? Scrimgeour? I've read articles about him and Mr. Weasley has told me enough about him. I don't like him at all. He's only interested in me and my brother for fame. For – for _reassurance_."

"Slughorn seems only to be interested in that, as well."

"You think I haven't noticed?" I scrunched my nose. "It's another reason I don't like him. I went to one of the Slug Club dinners with Hermione and it was full of people who were most likely going to get somewhere in life, had good connections, or are brilliant at Potions. Lots of kids of people who work at the Ministry." I stared at Snape, who still hadn't looked up once from his book. "Were you in the Slug Club?"

Snape was quiet for a moment. "Yes."

"Was my mother?"

Snape nodded slowly.

"I was just wondering. He goes on and on about her. Always talking about how much I look like her and how much I act like her. He doesn't need to be telling me. I've spent twenty years of my life hearing it." I looked back down and scratched out a few things. "I got new Potions ingredients for my birthday. Harry, Hermione, and Ron got them for me."

"At least it's not me they're stealing from anymore." I scratched my head with the feather end of my quill and took the parchment in my hands, crumpling it up and throwing it at the wastebasket that was beside Snape's desk. The paper hit the rim and then bounced in.

"Give it a rest. Harry has never stolen ingredients from you," I rolled my eyes. "Can you make lesson plans for me?" I asked, leaning back in my chair. I balanced it on two legs.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I've got things to do."

"You're not doing anything now."

"I'm reading."

"But you can read later."

"Stop arguing with me, Darcy," he snapped. "I'm not writing your lesson plans."

I rubbed my eyes with my hands. I stared at him, but he refused to look up. "Please," I begged.

"No," he said again, colder than before.

I groaned and gathered up my papers. "Well, I better get going, then. I'm sure Slughorn will have backup lesson plans –"

"Darcy? Are you in here?"

Snape and I looked towards the door and saw Hermione poke her head in. Snape sneered and looked back down at his book. Hermione skipped up to me, completely ignoring Snape, and she looked at all the papers crammed in my arms. She took the quills and ink from me and I thanked her. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"I was at – you know, let's go somewhere else and talk."

I nodded. The two of us walked quickly past Snape's desk and out the door, still carrying my things. "What's going on?"

"Slughorn's Christmas party in two days," Hermione said and I sighed. "He's expecting you to come, you know. There's no way you can avoid this one."

I groaned. "Who're you taking?"

Her cheeks turned a light pink. "Oh, me? Well – I was going – you know, to ask Ron. Because Harry's already going… Ron – I don't want him to feel left out."

I shot her a suspicious glance, but she didn't look at me as we began to climb the moving staircase.

"I assume you'll be taking Remus?"

"Yeah," I replied. "I think he expects I'm going to take Snape, though."

"What?"

"Convinced that we're in love with each other, I'm sure. I don't know how he's so paranoid," I rolled my eyes and shrugged. Hermione and I approached the door to my quarters. She handed me the quills and ink and I thanked her once again. "I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, yeah?"

Hermione nodded and I entered my quarters. As soon as I shut the door behind me, Lupin spoke and I jumped, seeing him sitting on the couch with a newspaper in his hand.

"You were with Snape again, weren't you?"

I cursed under my breath and I stepped forwards towards our bedroom, but Lupin stood up, right in front of me. "He was helping me with my lesson plans," I said quickly. "Look, I know what you're going to say. I don't need to hear it right now – I'm not in the mood to be lectured like a child."

"What am I going to say?"

"That you don't like him and you don't like when I'm with him and you think that we're in love and blah, blah, blah," I narrowed my eyes at him. "I told you, though; I'm not in the mood so save it. If we keep arguing, it'll blow up ten times worse. Can we please just skip to the makeup sex?"

I looked to my left and spotted the small, round table in the corner. I stepped over to it and placed all my papers and utensils down, but Lupin kept his eyes on me. When I met his gaze, he spoke. "You think you know me pretty well, do you?"

I scoffed. "Anyone who knows you at all knows that you hate Snape and you hate when I'm with him. I don't have to know you well at all to know _that_. Besides, you tell me all the time what you think of him." I tried to push past him, but he grabbed my wrists. "You let go of me, Remus Lupin."

"No."

"You can't keep me here forever. You'll have to let go of me eventually."

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"What's wrong with _you_?" I snapped. "Look at you. You're questioning me like I've been gone for days on end, speaking to me like a child, like _your_ child. You sound like you've gone mad – do you really believe that Snape and I shag each other senseless when we're together? Is that was you think?"

"I want to know what you talk about."

"Why?" I asked, pulling my wrists out of Lupin's grip. I was beginning to get worried. I wasn't used to him being so aggressive. "What's it to you? Why should it matter to you? It's between me and Snape."

"Because whenever you spend long periods of time with Snape, you come back angry and short tempered and, to be rather frank, I don't enjoy it when you're like this. It's not fair that he gets you while you're all nice and calm and then I get you like this."

I sneered. Lupin tried reaching for my hands, but I yanked them away. "You see," I spat, making up a ridiculous lie on the spot. I crossed my arms. "After Snape and I clean ourselves up every night, he makes me feel guilty about cheating and that's what puts me in a bad mood. Is that what you're expecting to hear?"

"No, but I have reason to believe it."

"You're ridiculous! That's ridiculous!" I shouted, my voice a higher pitch than it had been only seconds before. "Why's that, Remus?"

"Because – well, look at yourself! You make people fall in love with you! You're too good to people and you have love in your heart for everyone, even Snape! A lot of people can't find any love in their heart for him at all!" Lupin retorted. "You can't let so many people fall in love with you, Darcy… you get me worried."

"_What_?" I screamed. "Snape is _not_ in love with me! I don't think anyone is! If they are, so be it! I'm not purposefully coaxing them into falling in love with me! But you think that if Snape really did love me – you think I'd go out and cheat on you? You think I'm some kind of – of – whore?"

"I never said that –"

"You implied it!" I protested. "Think before you speak, Remus!" I took a deep breath. "I love you and only you!"

I turned to leave. "Darcy, wait!"

I spun on my heels to face him once more, tears building in my eyes. "And in case you want to know, I tell Snape about how good you are to me and how much I love you!" I cried. "And I was talking to Hermione about inviting you to Slughorn's Christmas party!"

Lupin hesitated and scrunched his nose, but his voice was still angry. "I suppose you're going to go run to him now, aren't you?" he asked angrily. I was fuming and my cheeks were hot with embarrassment – I _was_ going to head back to his office, but changed my mind as he said that. "Going to go complain about how I'm so horrible to you now?"

"You ass!" I said, walking right up to him and pushing him backwards. He stumbled a bit. "You complete ass! I hate you!"

"Go, then!" Lupin pointed towards the door. "Go tell him how much you hate me! How you wish I was gone! Go tell Snape that I'm a complete ass to you! He hates me, too! Maybe you guys can bond over hating me!"

I pushed him again and he grunted. "Shut up!" I shouted at him, but I didn't leave.

"Come on! Don't be shy!" he snarled. "Let it all out! Go ahead, leave me! Walk out! I dare you!"

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down, but it wasn't working.

"You're not going to, are you?" he said suddenly and I backed away from him and stormed out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I went up two floors and approached a door with a garden on the front. I knocked quickly and when the door opened, Tonks grinned real big. Her purple hair was flat and she was in her nightclothes, although she looked to lively to have actually been sleeping. Tonks ushered me in.

"Gosh," she said excitedly, sitting down with me on the couch in front of the roaring fire. "I thought you'd forgotten about me. You don't visit!"

"I didn't know you wanted me to," I replied honestly and my cheeks turned red.

"Of course I want you to. Do you want something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate?"

"Er – no, I'm fine, Tonks," I replied.

"Are you okay?" she asked me and I shook my head. "What's going on? Is it Remus?"

I nodded. "Thinks there's something going on between me and Snape."

Tonks snorted and I raised my eyebrows in amusement as she cackled. "That old bat?" she laughed. "And he's being serious? I don't think Snape has _ever_ gotten any."

"This isn't funny, Tonks!"

"You're right, you're right, I'm sorry," she said, but there was still a goofy smile on her face. "I can't believe Remus is stupid enough to actually think something like that." She glanced towards the window. "It's near the full moon, though, isn't it?"

"In about a week!"

"Still," Tonks replied seriously. "He's just worried about you. You know he isn't used to this yet."

"To what, exactly?" I asked.

"Being in love!" Tonks told me. "He's never cared about anyone like he's cared about you. And he's never had anyone care about him the way you do. He's scared that you'll run off with someone else – but he's more terrified that you'll run off with someone better than him."

"But Remus is better than Snape. Everyone knows that. Remus is –"

"The way he sees it," Tonks explained gently. "You're 'running off' with Snape and Remus is taking that as you thinking Snape is better than him, even though it's not the slightest bit true. He doesn't want you to think of him as some lowlife who's worse than Snape. Who would want anyone to think that way about them?"

I thought it all over and Tonks smiled at me.

"I take it you got into a pretty big fight, yeah?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said sadly. I bit the inside of my cheek.

"You need a place to stay tonight?"

I looked up at her and grinned. "You're a good friend, you know that?"

"Ah, wish I could say the same for you," she replied and I frowned. "True friends come and visit! You barely talk to me!" I chuckled with her. "It's my pleasure, Darcy. I like you."

"Yeah, yeah, I like you, too."

"I'm sorry if you go back tomorrow and Remus accusing you of cheating on him with me," she continued and I covered my mouth. I never realized how Tonks could cheer me up. She smiled again. "Shame, though. I spent all this time with Mad-Eye when I was dating Remus and he never said anything."


	12. A Date to the Party

**A DATE TO THE PARTY.**

"I came back for my robes for today," I snapped and Lupin opened his eyes. I walked quickly in our room and opened my dresser drawers loudly, pulling out new clothes. "Then I'm leaving again."

Lupin was lying on his side of the bed and my side looked untouched. "Where were you last night?" he asked. "I waited up for you."

"I was with Tonks," I grabbed my teaching robes and looked at him. "I'll tell Snape to make your potion this week because I certainly won't."

"Darcy, come on, just come back –"

"You told me to leave and so I did," I replied coldly.

"What about Slughorn's party?"

"Don't bother coming!" I slammed the door shut and heard him sigh before I left.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I headed down to the Quidditch pitch, a heavy coat over top of my robes and a scarf wrapped snugly around my neck. I pulled the flaps on my hat down further and it seemed that my hair was frozen. Winter that year was terrible.

Gryffindor was practicing and in Katie's place was Dean Thomas, who looked dreadful. I climbed up to the stands where I sat and watched as Harry became more and more frustrated with every second and dropped quaffle.

When the practice finally ended, everyone flew down to head back up to the castle, but Harry flew over to where I was sitting and he hovered right in front of me. "What's up?" he asked.

"Frustrating practice?"

"I don't really want to talk about it. I just wish I had Katie back."

I smiled. "Hopefully you'll have her back soon." There was a short silence and Harry rubbed his eyes, still holding onto his floating broomstick with one hand.

"Remus tracked me down during my free period today," Harry said. "Said you walked out last night. Stayed the night with Tonks."

"I did, actually."

"He's upset."

"I don't care."

Harry frowned. "What happened?"

"Do you really want to know or are you just being polite and a good brother?"

"A little bit of both."

"He thinks there's something going on between me and Snape."

"Oh my – that's _disgusting_!" Harry cackled. "What is _wrong_ with him? Is Remus's self esteem _that_ bad that he thinks Snape is better looking than him? Oh god that's wrong!"

"I know," I replied, not amused with Harry's laugh. "Are you done?"

He wiped his eye and nodded, calming himself down. "He's being ridiculous. You know he'll come chasing after you. Do you have the time?"

"No. Why?"

"I've got a lesson with Dumbledore tonight," he replied.

"Do you? They aren't very consistent, are they?" I asked and Harry shrugged. "I heard McGonagall telling Sprout that Dumbledore had gone for a few days. He's been doing it for a while, I think."

"Where's he going?" Harry asked me eagerly.

"I know just as much as you do."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Harry told me that Remus would chase after me," I said, skipping a rock on the surface of the Black Lake. "So far, that hasn't happened. It's been three days!"

"He'll come round," Tonks assured me. "He's waiting for you to run after him." She looked up. "Speak of the devil…"

I looked to my right and saw Lupin walking towards us confidently. He was looking right at Tonks and I blinked a few times, throwing the rock in my hand as hard as I could as the water. It splashed up and I sighed. Lupin walked up to the two of us. "Hello," he said.

Tonks didn't speak. I kept quiet.

"I er – I was speaking to Slughorn earlier today and he invited me to the Christmas party."

"Fascinating," I muttered.

"And I wanted to invite someone," Lupin stammered. "Well, er – Tonks. Would you want to – um – go to the party with me?"

My heart sank and I turned to face Tonks, who had an eyebrow raised. She obviously didn't expect that to be said. No one spoke for a moment and I turned my back on Lupin, mouthing the words, "_Say yes_."

Tonks looked at me like I had a third eye on my forehead. She looked a bit uncomfortable, but then she said, "Yeah, okay." Lupin smiled and looked at me, looking more than satisfied with her answer. "I'll see you later."

"Oh, yeah," he said awkwardly and he turned away, walking back up to the castle.

"The _hell_ did you make me say 'yes' for?" she hissed and I looked at her, skipping another rock on the water.

"So he didn't think I was upset," I replied.

"It's been three days, Darcy," Tonks said. "You know he just asked me to the party to spite you?"

"I know, but I don't want him to know that I'm upset." I sighed. "Just go to the party with him and I'll go and pretend I don't even care."

Tonks was quiet. She tossed a stone into the water.

"That's a stupid idea, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

"Little bit."

"At least you're honest."

"Why don't you just make him jealous?" Tonks asked. "Bring someone else."

"Oh yes," I snapped. "Let me just ask the tons of guys who are lined up to date me. You know what?" I looked at her angrily. "Maybe I could just go ask Snape to go with me. I'm sure he is absolutely _dying_ to attend a Christmas party with me." I kicked some pebbles. "Besides, Remus would hate me even more if I went anywhere or did anything with Snape."

"Look," Tonks explained calmly. She was used to my temper. "When I go, I'll just talk about how great you are. He misses you. It's obvious."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'll set something up and Snape won't even be involved."

I smiled. "Tonks, you're the best."

"I'm just trying to get you out of my quarters," she said with a laugh.

"I'm not in your way, am I?" I asked hesitantly. "I mean, you don't mind me staying? Because I can find another place to stay if I'm intruding –"

"You're not intruding," she said quickly. "Stay as long as you want. I've got nothing going on. It's nice not being alone."

"Yeah…" I sniffed and sat down on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest. Tonks did the same. "I'm scared, Tonks."

"About what?"

"Harry."

"What's wrong with Harry?"

"Dumbledore is giving him these private lessons," I told her quietly. "And I don't think anyone is supposed to know what goes on in there besides him, me, Hermione, and Ron. But I just have this feeling that Dumbledore is teaching him how to defeat Voldemort."

Tonks didn't say anything. She simply stared at me, looking a little worried.

"And I'm scared because I know Harry. He's going to set out to find Voldemort – he's not going wait for Voldemort to come to him, you know?" I could see Tonks flinch at the sound of the name, but I pretended I didn't notice it. "I'm going to have to protect him. And Ron. And Hermione."

Tonks frowned.

"But I'm more scared of going off with Harry and leaving Remus."

"You've got another option, you know," Tonks added and I looked at her, a bit confused. "You could stay here with Remus and let Harry take care of You-Know-Who."

"But he's my only family, Tonks. Do you know how much I care – how much I love Harry?" I asked her angrily. "I would do anything to protect him and keep him safe. _Anything_."

Tonks bit the inside of her cheek and looked away, tossing some rocks into the water again. "With Ron and Hermione – Darcy, I honestly think they could make it alone. Harry is stronger than you think."

"I know what Harry is like," I said quickly, biting back a harsh insult. "I've lived with him for twenty years. And I know he's strong, but it's scary. I've watched him grow up – I've been his sister and his mother figure all his life and –"

"And he has grown into a strong, powerful wizard," Tonks finished for me. "You've done an excellent job, too. But think about it – you'd be sacrificing your happiness to go on a journey to confront You-Know-Who, the second most powerful wizard in the world! Think about it!"

"I am thinking about it." I sighed and closed my eyes. "I love them both."

"You put everyone before yourself," she said softly. "It's okay to think about yourself sometimes. Think about what _you_ want."

"Remus would be safe here."

"Yes."

"Three teenagers can't find Voldemort on their own."

"Darcy, you don't know for sure if that's really what's going to happen," Tonks tried to reason with me, but I wasn't really listening. "Just wait it out. Dumbledore could be telling Harry something extremely different. You don't know."

"I need to go – go –" I stood up and stumbled a bit. I held my head in my hands. "I need to be alone."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I covered my face with my hands, hiding my tears from view. "Tell me I'm not a bad person." My voice was muffled by my hands.

Snape didn't say anything. I was sitting in the back instead of the front by his desk. He was busy reading another book. I didn't tell him anything I told Tonks and I wasn't planning on it. That was the first thing I had said to Snape and I had been sitting there for fifteen minutes.

"Please tell me."

"Are you going to sit there and talk or can I read in peace?"

I sighed. "Can't you just look at me for one second and tell me that I'm not a bad person?"

Snape hesitated. "No."

I uncovered my face and looked at Snape. He was reading, looking very interested in the book that he was halfway through. He flipped a page. I stood up and moved quickly to the front of the room. I sat down at the front desk and wiped my eyes. "Do you think I'm a bad person?" I repeated.

Snape hit his palms against his desk and looked up at me. His eyes met mine and he didn't talk for a second. Then he said, "No. In fact, I think you're the best. You're quite the opposite of a bad person. Really."

I sneered. "You're not funny." I wiped my eyes again.

"Stop crying."

"I can't help it."

"You're a grown woman. I think you can."

I scrunched my nose, but Snape wasn't looking. He was already reading again. "Why do you have to be so mean?"

"Why must you be so childish?"

"_I'm_ being childish?"

He didn't answer. I knew it was stupid of me to be asking Snape that and expecting an answer. I knew it was ridiculous. I leaned back in my seat and wiped my eyes. I stopped crying and stood up, more relaxed than I had been before, and I headed out the door to pick up my clothes from my quarters.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I entered my quarters, something dropped and I heard Lupin swear loudly. I looked towards him. He had dropped a teacup. I breathed in deeply. "Are you alright?" I called.

Lupin jumped and looked up at me. "Bloody perfect," he hissed. His finger was bleeding, but he waved his wand and the cut sealed itself. "Having a real good time." I scrunched my nose. Something didn't sound right about his voice and for a moment, I thought he was crying.

I frowned and continued to the bedroom. I decided to pack all my things and take them to Tonks's room; I wasn't sure how long I would be staying with her. As I was bending down to pick up my trunk, Lupin ran straight into me and I fell forward onto the ground. "The _hell_ is your problem?" I yelled. And then I narrowed my eyes, seeing that his were bloodshot and he looked absolutely ridiculous. "Remus Lupin, are you _drunk_?"

He didn't speak. I stood up and got close to him. His mouth was open and I could smell the firewhisky on his breath. "Where were you?" he slurred.

"With my boyfriend," I spat, throwing my clothes in my old and fading trunk.

"Where are you – stop!" Lupin smacked my hand and I pulled it back in surprise, gasping. I looked up at him.

"Don't you dare hit me!" I shouted. "Don't you _dare_!"

"Don't leave me, Darcy," he pleaded, tears in his eyes. "Please – I – I haven't done anything –"

"What's wrong with you?" I breathed deeply, my voice higher than normal. "When I fell in love with you, you were shy and modest and you were so perfect just the way you were and you've changed, Remus. I don't know if it's because of me or – or Tonks or something or somebody else, but…" I shook my head and continued packing. "You're drunk. I don't know why I'm telling you this. You won't even remember."

"Tell me why you love _him_ and not me."

"I don't love _him_," I sighed. "But do you want to know why I go to him and not anyone else? Snape keeps me grounded. He keeps me calm. When I tell him I'm scared, he makes me believe there's nothing to be scared of. He treats me like an adult. He can be mean, but I can be honest with him."

"Sounds to me like you love him," Lupin said quietly.

"I don't," I whispered. "I wish it was you I could talk to, but I don't feel like I can be honest with you anymore. I feel like you don't believe me when I say I love you and only you. I feel like you don't really think I'm as scared as I am. You don't understand what I feel."

Lupin stared at me.

"Let me love you – I wish you would let me take care of you. I wish you could trust me enough. I think even Snape realizes that I only love you. And if Snape realizes it, why can't you?"


	13. A Lost Childhood

**Hello, ya'll! Just watching a little Conan while writing this new chapter. I hope you all enjoy it! School starts for me next Monday and I'm not looking forward to it… but in other news, I got my license and I've just been driving my dad's car aimlessly around because I don't even have to pay for gas. Well, hope you enjoy!**

**A LOST CHILDHOOD.**

Tonks sat down on her couch with me, handing me a warm mug of hot chocolate. She smiled and then sighed contently. I looked up at her, not touching my hot chocolate. "Darcy, I don't blame you," she said quietly. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"For what?"

"For going to Snape," she continued. "I know why you go and it's a completely legitimate reason. Forgive me if I'm entirely wrong, but this is what I think…" She paused and then I nodded for her to continue. "You've grown up essentially raising Harry. You've taught him that he can tell you everything, but you need someone to talk to, too. Harry's just a kid – you talk to Snape because he doesn't treat you as a sister, like Harry does; he doesn't treat you like a friend, like I do; he doesn't treat you as a girlfriend, like Remus does. You tell him anything you want and he'll give you an unbiased answer. He will always tell you what the right thing to do is."

I stared at her, partially amazed at what had just left her mouth. "Did you practice that?" I asked her in disbelief.

Tonks shrugged. "I've definitely been working on it." She grinned real big and laughed.

"Well, I think you're right," I chuckled. "That's the most intelligent thing you've ever said."

"Hey now," she teased.

"It's just – why doesn't Remus care that I'm friends with Fred and George or any of these other guys?"

"He only cares because you're telling Snape things that Remus wants to hear from you." She thought for a moment, and then continued. "And I think he's genuinely jealous because I'm like, ninety-nine percent sure Snape cares about you and he rarely cares about anyone."

"I'm a likeable person," I muttered and Tonks smiled at me again.

"Exactly!" Tonks replied loudly. "You're outgoing and likeable and Remus is shy and it takes people a while to like him because of his problem. You two are complete opposites – I think you are what Remus _wants_ to be, but isn't, and I think he's a bit intimidated by that."

"And that's why he's changed, right?" I sighed. "Because he doesn't like the way he is?"

"I think so."

"But I tell him all the bloody time that I love him for who he is! I'm not lying about it, but for some reason he wants to believe it!" I shouted, growing quite frustrated. "He's perfect, Tonks, and I'm sorry you have to hear me complain about him all the time, but he's quite annoying!"

Tonks frowned. "It's all right, Darcy. Really."

"I fell for him during my seventh year and he was shy and he read all the time and he was insecure and it really felt like he depended on me and I really liked that. But now it's like he wants to be independent and he doesn't let me – or want me – to take care of him, but _he_ is allowed to take care of _me_!" I sighed angrily. "I'm rambling."

Nodding slightly, Tonks pursed her lips. "A little bit." She shifted awkwardly. "He talks to me."

"He does?"

She nodded again.

"What does he say?"

"He's worried about someone stealing you away from him," she admitted. "He didn't say who, but I'd place a thousand Galleons on Snape. He's a bit worried about the age difference. He told me he didn't want you to be stuck with someone as old as him. He's convinced that you should be with someone your own age."

"Yes, because like I said before, I've got plenty of men lined up to date me."

"And there's the fact that he's a werewolf."

I scoffed. "That's not even that big of a deal! He takes his potion and he's not even dangerous! He doesn't even want to be around me when he transforms. He goes out to the shrieking shack."

"To be fair," Tonks interrupted. "He forgot his potion the last time and it was a good thing he was out there or else you'd have matching scars on your other shoulder."

"I – wait," I looked suspiciously at him. "He told you that?"

Tonks nodded, her cheeks turning a light pink. "Yeah," she said quietly. "He really feels guilty about them."

"It happened years ago!" I rolled my eyes. "They're barely visible anymore."

Tonks frowned. "Darcy, I don't think you understand what it does –"

"You don't think I understand?" I snapped. "_Me_? I'm his girlfriend – er – _was_ – I think I understand Remus a little better than you do. We were together longer… I know everything about him!"

She bit her lip and looked away from me, down at the floor, closely examining her shoes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Darcy!"

I was in the middle of talking with Hermione when someone called my name from behind. I turned around and saw Lupin running towards me. "Oh, hello," I sneered and turned back to Hermione. We were on our way to the Quidditch match. "So anyway, I was thinking –"

"Darcy!" Lupin called again and both Hermione and I stopped. I turned around again and crossed my arms.

"What?" I snapped.

"Er – can I walk with you guys? Down to the match?" he asked nervously.

Hermione and I spoke at the same time.

"Sure," said Hermione.

"Absolutely not," I said. I glared at Hermione and she shrugged awkwardly. "You can walk down with Tonks. She's currently talking with Professor Dumbledore."

"I don't want to go with Tonks, Darcy."

"You wanted to go to the Christmas Party with her," I spat. I grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her gently away from Lupin. "Come on, Hermione, let's go."

"Can we talk tonight?" he called after us.

"No!" I shouted. "I'm going to be writing my lesson plans!"

When we were outside, Hermione sighed. "You should really talk to him, you know. He loves you. He wants you back. He asked me how he could win you back the other day."

"Did you tell him there was no way he could win me back?"

"I just told him to be honest with you and trust you," Hermione replied tiredly. "If he's open with you, you can be open with him, right?"

"It shouldn't matter to him who I confide in! He wouldn't care if it was a guy my age – he only cares that it's Snape." Hermione paused and stepped in front of me, walking backwards and putting on her serious face. "He's jealous, Darcy. You'd be jealous if he confided in Tonks and not you."

"No, I wouldn't." I looked away, knowing I wasn't just lying to Hermione, but to myself. The fact that Lupin had told her about my scars and his attack bothered me to no end. She had no right being told that.

Hermione sighed. "Just give him a chance," she pleaded. "When you two are together, both you and him seem like the happiest people in the world. Remember when we went to Hogsmeade? He's changed you, Darcy, and in a good way. It's like, when you're with him, it seems like you realize that you're not alone."

"I don't want to talk about this right now," I told her quietly, my eyes filling with tears.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I breathed out loudly and ran my fingers through my hair, reading over my lesson plans for the umpteenth time. Snape was sitting at his desk, also silent, flipping through pages of a book quickly until finally settling on one and writing his own lesson plans. I watched him, quite bored, from the front desk.

"I like that you don't talk," I said, resting my forehead against the desktop. "I get massive headaches from listening to Remus talk sometimes."

"I can talk if you want me to," he said, sounding more bored that I was.

"Oh, ha, you're a riot," I replied bitterly. I closed my eyes. "All he does it worry and tell me I'm always wrong and argue and accuse me of sleeping with you –" My eyes shot open and I sat up, staring at Snape with a worried look. I had said too much.

"I'm sorry?" he spat and our eyes met. I smiled weakly. "He accuses you of _what_?"

"I didn't mean to say that – it just slipped out," I said, blushing madly. I mentally kicked myself.

"I'm a bit more professional than Lupin," Snape snapped. "Sleeping around with a student… and where exactly did that get him? Fired."

My cheeks turned even redder. "He didn't get fired because of that," I protested. A few minutes of silence passed between us and I could hear him scoff a few times. I licked my lips. "Do you think sleeping draughts are okay for first years to brew?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Good –"

At that moment, the door burst open and both Snape and I looked up. Lupin had entered the room, panting and looking at me with a blank expression. I was furious.

"Come to spy on me, have you?" I hissed in a deadly tone. Snape glanced at me and then cast a nasty look at Lupin. "In case you're wondering, these are just lesson plans." I held up my papers and Lupin frowned. I shut my books and gathered up my parchment. "I don't know what you expected to see when you came in here, but as you can see, I'm just here for a little peace and quiet."

I scooped up my things. "Don't forget your quill, Miss Potter." Snape flicked his wand at the quill I had dropped and it landed on top of my parchment. I had a feeling that he had done it just to spite Lupin.

"I could have gotten it for her!" Lupin protested.

Snape smiled a cruel smile. "It's a quill, Lupin. Nothing to get _jealous_ about."

Lupin glared at me angrily. "You told him?" he asked me quietly. "Oh, that's right, you tell him _everything_."

"I didn't mean to – I mean –" I stammered. "It was a stupid thing to assume…" I looked at Snape, who was still looking down at his desk with a twisted smile. "I have to go –"

Lupin wouldn't let me out the door. He grabbed my arm and I looked up at him with wide eyes. "Stop running away from me," he said seriously. I stared at him. "We need to talk. And if I have to say this all in front of Severus, then so be it."

I stood up straight, but was at a loss for words.

"Quit acting like a child," he finally spat. "You're holding a grudge that you shouldn't be. I haven't done anything to hurt you and I haven't done anything to you. I don't deserve what you're doing to me. Now, I've tried over and over again to get you back, but you won't take me. And if you won't take me back after this, then I give up.

"You're childish, Darcy. You won't let go of the last moments you had as a child. It's why you call Severus 'Professor Snape', even though he's not your professor anymore. It's why you hate being a professor. It's why you do all this reckless, dangerous, and frankly quite stupid stuff. And it's why you won't accept me for who I am now.

"Everyone changes. Harry's changed, Hermione's changed, Ron has changed, Tonks has, and so have I. I think I've changed for the better – people have told me so, but you won't accept me because I'm not the same Remus Lupin from your childhood. You don't want to grow up so you try to hold onto everything that you had, but you just come off looking like someone who is immature and rude and childish."

I couldn't look at him. "I – I'm not –"

"I know you don't want to grow up. You've been dreading it all your life. You've had to grow up faster than most people in the world and I can see why you're afraid, but I'm trying to tell you that it's not a bad thing. You may not want to grow up, but you can't stop other people from doing it. When you grow up, people change, and you have to accept that."

I bit down hard on my lip and looked from Lupin to Snape. Snape looked up at me and I looked at Lupin again. "Why are you still trying to get me back if that's what you think of me?" I whispered.

"That's simple." He smiled slightly. "It's because I love you."

Snape was beginning to look annoyed. My head was swimming with different thoughts. I felt humiliated and embarrassed and I looked Lupin directly in the eyes, breathed in and said, "I have to go."

Lupin stared at me in disbelief and I exited Snape's classroom. Lupin didn't follow me right away, but as I stood outside the barely open door, I heard Snape tell Lupin bitterly, "She's stubborn, that one." I knew he was doing it to anger Lupin, but I couldn't help feel that Snape meant it.

I was running away from Lupin, not knowing why. I was being stubborn for no reason at all. I was playing hard to get because I was bitter at Lupin because of him not trusting me. I thought my argument was merited, but I was finally beginning to question it.


	14. Cormac McLaggen

**CORMAC MCLAGGEN.**

I stepped into the Gryffindor common room and noticed that the party from earlier was still going on. The music was loud and everyone was singing 'Weasley is Our King'. I grinned and threw my stuff on a table, trying to find Harry. Unfortunately, I couldn't find Hermione or Harry anywhere and as I turned to find Ron, I found him attached to Lavender Brown.

"Looks like he's eating her face off, yeah?"

I jumped and noticed Ginny had come up beside me. I laughed. "He hasn't got much experience," I joked. Ginny smiled and nodded. "Good game today."

"Thanks," she said, looking away from Ron and to me.

"Have you seen Harry or Hermione?" I asked, glancing about the room once more.

"They left a little bit ago," Ginny told me and she smiled and bid me goodbye as Dean Thomas stole her away and into the crowd of Gryffindors.

I heard the portrait hole creak open and as a couple left, Lupin slipped in and I quickly ducked down behind a few tall, muscular seventh years.

Lupin had his hands deep in his pockets and Ron waved to him; Lupin waved back awkwardly, seeing Lavender hanging by his neck. Several people greeted him, including Ginny and Dean. I looked over the shoulder of one of the seventh years and the blonde haired boy turned around. It was Cormac McLaggen. "Professor Potter?"

"No," I hissed. "You don't have to call me that. It's Darcy."

He smiled down at me. "May I ask what you're doing?" He tried to see where I was looking.

"Er – hiding from someone," I replied, spinning him around so he was standing between Lupin and I. Lupin still couldn't see us and was now talking to Neville, who glanced about the room.

"It wouldn't happen to be the only man in here that isn't a student?" Cormac smirked and I raised my eyebrows.

"You're good," I replied quickly. "Who is that? Who is that talking to him?"

Cormac quickly looked around. Lupin looked very uncomfortable talking to dark haired, big eyed girl before him. "That's Romilda Vane," he told me. "Sixth year. I hear she's been meaning to slip your brother a love potion."

I scoffed. "Come get a butterbeer with me. Don't make eye contact."

Cormac chuckled and I held onto his arm, guiding him towards the butterbeer where Lupin and Romilda were standing. Lupin hadn't noticed me yet. Cormac opened a cold butterbeer for me and then one for him and we drank them slowly, trying to listen in on Lupin's conversation.

"… so, Professor Lupin, you and Darcy are together, hm?"

"Er – I think you should call her 'Professor Potter'…"

"Oh right," Romilda giggled. I traced my top teeth with my tongue. "Well, should I call you 'Professor', too?"

"Um, well…"

The common room began to cheer again and the conversation was drowned out. Romilda was batting her eyelashes and touching his arm gently. While he looked awkward, I still felt jealous. Should I have been jealous? I had just rejected him minutes earlier… But I wanted him to myself more than anything.

"Come on, Cormac," I said, pulling him towards the door.

"Where are we going?"

But we didn't get far because Lupin called out my name and I stopped immediately, turning to face him. He looked quickly at my hands, still wrapped around Cormac's thick arm. Romilda looked me over, but I tried to ignore her. She _was_ awfully pretty… "What the hell is going on?" Lupin said angrily.

"What the hell is going on with you?" I said, completely unsure of what else to say.

"Er – Romilda, do you want to go get some butterbeer?" Cormac asked and she nodded quickly. "Maybe we should let these two alone."

Romilda happily agreed and bounced off with Cormac, leaving Lupin and I in peace. "What the hell was that?" I said. "She was flirting with you!"

Lupin gave me a confused look. "She's Harry's age, Darcy! You're being ridiculous." He looked past me at Cormac. "_You_ were flirting with _him_! And enjoying it! I wanted to get away from her as soon as possible! Do you think I would actually go for a seventeen year old student – do you think I'd go for anyone else but you?" A look of realization dawned on his face. "Darcy Potter, are you jealous?"

My face instantly turned red. "Jealous?" I shook my head and crossed my arms. "Me? No. I don't get jealous."

"Well, you shouldn't be jealous."

"I'm not!"

Lupin smiled. "Just admit it."

"Why should I?" I asked and he took a step forward and I looked at him seriously.

"Because, Darcy," he whispered on my lips. "I'm not used to people being jealous because of me."

I smiled, still blushing a bit, and grabbed his hands, pulling him from the Gryffindor common room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lupin and I reached our quarters and he shut the door behind us quickly. I didn't even have a chance to move to the bedroom; he grabbed my hips and pinned me against the door.

"You really love me?" I whispered, glancing down at his lips.

Lupin nodded. "Of course I do," he replied quietly. "Don't think that what I said earlier changes my feelings about you. If anything, I love you even more because of it."

I looked away from him, but Lupin grinned. He touched my chin gently and tilted my head back so I was looking directly at him. I tried to look away so I looked to my left, feeling guilty about running away from him earlier.

"Darcy," he breathed with a smile. "Please, look at me."

My eyes met his.

"I love you, Darcy. No matter what you say or do to me, I will always love you. I will always want to wake up next to you – _you_ – no one else. It always has been you and always will be you."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Should I call you 'professor'? If Romilda has to, I think I should, too."

He smirked and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck, and he carried me to the bedroom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I woke up with my back to Lupin, his arm around my waist, and his hot breath on the back of my neck. I yawned and I felt his lips against my bare shoulder blade. I sighed happily. "Let's just stay like this forever," I muttered.

I rolled over to look into his eyes and he was smiling, his dirty blonde hair tousled and his face covered in stubble. "Whatever you say, love." He placed a calloused hand on my cheek and kissed my lips rather passionately. He pulled away and kissed my neck. I smiled as he nipped at my skin. Running my fingers through his hair, I kissed his cheek lightly. His lips met mine again.

I pulled away and he smiled, looking as if he hardly slept. "Unfortunately, breakfast is about to start and everyone expects us to come." I grinned, jumping out of bed. I searched the ground for clean clothes. I pulled some underwear on and then put on a bra. I turned around to face Lupin, looking for a shirt. I glanced at him. "Quit your staring," I teased.

"I've seen you naked plenty of times, Darcy," he said simply and I blushed. "I think you're beautiful." I picked up a shirt of his and tossed it at him. "And as much as I would like you to always be naked, I think there are too many hormonal boys in this school for you to be parading around without clothes on."

I shook my head and laughed, putting on a dress shirt and pants, plus my robes. I raised my eyebrow. "Is this better for you?"

"That's what you need to wear whenever you're around other boys," he told me seriously. "I don't want all those students fantasizing about you during class."

"Stop worrying," I chuckled. "Now, hurry up and get dressed. And dress appropriately, please – I would hate for Professor McGonagall to fantasize about _you_ because I asked for you to stay naked."

"Cheeky, hm?" he smirked and beckoned me closer to the bed again. He grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him. My long, auburn colored hair was like a curtain around his face and he tucked it behind my ears. "There'll be punishment for that."

"I don't believe I put clothes on just for you to take them off," I replied, kissing him quickly. "But I'll be more than happy to pay for it tonight."

Lupin sighed, defeated, and I got off him, letting him dress.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm happy for you," Tonks said and in the middle of packing my things back up, I turned to face her. "And I assume that you'll be going to the party together?" She was smiling, but not like usual.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded slowly and I raised an eyebrow before turning back to my stuff. I shut my trunk and locked it, waving my wand and making it feather light. "You sure?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly. "Just a little emotional about you leaving." She laughed and I smiled.

"I promise I'll visit more often," I told her seriously. "Why don't you come to the party anyway? You can come with Remus and me."

"Oh, I don't know –"

"Well, if you don't want to do that, I can always try and set something up between you and Snape." We both started laughing again and Tonks scrunched her nose. "Ron invited us to his house for Christmas break – you coming this year?"

"Oh, er – maybe. I got a letter from Molly about that."

"You should come. It'll be fun. It's always fun at the Burrow."

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

"Looking forward to it," I grinned and I hugged her goodbye, thanking her for her generosity and I left.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Er – Darcy?"

"Yes?"

"Could you tie this tie for me, please?"

I stepped out of the bathroom, already in my dress. Lupin held up both ends of the tie and I smiled, taking them and slowly tying it around his neck. "Why don't you just learn to tie it yourself?" I teased.

"I like when you do it," he replied quickly, kissing my forehead. "You look beautiful, by the way – not that you don't look – I mean, you always are –"

"I got it," I chuckled. "Thank you. You clean up nice, yourself."

Lupin smiled a smile of contentment and I grabbed onto his arm as he escorted me out of our quarters. We headed down to Slughorn's office and it was decorated rather beautifully. Colored lights hung from the ceiling and there was a low murmur coming from inside; Slughorn's voice overpowered all the others.

Before I got to talk to anyone, someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Drink?"

I turned around. "Neville?" I asked. "I thought you were in the Slug Club. What are you doing handing out drinks."

His cheeks were slightly pink. "Well, I actually didn't get in the Club," Neville answered quickly. "But it's okay, though! He's got Belby handing out towels in the loo."

Lupin and I exchanged odd glances. "We'll pass on the drinks, Neville," he said and Neville nodded and walked away, offering another man a drink.

"Cute kid," I muttered and Lupin chuckled.

"Miss Potter! You made it! And Remus, good to see you!" Slughorn had pranced over to us and was shaking Lupin's hand. "Miss Potter, if you don't mind, perhaps we could get a picture? Your picture would go great on the shelf next to your mother's!"

"Oh, um, no, sir," I replied with a shrug. Slughorn motioned an older man with a camera over. Slughorn and I put our arms around each other and the man took two pictures. I pulled away and looked around. "Have you seen Harry?"

"He's over there with Luna."

I looked to my right and spotted Luna first. I grabbed Lupin's hand and dragged him over to my brother and he greeted me with a hug. "Hi, Luna," I said.

"Hello, Darcy," she replied in a dreamy voice. Even though she was looking right at me, she seemed distant and I looked slowly at Lupin with my eyes wide. I pursed my lips. "How are you?"

"Fine, great," I shrugged. "You?"

"I'm doing well."

"That's good…" I looked at Harry and saw someone in the background. Someone, a thin figure with bushy hair, had slipped behind a curtain and seemed to be hiding. "Er – Harry, is that -?" I pointed towards Hermione and I pulled away from Lupin, leaving him and Luna by themselves.

I slipped behind the curtain with Harry following me and Hermione jumped.

"Having a nice evening?" I asked her suspiciously and she breathed in deeply and shook her head. "What are you doing here? What's happened to you?"

"I've just escaped," she told us. "I mean, left Cormac under the mistletoe."

"_Cormac_?" Harry snorted. "That's who you invited?"

"I thought it would annoy Ron the most," Hermione admitted sourly. I nodded. "He's got more tentacles than a straffola plant."

A man suddenly opened the curtain and we all jumped. We stared at him as he held out some small, brown balls on a platter. "Dragon tartare?" I scrunched my nose; they didn't smell great.

"No, we're fine, thank you," I replied.

"Just as well," the man shrugged. "They give one horrible bad breath."

"On second thought…" Hermione grabbed the whole platter from the man. "I'll take the lot. It might keep Cormac at bay… God, here he comes." She dumped the dragon tartares in my hands and grabbed Harry's hand, pulling him away. I meant to protest her just leaving me there, but Cormac appeared and raised his eyebrows. He smirked and I backed up to the wall, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"I think she just went to powder her nose," I lied.

Cormac huffed and in one quick motion, pressed his lips against mine. I pulled away immediately.

"What are you doing?" I spat. "I'm your _professor_!"

"So? You're young and _you_ came onto _me_ the other night! It's not like you're – you know – thirty six."

"You have no right ruining my relationship!" I shoved all the dragon tartares in his mouth and he nearly choked.

"What am I eating?" he said and I hardly understood him through all the chewing.

I paused and raised my eyebrows. "Dragon balls."

The curtain flew open again and Professor Snape looked from Cormac – who had gone green in the face – to me, who tried to put on my best innocent face. When he looked back to Cormac, the student vomited all over and it landed on Snape's black shoes. I was disgusted and scrunched my nose. "You've just bought yourself a month's worth of detention, McLaggen." I tried to sneak away from him, but Snape stopped me. "Not so fast, Miss Potter."

I froze and stood up straight. It did bother me that he treated me like a student, but I didn't say anything because I knew he wasn't going to change. "Severus," I said in my best serious voice, but Snape just raised an eyebrow and looked rather amused. "I believe I should rejoin the party. Remus is waiting for me."

"I'm terribly sorry, but it seems that Remus left after your little kiss here with McLaggen," Snape scowled and my heart sank.

"That kiss was not welcomed -!"

"Shh," he snapped. "I'm simply looking for your brother. I have a message to convey from Dumbledore."

"What's the message?"

Snape stared at me. "He's traveling," he said. "And won't be back until term resumes. He wishes to meet with Mr. Potter when he returns."

"Why can't you just call him Harry?"

Snape shook his head and walked away. I walked quickly to the door and took off my high heels, running towards my quarters. Lupin couldn't have been mad – I didn't want to Cormac to kiss me and I pushed him away immediately! I turned every corner trying to find him and when I was just about to give up, my stomach churned and I stood there with my shoes in my hand, tears building in my eyes.

Lupin was kissing Tonks. She was dressed up and I assumed that she was on her way to the party. I dropped my shoes and picked them up quickly as Lupin and Tonks pulled away from each other and looked around. I hid from them around the corner and closed my eyes.


	15. Apologies and Doubts

**Sorry for the long break, but school has started and I'm currently in my junior year. That means PSAT's, SAT's, graduation project, and PSSA's, so my year is pretty jampacked. Plus, I'm coaching a fall ball softball team for twelve year olds and because it's school season, that means visiting my best friend up in college every other weekend. That means that my story might take even longer to update than before (which is a long time, yes), but don't worry, I won't be just stopping the story! I've already written about four chapters of the next and final story and my whole computer is filled with random writing and drabbles that I'll be using with the upcoming chapter. Anyway, enjoy this one!**

**APOLOGIES AND DOUBTS.**

Lupin didn't say anything about Cormac or Tonks when he and I walked back to our quarters together. It was completely silent, in fact, and the tension was high. My heart was racing with every step and I wanted nothing more than to run to one of my friends and cry – but who could I go to? Snape wouldn't listen to me. And I couldn't tell Tonks.

Tonks. The one person my age who I could talk to about everything and she'd support me and listen and offer good advice. The girl who convinced me that Lupin would come running back to me. The girl who told me he was in love with me and would always come back. The girl who agreed to help me win him back. She had stabbed me in the back, knowing I already felt so alone – knowing that I depended on her and needed her. She betrayed me and I don't know what hurt more: Lupin kissing her, or her going back on her promise.

Lupin held the door open for me, still without saying anything, and as soon as he shut the door behind him, I threw my shoes down and walked to the bedroom, grabbing a shirt and shorts and locking myself in the bathroom. I stripped out of my dress and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water hit my back.

I stood there for what seemed like an hour, waiting for Lupin to knock and ask if I was okay, or to unlock the door and sneak into the shower with me, like he usually did, but he didn't do anything. He didn't knock, didn't come in, and didn't ask if I was okay. He didn't ask me anything.

What worried me most was not that fact that he kissed her. In fact, the kiss wasn't even that bad – closed mouthed, awkward, and not too long – but I was worried that kissing her would trigger long lost feelings for him and he'd fall back in love with her. He claimed to have loved her a year ago; what was stopping him from falling for her again?

When the water turned ice cold, I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me and grabbing my clothes. I changed in the bathroom and walked out, my hair sopping wet. Lupin was seated comfortably in an armchair in the corner of the room, reading. I frowned. He always read in bed, lying beside me.

I waved my wand around my head and dried my hair and laid down in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you coming to bed?" I asked him bravely. My voice was quiet.

"In a few minutes." Surprisingly, his tone wasn't harsh or cold.

I breathed in deeply.

"You should go to sleep. You seem tired and we've got to get up early tomorrow to catch the train," he whispered, marking his spot in the book by folding the corner of the page down.

I nodded. "I know."

Lying in bed with Lupin that night was one of the worst moments of my life. I felt alone, even with him by my side. I felt empty. I felt as if my whole world had come crashing down around me. Lupin, my main source of love and happiness had cheated. He didn't even seem guilty and it broke my heart.

When he turned the lights out, tears fell silently from the corners of my eyes. I knew Lupin was still awake, but it suddenly felt different. We were sleeping further away from each other. He wasn't touching me and our backs were towards each other. It was amazing how different it was after a simple kiss. I was beginning to believe him when he told me that I was the only one for him and when he promised he'd always love me – he lied.

I suddenly spoke. "Tonks is pretty, don't you think?"

Lupin swallowed loudly. "Don't start this, Darcy," he said.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you fell in love with her." I sniffed quietly.

"I could say the same about you and Severus."

I rolled over and looked at his back. "I can tell when you love someone and you don't. You look at them differently. When we first got together, you looked at me like you really loved me. You don't look at me like that anymore."

He didn't speak.

"I would do anything to have you look at me like that again."

"What exactly do you see in my eyes that means I'm in love?" he asked harshly and another tear rolled down my cheek.

"Happiness."

He was quiet.

"Please, look at me," I breathed and after a second of considering it, he rolled over slowly and looked me directly in the eyes. They were dull, not bright and full of life. "Do you remember the first time we kissed?"

"Of course I do," he replied.

I pressed my lips to his, picturing us surrounded by snow-covered trees, the wind turning our cheeks red. I pictured us at the Burrow, sneaking into his room to sleep together. I pictured us getting warmed by the fire after falling asleep outside. The kiss was sad. His mouth was closed – just like he kissed Tonks.

He pulled away and I opened my eyes. He was looking at me with sad eyes. I was brought back to reality. I licked my lips and stood up, walking out the door and to the sitting room.

Lupin appeared next to me in a few minutes and sat down beside me.

"I know you kissed her. I saw it."

He seemed to be thinking. His eyes were closed and he held his head in his hands. "Severus told me you shoved dragon tartares in Cormac's mouth. He said that you didn't want or mean to kiss Cormac."

"Well, Professor Snape was right." I sighed. "I'm not upset that you kissed her – well, I am – but I'm more upset because I'm worried that you might love her." I hesitated and looked away. "You keep hurting me. I don't want to be in a relationship where I keep getting hurt. We were happy for one year – the year we met. Maybe… maybe we just aren't meant to be together."

Lupin breathed in sharply. "Darcy, I know I hurt you and I know I say a lot of things, but I don't mean to. I don't do it because it's fun or because I like to hurt you. I do it because I'm stupid. I'm a fool. And if you walk out on me again, I'll fall apart. But if you stay here with me…" he touched my face. "I promise you that I'll never hurt you again."

I frowned. "How many times are you going to say that? I believe you, but then you break your promise by not trusting me. Why didn't you just confront me after you saw Cormac kiss me? Why did you run off and kiss Tonks?" I shook my head. "She's my best friend and because of that, I am not just upset at _you¸_ but at _her_ for stabbing me right in the back. You know I haven't got many friends and you may have just ruined my friendship with one of my closest friends."

"Tell me how I can make it up to you," he pleaded. His forehead creased. "Do you want me to kiss you? To hold you and tell you I'm sorry? Should I tell you I love you? What can I do, Darcy?"

I thought for a moment. "I don't want you to do those things because you feel you have to. I want you to do all those things because you want to."

"But I do want to," he replied quickly. "But are they enough to make you forgive me?"

"Be honest with me. That's it."

"Darcy, I am honest with you. All the time."

"Then tell me this," I said. "Do you really love me and only me?"

Lupin nodded. "Yes, I do. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you and it kills me to see you like this. I hate seeing you cry. I never meant for this to happen – I was angry. I was jealous. You know that I'm scared to lose you. I'm scared that you're going to leave me."

I considered him. "Kiss me again."

He leaned in this time and when I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine, I felt as if I was really kissing him for the first time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had to talk to Tonks. As much as I wanted to hate her for going back on her promise and betraying me, she was my best friend. If I had kissed her boyfriend, I would be begging for forgiveness. Hopefully she was really, really sorry about what she had done.

I knocked on the door to her quarters around eleven o'clock that same night, hoping that she would be truly sorry. When she opened the door, she was in her pajamas; her normally bright pink hair was brown and she began to speak, but I cut her off.

"Can we talk?" I said and she nodded slowly and let me in. Like many times before, we sat together on the couch and I stared into the burning fire in the fireplace. "I know what happened."

"Darcy, you have to believe me, kissing him was not my intention –"

I smiled weakly at her. "We already talked about it," I told her. She tensed up. "Tonks, I need you to be completely one hundred percent truthful and honest with me for the next ten minutes."

She nodded again and held her hands in her lap.

I cleared my throat. "Do you love Remus?"

She breathed in deeply and then let it out. "I – honestly?" I nodded. "Yes, I do." I simply stared at her and she shook her head and touched my hand. "But I wouldn't do anything to ruin your relationship with him, I swear! I didn't expect him to kiss me and when he did, I assumed that you two weren't together because I know Remus would never do something like that!"

I bit down on my bottom lip.

"I stand by what I said at the end of last year. Do you remember? I told you that you two were so much better together than him and me. You two are so happy together and you _do_ bring out the best of each other. I really did mean that, Darcy, please believe me."

I couldn't look at her anymore. I knew that if I looked at her, I'd start crying.

"Darcy, I don't think you realize that he's truly in love with you. The way he looks at you – his eyes light up when he sees you. And he opens his mouth when he kisses you – what him and I did earlier… it was hardly a kiss! Darcy, he doesn't want anyone else but you. He doesn't love me back and I don't think he ever will as long as he has you. It's sad – I am upset sometimes, but still, you've got to believe me."

"Tonks, you have to understand how _I_ feel –"

"Darcy, don't pull that crap with me," she said breathlessly. "I know exactly how you feel. He loved you when I dated him. He wouldn't shut up about you, but I couldn't blame _you_. I know it wasn't like you were trying to make him love you, you know?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Are you sorry?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you sorry? For kissing my boyfriend?"

"He came onto me, Darcy!"

"But you kissed him back!" I snapped.

"Why are you putting all the blame on _me_?" Tonks said desperately. "Haven't you yelled at Remus? Did he already apologize? Did he tell you he'd never do it again?"

"Yes, he did! I already talked to him and he apologized –"

"And how many times, exactly, has he told you he wasn't going to do something ever again?" Tonks asked me quietly. "And how many times has he done it since then?"

"I – I don't – he just makes mistakes! I make mistakes, too!" I protested. "He said he was sorry and he apologized and I know he meant it!"

Tonks raised her eyebrows.

"I _know_ he meant it…" I whispered, suddenly becoming doubtful of his apology. "He _loves_ me…" I looked at her and I licked my lips. "He loves me, doesn't he? He means it when he promises not to hurt me?"

"I don't doubt that." Tonks cleared her throat. "But if you believe him when he says he's sorry, why won't you believe me? We're best friends, Darcy; you've got to believe me. I won't ever do it again, I swear. And if it _does_ happen again, which it won't, but I'll let you hex me."

"I wouldn't do that ever," I said quickly. "But… okay."

She bit the inside of her cheek. "Can I still come to the Burrow for Christmas?"

I smiled very weakly. "Yeah. Yeah, of course."

She rasped, "Thanks."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I arrived back at my own quarters at around midnight, spoke the password, and entered. Lupin was still up, slouched in an armchair, half asleep. I smiled at him.

"I thought you weren't going to come back again," he said slowly, standing up and walking up to me. He took my face gently in his hands and gave me a lingering kiss on my forehead. "I love you."

"I'm tired," I told him. He smiled and chuckled, taking my hands and slowly pulling me to our bedroom. He laid me down and then climbed over me, putting a hand on either side of me.

"I love you, Darcy."

"I love you, too," I replied with a smile. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine. He kissed every inch of my face and then fell down beside me. I turned on my side and looked at him. Lupin was lying on his back, underneath the blankets, his hands behind his head. "Do you really love me?"

"Darcy, that's quite possibly the stupidest thing you've ever said. Of course I love you. Was Tonks trying to make you doubt that?"

"Well, I don't think she was exactly doing it on purpose."

Lupin shook his head as if he was disappointed.

"You know she still loves you?"

"Does she?" he asked nonchalantly. I sighed. "Well, I don't love her back." He said it coldly.

"That's a bit harsh, Remus."

"It's the truth, Darcy."

"Doesn't mean you have to be mean about it. I mean, how would you feel if you loved me and I didn't love you and I was mean to you all the time? You're probably hurting her."

"Look, if I'm hurting her just because I'm with you – I'm sorry, but I'm not going to end this just because it would make Tonks happy!" Lupin said defiantly. "If it was something else, like not kissing in front of her, yes, I'd comply. But I'm not going to leave you because she doesn't like us being together."

I smiled slightly. "She's my best friend. I just don't want her to hate me."

"You shouldn't be her friend if she isn't happy for you. Why would you want to be best friends with someone who can't be happy for you?"

I rolled over on my back as he blew out the candles on the bedside table. "Because I don't have a lot of friends."


	16. Knockturn Alley

**CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.**

"An Unbreakable Vow?" I shook my head in disbelief as I sat across from Harry on the Hogwarts Express. "Harry, are you sure that's what Snape said?" Harry nodded. We hadn't talked about Malfoy in a while, but now that he had brought it up again, I couldn't help but think that Malfoy's mission was a bit more serious than I had thought before. The train ride was a bit boring, but being awfully close to Lupin wasn't that bad and having Ron cracking jokes on the other side of me was very entertaining. Tonks had chosen to Apparate out of Hogsmeade and we were going to meet her there at the Burrow.

"Positive," Harry said. "Why?"

"Well," I looked at Lupin, who still looked skeptical. "You can't break an Unbreakable Vow."

"I actually worked that one out for myself, thanks very much," Harry snapped and I looked out the window, crossing my arms.

It was silent except for the flipping of the pages of the _Daily Prophet_ that Lupin was reading to my left. There was a sudden tap at the compartment window and Lavender Brown was staring directly at Ron. She drew on the window a heart and then put her and Ron's initials in the heart. "I miss you," she mouthed. He smiled weakly at her.

Ron nodded and she ran off. Hermione came up to the compartment door and went to come in to sit with us, but when she saw was Lavender had written, she frowned and walked away.

"Ron, what have you done to her?" I looked to him. "She looks miserable."

"I haven't done anything!" Ron protested. "Bloody hell… All she wants to do is snog me. My lips are getting chapped. Look!" He got close to my face and I chuckled as he pointed to his lips.

"I'll take your word for it!" I replied.

Lupin didn't look up from his paper. "Get your lips within a five foot radius of my girlfriend again and I'll kill you." When Ron's eyes widened, Lupin looked up and smiled innocently. Ron moved from beside me to sit next to Harry.

"So," Harry interrupted. "What happens if you do break an Unforgivable Vow?"

Lupin looked up at Harry and raised his eyebrows. I shrugged and answered Harry. "You die."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where do you think you're going?" Lupin asked as he walked into the kitchen of the  
>Burrow. I was pulling on my scarf and hat, buttoning up my coat. It was snowing hard outside and I glanced out the window at the white ground.<p>

"I have to finish my Christmas shopping. I'm going to Diagon Alley."

"Oh no," Lupin replied, grabbing his coat and wrapping it around him. "You can't go to Diagon Alley by yourself. It's too dangerous. You're not going anywhere alone."

"Stop," I placed a hand on his chest. He was already pulling a hat on. I smiled at he gave me a stern look. "You can't come. I've still got to get you a present and you're not allowed to see what it is. I'll be fine by myself, alright?"

Lupin hesitated and then sighed, taking his hat off, leaving his hair slightly disheveled. "You have to be careful," he said, touching my cheek with his warm hand. "Don't go wandering around, you hear me? You get your presents and come back. How many gifts do you have to get?"

"I need one for you, Harry, and Tonks."

"Be back soon – be careful!" He gave me a lingering kiss on the lips and I walked out the door, turning quickly on the spot, focusing on Diagon Alley.

As I landed hard on the cobblestone road, I realized that there was next to no one in Diagon Alley. I looked around at all the rundown shops and saw something – or someone – that caught my attention. A certain blonde headed male was walking down into Knockturn Alley, dressed in a black suit and looking around nervously.

Against my better judgment, I followed Malfoy into the dark, depressing Alley. I passed by all the staring witches and wizards, dressed in dirty clothes with holes in them. I felt my pocket, making sure I still had my wand. I traveled deeper into Knockturn Alley until I saw Malfoy turn into Borgin and Burkes.

I looked around quickly and, realizing that no one was around, I grabbed onto a brick that stuck out of the wall. I hoisted myself up the wall and then grabbed onto the window sill and looked down into the store. I wasn't that high up, but I held on tightly, knowing that no one down there was going to catch me if I needed to be caught.

Malfoy walked over to a cabinet and as he opened it, I felt my foot slip from the brick and my grip on the window sill and still holding onto the sill with one hand, I pulled out my wand. As I began to fall, I whispered, "_Arresto Momentum_!" And I landed gently on the ground.

But when I looked around to get out, I realized I had no idea where I was. People were beginning to fill the streets and I backed away from them all. I put my wand back in my pocket, afraid I was going to get hexed.

I backed right into someone and I turned around, terrified. The man towered over me and his skin was yellow and waxy. It seemed almost fake. He could have possibly been handsome at some point, but his greasy hair was matted to his sweaty, oily face. He smiled at me, revealing rotted, yellow, chipped teeth, some missing, and I backed up again, straight into the wall of a building.

"Lost, love?" he said in a raspy voice.

"I – I – no," I trembled. People all around were staring, dirty people exactly like the man before me. I swallowed. "I'm not lost." I shook my head.

"I can help you find your way back," he whispered in my ear. "Where was it you were going?" People were starting to come closer and they watched me anxiously. I stammered, my eyes darting around to the different shops.

And then, a hand clamped around my wrist and I screamed. I was yanked away from the man. "Get away from her, Gideon," said a deep, recognizable voice and I looked up to see Snape staring down at the man. Gideon sneered at Snape and then bowed quickly. He backed away into the shadows of Knockturn Alley. Snape then turned to me. "What do you think you're doing in here?"

I glanced around at all the people standing in the doorways of their ships. They were reaching for their pockets. In a shaky voice, I looked back up at Snape. "They're getting their wands out."

Snape took one look around at all the people and his voice sounded colder than usual. "Don't think about it." He nodded towards me. "She's with me."

Slowly and surprisingly, the wizards and witches put their hands down, their wands still away. I pulled my hat down and my scarf up, covering up everything on my face except for my eyes.

Snape put a hand on my shoulder and steered me out of Knockturn Alley. I was still trembling violently and when we reached the brightly lit, clean, and now more crowded street, I knew we were back in Diagon Alley. He turned to me again, and feeling much safer, I lowered my scarf from my mouth and adjusted my hat as the cold snow made my cheeks red. Snape was hardly dressed appropriately for such cold weather. Dressed in his usual black robes, he crossed his arms. "Care to explain?"

"I didn't know – I thought I saw something that seemed interesting – I had no idea!" I rambled. As people walked by, mostly students and their parents, they stared at Snape with eyebrows cocked until he sneered at them and they looked away. "I just wanted to finish my Christmas shopping – wait a minute – what were _you_ doing in Knockturn Alley?"

"That's none of your business, Miss Potter," he snapped. Snape and I began to walk down the street. People parted in the middle of the road for us and I assumed that Snape intimidated almost everyone that laid eyes on him. "Knockturn Alley has many disturbing things for sale," he told me grimly, looking straight ahead. I looked around at the shops. I knew what I wanted to get Harry, Tonks, and Lupin. Snape and I headed straight for the twins' joke shop. "Things that have killed people – Muggles and wizards alike. The people in Knockturn Alley don't start out looking like that."

"Why are they allowed to sell that stuff?" I asked and Snape shrugged slightly.

"I don't know, but if I see or hear that you've bought anything from there, I'll make sure you'll never see the light of day again."

I looked at the ground. "Why did he bow to you? Gideon or whatever his name was?"

"I did my fair share of bargaining there during my years at Hogwarts, but I hardly think that's a legitimate reason to be bowing to me."

"Well, even though you've gotten stuff there, you haven't turned out too horrible." I scrunched my nose. "Yet."

Snape didn't laugh. We approached the joke shop and Snape looked up at the tall, colorful building in disgust. "Buy what you need and I'll escort you back to the Burrow. I'll be waiting here." I hesitated and watched him look angrily at everyone staring at him. "Don't be too long."

I nodded and entered the joke shop. I suddenly realized where everyone was – there was nowhere else to be in Diagon Alley so everyone was in the joke shop. I smiled and when the twins heard the doorbell ring, they poked their heads into the main shop room and my eyes lit up as I saw them.

Rushing to meet me, the twins met me by the love potions. "Fancy meeting you here, Darcy," Fred grinned.

"Gotta finish up my Christmas shopping," I replied.

"Who've you got left?" George asked.

"Remus, Tonks, and Harry," I said. "And I think I'm going to get some Peruvian Darkness Powder for Harry. He already used his up from the beginning of the year."

"Take some," Fred grabbed some Peruvian Darkness Powder and thrust it into my hands. "It's on us."

"I couldn't – here, I've got some money for you," I tried to pull out some sickles, but Fred and George wouldn't have it.

"Whatever you want, you take, Darcy," George told me sternly. "You're our favorite customer."

"Please…" I shook my head and began walking around with the Powder, looking for things to get Lupin and Tonks. "I've got to hurry up. Professor Snape is waiting for me outside –"

"Snape? Why is he waiting for you?" Fred asked, sounding more than a bit confused.

"I ended up in Knockturn Alley," I blushed. "And he dragged me out of there without anyone killing me. Here, I think I'll get Remus some chocolate – I've already gotten him new robes –"

"Oh, that's not regular chocolate," George said quickly, grabbing the chocolate bar from my hands. "That'll make him have to go like crazy."

"Go where?" I asked blankly.

George stared at me and I widened my eyes.

"_Oh_," I said quietly. "Right… none of that. Well, I still don't know what to get Tonks. How about Extendable Ears?"

"I reckon Tonks would love some of those," Fred nodded. "Always trying to listen in on other peoples conversation."

I grabbed some Extendable Ears and my Peruvian Darkness Powder, reached in my coin purse and grabbed four Galleons. I placed them in Fred's hand. "Are you coming to celebrate Christmas at the Burrow? Not here?"

"We'll be there Christmas Eve, sometime in the afternoon," Fred told me, looking at the Galleons with a smile. He pocketed them. "See you then?"

"See you guys then."

"Have fun with Snape," George winked.

I exited the shop and almost immediately, Snape's fingers closed around my wrist again and we were suddenly flying through air. With a loud _pop!_, we landed in the front yard of the Burrow. Mr. Weasley happened to be in the shed outside and upon hearing the loud noise of Snape and me Apparating, he stuck his head out of the doorway.

"Severus? Darcy?" Mr. Weasley rushed over to us. "What are you doing here, Severus? Is something wrong? Darcy, are you okay?"

"Miss Potter had gotten herself stuck in a sticky situation, but she'll be okay. She's fine, now," Snape said calmly. "If you don't mind, I'll be going now."

Mr. Weasley nodded, still confused, and Snape's black figure spun quickly and with another _pop!_, he was gone. Mr. Weasley stared at me. "What happened to you?"

I think Mr. Weasley was scared that I had a run in with Death Eaters, but thankfully, that wasn't the case. "I just ended up in Knockturn Alley, but Snape got me out of there –"

"Darcy! We told you that you could go if you were careful!" Mr. Weasley scolded me. "You know better than that! You stay in Diagon Alley and go nowhere else! You look very pale, Darcy. I'm sorry to be yelling, but you're smarter than that, you know! Now let's go inside. I'll get you some tea, love. Knockturn Alley… I don't ever want you to buy anything from there! The Ministry could arrest you for owning some of those dark magic things!"

"I know, I know, I didn't mean to go to Knockturn Alley," I said, cradling my Christmas gifts in my arms.

"Alright, well, I'll put some tea on the stove and you go wrap those, okay?" he said, putting an around my shoulders. "Hurry up now, you don't want everyone seeing their gifts before Christmas day, do you? It was good of Severus to escort you back – you could seriously have been hurt! You don't know what kinds of creeps are lurking in Knockturn Alley."

"I think I know now, actually," I replied.

"Just be careful, Darcy, honestly. You're lucky that Death Eaters didn't get to you. Then you could have been really hurt – possibly killed!"

"I'll be more careful next time."

"Next time I think Remus should just go with you!" Mr. Weasley held the front door open for me and I walked in, rushing up the stairs and dumping my gifts on my bed.


	17. Christmas Dinner

**CHRISTMAS DINNER.**

I pleaded Mr. Weasley not to tell anyone about what happened in Diagon Alley and about Snape and he quietly agreed, not telling a soul. Christmas Eve had rolled around and Tonks had finally arrived a little bit after the twins.

Fred, George, Lupin and I were sitting in the living room. I had also asked them not to tell anyone about Snape, but because the twins knew about Lupin's hatred of him, I don't think they would have told anyone in the first place, knowing Lupin would get mad.

Tonks walked into the living room to greet the four of us, still wrapping up in her large coat, Hufflepuff colored scarf, and a black hat pulled down to her eyes. Mittens covered her hands and she began to peel those off her as the roaring fire in the fireplace warmed us all. Celestina Warbeck played on the radio, as it did every Christmas, and Mrs. Weasley was singing in the kitchen, preparing ham.

"Hey," she said breathlessly. "Just got here."

"It's great to see you," I smiled at her. It was weird – I was still upset at her, so I didn't want to get up and hug her and kiss her cheek like everything was okay. Fred and George waved; Lupin smiled weakly at her and looked away quickly. "I didn't think you were coming."

"Oh, yeah, I had stuff to do for Hogwarts – Dumbledore asked me…" she sounded awkward and then she backed up. "I should probably help Molly with dinner. She's doing it all by herself… not using magic or anything."

When she left the room, Fred and George seemed to sense the tension and they got up and ran up the stairs, talking about sales at their joke shop. That left Lupin and me by ourselves. "I don't want to feel sorry for her, but I kind of do," I sighed quietly so no one would hear us. "I mean, it just seems like she hasn't got any other friends besides us. You know, Harry, Ron, Hermione, me, you –"

Lupin was staring at the fire, completely silent. I leaned back my head on his chest and looked up at him.

"Hello? Remus? Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then what did I say?"

He didn't answer. I sat up and took his hands, standing up and pulling him to his feet. "Come on, let's go get something to drink. Dinner will be ready soon." I pecked his cheek and, lacing our fingers together, pulled him into the kitchen. Tonks wasn't in there. "Mrs. Weasley, where did Tonks go?"

"Hm? Oh, I believe she's out in the shed with Arthur, dear," Mrs. Weasley responded, wiping beads of sweat off her forehead with her sleeve. "Darcy, could you call everyone down for dinner? I think they're all in their rooms. I'll go get Tonks and Arthur. Remus, could you put the food on the table, please…?"

I smiled at her appreciatively and Lupin let go of my hand. He grabbed the ham first and put it in the center of the small table and I walked up the first flight of stairs. "Dinner's ready!"

Ginny walked out of her room on the first floor and raced down the stairs with Arnold the Pygmy Puff on her shoulder ("_No_, Ginny, put that away at dinner time, please!). Fred and George came bounding out of their second floor bedroom, chuckling and giving me a wink while passing me on the stairs. Finally, Ron, Hermione, and Harry came slowly out of Ron's fifth floor room with serious faces.

The dinner table was small and cramped and crowded. There seemed to be too much food, but Mrs. Weasley was always trying to feed us until we wanted to explode. She looked nervously around from her spot at the table and bit down on her bottom lip. Tonks was beside her and sitting at the end of the table was her husband. Chairs were packed around the table.

"Oh no, I'll go eat in the living room – there isn't enough room here for everyone," Mrs. Weasley said, close to tears. Everyone knew how much she worked making family dinners for Christmas. Her children began to protest and as she stood up, Mr. Weasley took her hand and prevented her from leaving the kitchen with her plate, which was hardly full. She wouldn't take any food until everyone had enough on their own.

"There's plenty of room!" Lupin reassured her, looking around the table. We all sat down, Lupin taking the empty seat beside Mrs. Weasley, and I sat beside Lupin and George. Our elbows were touching and it was a bit difficult to move around to get food, but I didn't complain. I put on a smile and looked at Mrs. Weasley. "We'll all be fine sitting here. Dinner looks lovely, Molly, thank you."

Mrs. Weasley closed her eyes and dry sobbed, throwing her arms around Lupin's neck and he patted her back, grinning at me awkwardly. Mr. Weasley nodded and winked, grabbing some ham for himself. Part of me believed that Mr. Weasley chose not to sit next to his wife because he knew how emotional she became during times like those. Mrs. Weasley let go of Lupin and wiped her teary eyes.

"Everyone eat up, eat up! Especially you, Harry! And you, Darcy! Every year I see you, you just get skinnier and skinnier – don't you eat at Hogwarts?" Mrs. Weasley watched as everyone piled meat and vegetables onto their plates and glasses were being filled with pumpkin juice and eggnog. "But save some room, I made a delicious treacle tart and there are lots of cookies and pies for everyone!"

George and I smiled at each other, chuckling a little bit while Mrs. Weasley wasn't watching. George, Lupin, and I kept bumping elbows as we tried to cut our food and eat it and even though I was beginning to feel slightly claustrophobic, I didn't let Mrs. Weasley know. I think everyone felt the same way, perhaps even Mrs. Weasley herself.

"Now, after dinner and dessert," Mrs. Weasley continued, trumping everyone else's conversation and making her family go quiet. "We'll have the gifts placed under the tree – I think there will be a lot of gifts this year, especially since Fred and George have their own shop!

"And then, tomorrow, we'll all wake up in the morning and when everyone is downstairs, we'll open gifts together!" She smiled proudly, watching us all eat while barely eating herself. Ron was already treating himself to his second helping of cranberry sauce. "Is everyone enjoying themselves? How is the food?"

"It's delicious, Molly," Mr. Weasley said, saving everyone else from answering. "Just like every year."

"You're too sweet, Arthur."

"Thank you, dear."

After Mrs. Weasley's short outbursts, we all began to have different conversations and a small murmur filled the kitchen, complete with Celestina Warbeck singing in the background. I had to admit, the whole atmosphere made me happier than I had been in weeks. I spoke softly to Lupin, still bumping elbows with him every time I brought my fork up to my mouth to eat.

"Are you excited for Christmas?" I asked him and he smiled.

"Oh yes," he teased. "I know that with you as my girlfriend, you'll take care of me." We both laughed quietly.

"Anything for you," I replied with a smile and raised eyebrows.

"Ah," he licked his lips and looked away from me, picking at his ham while smiling. "You don't have to worry, love. I've definitely taken care of you this year."

"Is that so?"

"Well, as the male in this relationship," he began and I stifled a giggle. "I feel that it is my duty to make you feel like the happiest and luckiest girl in the entire world. That's my goal for this Christmas." I shook my head and laughed as our elbows collided once more. Lupin somewhat maneuvered his body so he was closer to me. He whispered in my ear, "Don't worry about that elbow, Darcy, I'll kiss it better later – and anywhere else that hurts."

I felt my cheeks go hot as he continued to eat as if he had said nothing and I avoided eye contact with everyone else for a little.

"Did I embarrass you?" joked Lupin and I looked up at him, rolling my eyes.

"Don't say that stuff in the middle of dinner!" I scolded him quietly.

"Why? Scared someone is going to hear us?" He had this big, stupid, cocky grin on his face and it didn't fail to make me smile bigger. "What's the big deal?"

"Because that's private!" I argued.

Lupin just laughed. No one glanced our way because they were all having their own conversations. "Come on, darling," he answered. "Live a little, would you?"

I frowned as he continued to chortle under his breath. Clearing my throat, I sat up a little straighter and looked around quickly. I brought my right hand underneath the table as Mrs. Weasley began chatting with Lupin. He was smiling and talking about how Hogwarts was treating him when I suddenly squeezed his upper thigh and he sucked in a sharp breath. Mrs. Weasley looked at him weirdly and when he continued, his voice seemed constricted and his words seemed forced from his mouth. His body tensed and he covered my hand with his left.

Mrs. Weasley then turned to Tonks to talk and when Lupin looked at me, I saw that his face was a bit red. "Darcy," he whispered, drawing in another deep breath as I squeezed his thigh again. "What are you doing?"

I shrugged innocently and smiled sweetly at him. "You okay?" I asked so George could probably hear us. "You seem a little tense."

"Darcy," he breathed.

"What's wrong?" I asked him in a quiet tone. I moved my hand higher up his thigh a little. His whole thigh tensed up and he grasped my hand tightly. "Live a little, Remus."

"Not –" he said, fidgeting as my hand moved slightly higher. "Here –"

I smirked, moving my hand up to his groin and when he shook his head and tensed and fidgeted and looked a little uncomfortable sitting, I pulled my hand away and continued to eat my dinner as if nothing had just happened.

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When dinner and dessert was over, the table was cleared off, and all the gifts had been placed under the tree, everyone except Lupin and I retreated to their bedrooms. After eating so much food, we were all tired.

I poked my head into the sitting room where Lupin was, half asleep, and sitting on the couch. He had turned off the wireless so it was silent except for the crackling of the fire. I smiled and walked in front of him to sit in the armchair, but he grabbed my wrists and pulled me into his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You really don't think you're going to get off that easy for your little stunt tonight, did you?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. I laughed. He pressed his lips to my neck, kissing me hungrily. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Not here," I whispered with a small grin. "Not in the sitting room. Someone could walk down the stairs and see us."

"They're all sleeping," Lupin replied, his breath hot against my skin. I felt my spine tingle. "No one will see us."

"Remus, this isn't even our house," I gasped and then grabbed his face, forcing him to look at me. "Follow me – quietly."

He groaned and then agreed as I stood up and grabbed his hands, pulling him into the kitchen. I grabbed his coat off the coat rack and gave it to him while I slipped on my shoes and buttoned up my coat. I silently unlocked the door to outside and opened it for him. He followed me outside and closed it soundlessly behind him.

"Come on!" I whispered and I took his hand again. We ran outside of the Burrow's gardens and when we were a significant distance away from the Weasley home, I smiled at him. "Ready?" He gave me a confused look and I turned on the spot, disappearing into the cold night air.

We landed directly on the doorstep to Grimmauld Place and Lupin landed a bit off balance.

"All your limbs still connected to your body?" I asked, looking to see that he hadn't been splinched. Lupin nodded. I opened the door. We took our coats and shoes off in the hallway. "You see, now that Sirius is –" I stopped talking and licked my lips. "Well, 12 Grimmauld Place belongs to Harry and me now. We're safe here."

"What about Kreacher?"

I snapped my fingers. "Kreacher!"

The nasty house elf appeared before me, causing Lupin to jump. Kreacher fixed his bloodshot eyes on Lupin. "Oh," his chapped lips twisted into a malicious smile. "The werewolf – the Death Eaters will be coming –"

"Kreacher, enough!" I shouted and the house elf was reluctant to obey me, but he did so anyway. "I would like you to go up into Buckbeak's old room and I want you to stay up there until I call you again. Understand? You are not to leave this house and you are not allowed to tell anyone that Remus and I are here! No one can know that we were here, got it?"

"Yes, Mistress," Kreacher bowed low to the ground. "Kreacher will stay in the room and not tell a soul."

I nodded. "Yeah… well, that's the spirit…" Before Kreacher disappeared, I stopped him. "And you aren't to speak to Remus unless you've got something nice to say!"

Kreacher bowed again and then he was gone.

"You didn't have to tell him that," Lupin told me gently, touching my hand. "What he said wasn't mean, it was the truth."

"Well," I told him. "You know that you're a – a werewolf – you don't need Kreacher to remind you of it."

"And the _Daily Prophet_ says things about you that you don't want to hear, but I can't do anything about it, even though I wish I could."

I opened my mouth to speak, but I was lost for words. My heart was racing. "Really?"

Lupin smiled. "Where were we again?"

I blushed and he looked around swiftly, took my hands and led me upstairs to the room he stayed in when he was with Sirius. I kicked the door shut behind me and he kissed my neck again, slowly leading me to the queen sized bed in the corner of the room. I was starting to breathe heavier by the minute. "We've got to be back before morning," I told him softly, letting him lay me down and climb on top of me.

"I know," he whispered, kissing my lips. "Don't worry."

He smiled down at me and I smiled back. I ran my hands up his shirt and lifted it over his head, throwing it away to the side. His lips met mine again and he trailed his fingers up my leg, making me squirm underneath him. Lupin worked quickly to remove my clothes and we soon were naked, our bodies pressed together, sweat forming on our foreheads.

For some reason, I was nervous. I had made love to Lupin before, plenty of times, but something about that night made me nervous. I think he knew, even though I didn't tell him, because he was very gentle with me and he didn't seem rushed. He took everything slow and kept looking into my eyes and kissing my lips softly, almost reassuring me that I was okay without speaking.

He placed a soft kiss on my forehead and then on my neck. "I'm in love with you," I blurted out.

Lupin stopped kissing me and looked at me. He searched my face and I blinked a few times, breathing in deeply. I touched his shoulders. A huge smile swept over his face and he kissed my lips again. I kept my eyes closed even as he pulled away and he dragged his fingertips down my stomach, stopping right at my waist. "You have to look at me, Darcy."

I opened my eyes and saw him looking right at me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied quietly.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded and closed my eyes again as he lowered himself and I breathed in sharply, my toes curling.


	18. Forgiveness

**sorry for this - I think it's kind of a sucky chapter.. but anywho, enjoy!**

**FORGIVENESS. **

"Darcy."

Lupin was gently shaking me awake. I groaned and pulled the sheet up higher on my body, shivering. "Go back to sleep," I sighed and I rolled over, my back facing him. I heard Lupin chuckle. "Shh."

"Terribly sorry I wore you out last night," he joked. "But we've got to get back to the Burrow. I expect Molly will be waking up soon to start on a huge breakfast. It's almost five in the morning."

"And we can't just have breakfast here?" I asked, opening my eyes slightly to see that it was still dark outside. I shut my eyes again. "I'll get Kreacher to make us something… or I'll just make us something… Or you could make me something…"

"If you don't care about being scolded and yelled at for staying the night here with me by Molly, then so be it, I'll make you breakfast. I, on the other hand, am a bit tired of her telling me that I'm completely wrong for you."

"Don't listen to her," I replied. "You know that what she says is crazy and it isn't true. You're perfect for me."

"I try not to let it get to me, love," he said. "But it's a tad difficult when she reminds me every time she sees us in the same room."

"She's only telling you that because she's still unsure of our relationship. She's still convinced that you're with me for the wrong reasons, but she doesn't know what happens when she isn't around." I frowned and rolled over, propping myself up on my elbows. He looked at me. Lupin was completely dressed already, flattening his sandy brown hair with his fingers. "Is she beginning to convince you that you don't really love me? Is she making you believe that you are with me for the wrong reasons? If she is, don't be shy, Remus, spit it out. Tell me if something is bothering you. I thought we were done worrying about all the factors going into this relationship."

"Darcy, don't get me wrong, I love you more than anything."

My face fell and I laid back on my back, staring up at the ceiling and sighing quietly. "Is she making you think you don't love me?"

"Darcy Potter, you listen to me right now." He sat down on the bed and looked me directly in the eyes, speaking in a serious tone. "I would die if it meant you could live. I'd starve if it meant you could eat. I would do anything for you, Darcy, and you wouldn't even have to ask. I'm sorry that I can't show you how much I really love you, but… but it's hard. All these years I've been this lonely, old, werewolf and then you came alone and now I'm not so alone anymore. If you want something from me, tell me, and I'd be glad to do it."

I pursed my lips. "I want you to kiss me."

"You know you can kiss me whenever you'd like."

"But I like it when you kiss me first." I smiled and he pressed his lips softly to mine.

He pulled away quickly and lifted me in his arms. I screamed and he placed me lightly on my feet. "You've got to get dressed. Unfortunately, I don't think the Weasleys – or your brother – would want you walking around naked." He turned away to make the bed.

I smiled at him as I clipped my bra on and pulled my underwear up. When he turned back around, he laughed.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" he asked and I shrugged, pulling up my jeans and buttoning them.

"I just –" I crossed my arms and blushed. "I just really love you, you know that?" I looked away and continued to get dressed, but Lupin walked over to me and held my chin gingerly with his fingers. He lifted my face and kissed me.

"I love you, too. Now come on, let's go back to the Burrow." He waited for me to finish dressing and we walked down to the front door, putting our coats and shoes on. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and he ran his fingers through my hair, combing it a bit.

I snapped. "Kreacher!" Kreacher appeared directly in front of me and bowed, his long nose almost touching the floor. "We're leaving now – you can come out of the room. Listen to me, Kreacher. Do not tell anyone we were here – anyone – okay? Do not leave this house. Happy Christmas."

"Yes, Mistress." And the house elf bowed once more, turning around and slowly climbing the stairs.

Lupin and I stepped out onto the front step of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was still dark out and I couldn't see the sun anywhere in the sky. The wind was cold and I shivered. Snow fell in sheets onto the ground, which already was covered with a good two inches of snow. Lupin grabbed my hand and we turned on the spot, focused on the Burrow.

Instead of Apparating a long way from the Burrow, we landed closer to the house and we trudged through the snow to the front door, which we opened silently and closed just as quietly. No one was awake yet and the inside of the Burrow was considerably warming than outside. "I'm tired," I moaned and Lupin helped take my coat off. We took off our shoes and I walked right into the living room. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and flicked his wrist, causing a fire to burn brightly in the large fireplace.

I sat down on the couch and he sat down beside me. I laid down, resting my head in his lap and closed my eyes. He grabbed a blanket and threw it over me. I curled up, the fire warming me, and he ran his fingers through my hair until I fell back asleep.

I woke up again around eight o'clock with breakfast on the table, everyone else already awake. They had already eaten, letting Lupin and me sleep a bit longer. Lupin waited until I sat up so he wouldn't disturb me and we walked together to breakfast; I kept the blanket wrapped around my shoulders as I sat down beside Lupin. Mr. Weasley was reading the newspaper at the table, as well.

"How come you two slept on the couch last night?" Mrs. Weasley asked casually, dumping sausage onto my place.

"It was cold upstairs," I answered.

"Oh?" Mrs. Weasley scraped eggs onto Lupin's plate. "When did you go downstairs?"

I cleared my throat. "Around midnight."

"Around four."

Lupin and I spoke at exactly the same time and I glared at him. Mrs. Weasley didn't seem to be listening, but she hummed, scrubbing the pan and then waving her wand, making the sponge magically do it. Mr. Weasley, on the other hand, looked up from his paper and when Mrs. Weasley left the kitchen to go change out of her pajamas, he asked, "Where were you really?"

I figured I should just tell the truth. It was only Mr. Weasley. Lupin continued to eat, not wanting to speak anymore. I shrugged. "Grimmauld Place."

"Need I ask why?" Mr. Weasley asked more sternly.

"I – I don't think you need to," I replied nervously. I avoided eye contact with Mr. Weasley, stuffing my face with sausage.

"Darcy," Mr. Weasley sighed. "You know you aren't to leave here. It's dangerous out there by yourself."

"But I wasn't by myself," I replied shortly. "I had Remus with me and he'd protect me from danger – if there was any."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Go on, Remus, open up!" Mrs. Weasley encouraged him and he unwrapped the new robes and shirts I had gotten him. He turned his head to look at me and smiled. "Those are lovely!"

"They are, aren't they?" he grinned and kissed the top of my head. No one seemed to care; they were all laughing and opening their own presents. Tonks, however, glanced our way and bit her lip and Mrs. Weasley raised her eyebrows at us. Lupin and I ignored it. "Thank you, love. They're wonderful." He reached for a gift that had my name on it. "Ah, here, this one is from me."

I slowly opened it and when I did, I breathed in deeply and looked at him. He was smiling wide and when I held it up, all eyes were on me. My cheeks burned red with embarrassment. It was the bracelet I had given him back the year before. Everyone had gone quiet and Fred and George were grinning, Fred elbowing me on my right hand side. "You – you didn't have to – you didn't have to do this," I whispered.

"Of course I did," he replied. His cheeks were turning pink and he shrugged. "You're my girl."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"That's a beautiful bracelet," Tonks said, poking her head in the archway to the sitting room. I was the only one sitting in the small room and she joined me, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch.

"Hm?" I scrunched my nose. Hadn't she ever seen it before? Hadn't Lupin ever given it to her? "It is, isn't it?" I tried to hide it so she wouldn't have to look at it… I didn't want to wave it right under her nose, knowing that she still loved Lupin.

"So you've forgiven him?"

"I suppose I have," I told her stiffly. It was silent and I stood up. "I think I'll go upstairs. I'm a bit tired."

I ran up the stairs and opened the door to Lupin's room (Mrs. Weasley made up separate for some reason). He was lying in bed, reading, and I smiled. I loved watching him read. There was just something so calming about not talking and just sitting comfortably in the silence with him. I stared at him and he stared back at me.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked and his eyes flicked to my wrist, where my bracelet was.

"Tonks," I whispered.

"What about her?"

"It's just awkward," I said simply and I shrugged.

"Darcy," he sighed. Lupin shut his book and stood up, crossing his arms. "You can't do this to her. It's not fair to her."

"What do you mean it's not fair? She kissed you – she betrayed me and went back on her promise! I think that being upset is pretty damn fair, don't you think?"

"_I_ was the one that kissed her. She wouldn't have kissed me if I hadn't went up to her first."

"But she kissed you back!" I protested.

Lupin shook his head. "That's not the point. Both Tonks and I did something very wrong that night and you've forgiven me completely, but you won't even think about forgiving Tonks." I looked at my feet and blushed. Perhaps Lupin was right. "I know you love me a bit more than her, but just because I can make love to you and Tonks can't doesn't mean that she shouldn't be forgiven." He smirked.

"It's just different," I told him honestly.

"How so?"

"She loves you," I replied. "She loves you and kissed you because she loves you! You kissed her because you wanted to spite me!" I paused. "Right? You don't love her back, do you?"

"No, I don't love her back," he said calmly. "If I loved her, she would be the one wearing that bracelet, not you. But you've got to forgive her."

"But I don't want to."

"Who else do you have?" Lupin asked. "Who else do you have that'll be a friend like Tonks was to you?"

"You don't understand how much it hurt me to watch her kiss you," I swallowed loudly. "And then when I went to talk to her, she admitted that she loved you! And she'll be mad at me no matter what I do!"

"Well," he snorted. "Surely you aren't going to leave me just because Tonks is mad at you? I mean, I would never force you to pick between me and Tonks, but you can't – you wouldn't – I wouldn't leave you for that reason. If my best friend loved you, I wouldn't break up with you just because of that."

"No, no, I'm not going to leave you," I sighed. "_Ever_. I just don't know what to do. What'll happen when I forgive her? And then I earn her trust? And what if she just goes out and kisses you again?"

"I won't let her kiss me," Lupin smiled and he took my hands. "The only person I want kissing me is you, Darcy."

I kissed his cheek. "Okay, I'll talk to her tomorrow morning."

"Good for you." He touched my cheeks and kissed me. In one swift movement, my new sweater Mrs. Weasley had made me was off and he picked me up and laid me down on the bed, taking my pants off. I smiled into the kiss and he kissed my chest and down my stomach.

As my fingers worked to take his shirt off, there was a loud crash outside and I gasped, jumping up. Lupin and I ran to the window and saw the ring of fire circling the Burrow. "Remus! Remus!" But I didn't have to scream; he was standing right beside me, his eyes wide. Footsteps crashed outside our door and I turned around, grabbed a bathrobe and ran out down the steps.

"Darcy!" Lupin shouted, throwing a shirt on and chasing after me. "Darcy! Come back! Don't go out there! _Darcy_!"


	19. The Truth

**Sorry for the long wait, guys! School and softball and my social life has taken over, but I promise, I WILL NOT GIVE UP AND ABANDON THIS STORY. I have the first few chapters of the next and final story already written so when I end this story, I won't just stop writing. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**THE TRUTH.**

I ran outside and Mr. Weasley grabbed my arm as Lupin caught up to me. Bellatrix Lestrange grinned at me and, followed by two other Death Eaters, ran back into the large cornfield. Someone pushed me from behind and Harry ran towards them, through the fire.

"Harry!" I screamed and I ripped my arm out of Mr. Weasley's grip and ran after my brother. With Lupin shouting my name behind me, I ran up to the fire, but instead of letting me go through it, it attacked in the form of a snake and burnt my left cheek. I cried out in pain, waved my wand and made a path, running through it. Lupin ran after me a few seconds after. With my blood boiling with hatred, I listened carefully for Bellatrix's laugh. "HARRY!"

With my left cheek throbbing painfully, I gripped my wand tighter and stopped in the middle of the field, looking around. I heard Lupin still calling my name behind me and I began to sprint again. I heard footsteps to my right and I gasped, pointing my wand at that area, but I found that it was just Harry.

"Harry," I breathed and I ran over to him.

" I heard footsteps to my right and I gasped, pointing my wand at that area, but I found that it was just Harry.

"Harry," I breathed and I ran over to him. I grabbed his arm, but as Bellatrix began to sing, Harry ran off towards her. I followed him closely, ignoring the cries of protests from Lupin _and_ Ginny, now calling Harry's name as well. We ran up to Bellatrix, grinning at us, her crooked teeth showing.

"_DARCY_!"

Lupin had come running up to us and Bellatrix threw her head back and laughed. Her eyes widened. "Is that the _werewolf_?" she sneered. "Do you _love_ him? Filthy half-breed!" She spat at Lupin, but he didn't flinch.

She turned around, about to Disapparate, but I pointed my wand at her. "_Stupefy_!" I screamed. Ginny had caught up with us. Bellatrix fell to the ground and breathed heavily, looking up at him. I stepped forward, keeping my wand pointed at her. Her eyes moved over my face to the right of me and I turned to see two other Death Eaters getting closer. A masked one and another that I recognized – Fenir Greyback. I had seen his face on the wanted posters too much to not recognize him. Lupin, Ginny, and Harry moved closer to me, their wands pointed at the Death Eaters. My cheeks were red and hot with embarrassment, but Lupin seemed to have already forgotten about Bellatrix's outburst.

Bellatrix jumped to her feet, disappearing before my eyes and I gasped, looking around. The other Death Eaters had gone as well. I looked slowly back to the spot where Bellatrix had been seconds before and she was there again. With a quick flick of her wrist, white light shot from her wand and hit the side of my face, right on my left cheekbone. I cried out and dropped to my knees, holding my face, but before I could retaliate, she was gone, this time for good.

Harry helped me to my feet and I heard a loud popping noise. Ginny was staring at the dark smoke billowing from the ring of fire around the Burrow. She breathed in and ran quickly to her house, Harry following her. My heart thumped wildly in my chest as Lupin inspected my cheek and breathed unevenly. My feet were wet from running in the water and I could see my breath each time I breathed out.

Blood oozed from the deep slice in my cheek and Lupin tried cleaning it with a spell, but it wouldn't stop bleeding, so with his violently shaking hands, he ripped a piece of his shirt and held it against my cheek. He stuck his wand back in the waistband of his pants and held the other side of my face.

"Why did you do that?" he asked, shaking my head slightly. "Why would you go after them? You could have been killed!"

"She killed Sirius, Remus!" I replied, tears building in my eyes. I was so scared at that moment, I couldn't think straight. He wrapped an arm around me, one hand still holding the shirt fabric to my cheek and he kissed the top of my head. "She killed him! You really don't expect me to run away from that, do you?"

"That's exactly what I expected you to do!" he shouted. "I don't need you getting hurt – or even worse! Killed! What if Greyback had bitten you?"

There was another crash – Lupin and I both looked towards the Burrow to see that it was ignited in flames. Lupin sighed and my heart sank. We looked at each other and he lifted me in his arms, instructing me to keep pressure on my cheek. He ran as fast as he could towards the Burrow and I kept my arm wrapped around his neck. I was crying; my tears fell onto his shirt and I closed my eyes. We were near the Burrow. I could feel the hot flames on my skin and I kept whispering to him, "Don't put me down… please don't let me go…"

He didn't.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We all returned to Hogwarts while the Ministry worked on the Burrow, fixing the house up. My wound wouldn't stop bleeding, so Lupin had some help from Madam Pomfrey to enchant a bandage to keep it from bleeding. As long as I wore the bandage, I wouldn't bleed, but the wound wouldn't heal. She suggested seeing Slughorn for an antidote, for she was running low on potions and ingredients, but Lupin, without me even having to say anything, brought me straight to Snape.

He explained what had happened and removed the bandage. Almost immediately, the wound began gushing blood and I yelped, seeing the dark red blood spill onto the floor. Lupin pressed the bandage to my face and shrugged. Snape told me firmly to sit on his desk and he began to work.

Twenty minutes later, Snape had brought out a potion and Lupin had excused himself to talk to Lupin. My heart got considerably lighter at the thought that Lupin was beginning to trust me with Snape by myself. Then that got me thinking – I hadn't apologized to Tonks.

Snape brought me back to reality. The slice on my cheek burned as he held a sopping wet rag to it, and with his other hand, he stirred a potion still brewing in his old cauldron. The pressure on my cheek increased as he pressed harder, not realizing it, and I gasped.

"Ouch!" I said loudly, jumping away from him. "That's hurt!"

Snape said nothing, but beckoned me closer again and I moved my face to his hand again. He held the rag to my burn. "Why is it that you're always hurt?" he asked me and I shrugged, looking away. "I've never had to heal so many injuries before on a single person."

I bit the inside of my cheek – the one that was burnt. Snape must have felt it, because he snapped, "Stop." I looked up and stopped biting my cheek.

I sighed as Snape pulled his rag away and I touched my cheek. Miraculously, he had slowed the bleeding. He put the rag down and pulled out a ladle, scooping some of the potion from his cauldron into a goblet. He handed it to me and I raised an eyebrow. "What is that?" I demanded.

"For your anxiety," he replied. "It'll calm your nerves after what happened the other day."

"Oh." I took the goblet from him and drank it quickly. It tasted like dirt and I closed my eyes tight and swallowed it all. "That's disgusting!"

Snape pressed the rag to my face again and with his wand in the air, he began murmuring incantations.

"Do you think Remus really loves me?" I whispered.

"Are you really asking me this?" Snape shot back coldly.

"I mean, I can't really tell with him. Sometimes it's like he loves me more than anything, and other times I just can't figure him out. Well, these past few days, he's been great to me, but we fight so much… And this is weird. You. You're always helping me instead of Remus and I'm gonna go ahead and take a wild guess here – pretty sure you don't love me."

Snape's black eyes met my green ones. "Pretty good guess." He paused, still dabbing at my cheek. "Do you want to know what I think?" His voice was quiet and I narrowed my eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do, actually."

"Great, because I've been meaning to tell you for some time, now." Still fixing my cheek, he spoke. "I think you're an arrogant child. Someone who obviously doesn't know their limits. Who constantly puts their toe over the line because they think the rules don't apply to them because they're a Potter."

I stared at him, but he still didn't look at me.

"Don't you realize that you aren't just putting yourself in danger when you go after Death Eaters like Bellatrix? Don't you see what happens to you? You're putting everyone else around you in danger," he hissed. "You think that every single time you get hurt or you're in danger, someone will be there to rescue you and be able to fix up all those battle scars you get. Not everyone is like you. The danger you put yourself into is life threatening – it's worse than you realize and most people, like Lupin, are terrified. One day, he'll stop chasing you because he isn't going to put his life on the line to rescue you from near death experiences. He, like many others, isn't as brave as you."

"I – I –" Snape had insulted me. I hadn't expected him to go so far and so low.

"You're being just like your father – selfish, who thought of no one but himself. You need to learn when to stop. You keep getting hurt like this and one day, you'll end up dead and then who will be there to help you? Hasn't your brother or your blessed boyfriend taught you that –"

"Stop!" I cried, standing up to my full height of 5'6. Compared to his height, it was nothing, but I felt stronger when I was tall and standing up to him. He raised his eyebrows, an amused smirk playing on his face. "Stop it! You know that isn't true! I'm not selfish or arrogant and neither was my father! You are just blaming him and Remus because for once, you've got no one but yourself to blame! You're too proud to blame yourself for not being able to save me from danger for once!"

Snape's eyes widened as I continued, now just rambling.

"I am not selfish! I care about Harry and Remus and Ron and Hermione more than life itself! And you know what?" I jabbed a finger into his chest. "I even care about you! I know that that might come as a shock to you because no one else has positive feelings towards you, but now I'm starting to feel differently! You're cruel, mean, judgmental, and you have no reason to think those things about me or Remus! So just stop it! I don't know why you insist on taking care of me like it's your job, but I am not a child! I can fend for myself!"

"Are you sure about that?" Snape sneered, getting closer to my face, but I didn't back down. "You got hurt and since Madam Pomfrey couldn't help you, you came to me. And here I am, brewing potions for you when it isn't even my job anymore. And when Draco almost melted your arm off? Your brother brought you to me, not to the hospital wing like he should have! Don't forget in your last year when your bloody boyfriend attacked you. Don't forget who was there to save the day then!

"And it's not just the physical stuff that I deal with. No, no. How many times have you sat in my office and rambled to me and complained to me about how horrible your life is? How much you hated your life? Who was the one to make sure Umbridge didn't ban you from Hogwarts? How many times has Lupin been there to listen to you, hm? Has anyone else ever sat down with you and actually listened to your miserable life and all your problems?"

"You're only doing this on Dumbledore's orders – protecting me…" I stammered.

Snape's voice was like ice. "You think I'm Dumbledore's pet?" he snarled. "You think I can't function and think and act for myself? You think I haven't got a heart? You honestly believe that I'm that evil?"

I pursed my lips.

"I don't take care of you and save you and fix you up because Dumbledore tells me to. I don't even do it because I want it to be my job; I do it all because you _make_ it my job."

I breathed in deeply and snapped, "Well, you don't have to protect me anymore. I'm not a child."

And then, Snape got even closer to my face and spoke in the coldest and meanest tone I had ever heard in my life. "Then stop acting like one." He wiped my face with the rag once more, showed me that there was no more blood, and he turned. Snape threw the rag to the side of the room and strode to the other side of his desk, slamming a book down and adding, without looking up at my surprised face, "That was a problem your father had. He could never seem to be able to grow up, either."

I ran out of Snape's office and slammed the wooden door shut, leaning against it. I was hurt and offended. I felt like Snape had bottled up all of that for years and just now he was admitting it all. I had no idea what I did to make him so angry, but it made _me_ angry.

I stormed back to my quarters; Lupin still wasn't back. I collapsed on our bed and closed my eyes, wrapping myself up in the blankets. Was Snape really right about me? Was I nothing more than a troublemaker? Was I really arrogant and selfish? Just like my father? Was I really diving headfirst into danger that could get me killed?

Of course I was. Death Eaters wanted me and Harry, but there were plenty of opportunities where I could have died and I didn't. Why wasn't I already dead? I deserved to be dead. No, I thought. I couldn't think that way. I was happy. Snape couldn't ruin how happy I was. Having Lupin love me caused me to be the happiest I had been in months – possibly years.

But Snape was right. Whenever I was in trouble, he was usually the one to help me. He looked over me and I didn't want to think that he protected me because he cared. I wished it was Lupin who took care of me like Snape did. I wish Lupin was the one brewing potions and wiping my face.

I didn't want Lupin to be put in danger at all, life threatening or not. When I thought about all that I had put him through, I started to cry.


	20. A Maturing Relationship

**A MATURING RELATIONSHIP.**

"Good God, Darcy! What's wrong?"

Lupin was knocking on the door and even though it was locked and he could have easily opened it with magic, he didn't. He respected me enough to wait until I opened the door for him. He opened the door slowly and poked his head inside. When I didn't throw anything at him or attack him, he walked in the room, closing the door behind him. He sat down beside me on the bed and rubbed my back as I began to cry silently. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I don't mean to put you in so much danger! I don't want you to be hurt!"

Lupin sighed. "Darcy, listen to me," he said softly. "There are so many things that I want to say to you right now, but I feel like everything I say will simply make it worse. I'm not good at cheering people up. I only make you cry when I try." He paused. "Did Severus upset you?"

I nodded my head.

"Don't let him get to you, okay? You know what he's like," Lupin continued. "You don't have to tell me what he said, but I'm sure it's not true. Severus cares about you."

I didn't say anything.

"Look at me, Darcy. I want to see you." I rolled over and looked at him. Lupin smiled and touching my chin. His eyes flicked to the cut on my face, but then back up to my eyes. He brushed his lips against mine. "That's better." He kept his face close to mine and I could taste his breath on my lips.

"I'm acting like a child," I told him quickly. Lupin shook his head and grasped my hand, his thumb caressing the top of my hand. "Please. Leave me alone. I don't want you to see me like this."

"You're not acting like a child," Lupin reassured me. "You're sad. It's okay to have a good cry once in a while. After all you've been through, it's okay to cry."

"Then how come you're not crying?" I asked him through tears. He pursed his lips together, trying to find an answer. I wasn't sure if he had already planned out an answer and didn't want to voice it, or he just didn't know.

"Tell me why you're crying."

I looked up at him with sad eyes. "Because all the danger – I could have died last night. I could have died the year before and the year before that and the one before that. And even though I'm in so much danger, you come to save me if you can. I'm terrified of that. I wish you wouldn't come to rescue me because I don't ever want to see you hurt." I blinked a few times and he smiled weakly. "Now tell me why you aren't crying if you really think it's okay."

"Because I believe that everything is going to be okay. And it _will_ be," he told me in a very soothing tone. He held his hand to his mouth and kissed each of my fingers, his lips warm and inviting, lingering on each finger as if they were something precious. When he finished, he pulled me slowly up in a sitting position. "I promise you that." He pressed his lips to my cheek, but I continued to cry. His eyes found their way to my lips and then back up to my eyes.

"Are you going to kiss me?" I asked softly and he raised his eyebrows.

"No," he told me and I felt my heart sink. "Not when you're like this. Crying and depressed. You just need to sleep."

My forehead creased. "No."

"Do you really want me to kiss you right now?" he breathed, his face getting closer to mine.

I nodded. "It'll make things better."

Lupin's lips twitched and then ends of them turned upwards into a small smile. His lips met mine and the kiss was hardly one at all, but it was the best one I had ever shared with him in my opinion. There was absolutely not lust, but simply love. He pulled away slowly and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight. "Are you going to cry again?" he asked me sweetly.

I buried my face in his chest and took in the scent of him. "Can I?" I asked, my voice muffled by his shirt.

He chuckled. "Yes." And so, my tears stained one of his new shirts and he stroked my hair, pausing every so often to kiss the top of my head. He hummed in my ear an unfamiliar tune and I eventually stopped crying, listening to the steady beat of his heart. It was soothing. When I stopped crying, he laid me down in bed, kissed my temple and I fell asleep right away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You've got to forgive her," Lupin said quietly, putting his shoes on. "Sooner or later. She keeps asking me what you're up to and I keep making up excuses. You promised me you would and I know you haven't."

"I will," I replied, sinking lower in my armchair, flipping a page of my book. Lupin took it out of my hands and I protested, jumping to my feet and reaching for the book. He held it up in the air and I crossed my arms. "I will forgive her, but why do I have to apologize to her?"

"Because she's been trying to apologize and you won't listen!" He skimmed through the pages of my book and backed away before I could try to snatch it from his hands. "And you've been avoiding her."

"Give me that! I was reading that!" I stopped and looked him over. "Where are you going?"

"Hogsmeade."

"Why?"

"I'm going with Tonks."

"You bastard!" I shouted.

"I _was_ going to invite you," he said with a smirk, holding out my book. I grabbed it from him. "But you seem to just want to stay here and read, so I suppose I'll just go by myself."

"Oh no," I jumped to the side, slipping my shoes on and Lupin held up my coat, helping me into it. I grinned, pulling a hat on and I grabbed his hand. "You come before reading."

"I'm glad you've got your priorities in check."

Lupin opened the door for me, but I hesitated. "I'm not sure about this… you know I'm still hurt by what happened."

Lupin closed the door and stuffed his hands in his pocket. "Darcy, she didn't do anything wrong. I've already taken the blame. Besides, I didn't want to resort to this, but do you remember what happened when Tonks and I were dating? We kissed, yes, but we did – other things. We made love while I was with Tonks and imagine how Tonks would feel had she found that out."

I bit my lip. I hadn't even thought of that. I was worse than Tonks. Guilt gnawed at my stomach and I looked up at Lupin with wide eyes. "Oh my God… I'm a horrible person."

"Apologize for avoiding her. Apologize for not forgiving her right away. Thank her for apologizing to you and then forgive her. It's that easy."

"O – Okay." Lupin smiled weakly and opened the door again for me and I walked out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hi, Darcy. Hi, Remus."

Tonks stood up and when we both sat down, she sat down awkwardly. Lupin ordered three butterbeers, but I asked for a firewhisky instead. Lupin gave me a suspicious eye and Tonks cleared her throat as our drinks were set down on the table not two minutes later. I looked up at her and breathed in deeply.

"I'm sorry for not talking to you," I told her sincerely and she smiled slightly, sipping at her hot butterbeer. "I meant to, but I just got busy and never really got around to it."

"It's alright," Tonks nodded. I grabbed my firewhisky and drank it all at one time. The drink seared my throat on the way done and I shuddered. Lupin pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow at me. "I just wanted to apologize. I didn't want anything to happen between us. I didn't want our friendship to be ruined, you know? I didn't realize it would be weird. You're my best friend, Darcy."

"You're my best friend, too," I sighed. "And I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I apologize for not talking about it earlier and making things go back to normal between us."

"No, you shouldn't apologize," Tonks started, shaking her head and held her hands on the table before her. "I know what you're going through and I know that I hurt you. I know what it feels like because Remus loved you when he and I were dating. It was stupid of me to kiss him back. I only thought that he would feel something for me. And I'm sorry, Remus, for putting you in this awkward position."

"It's not a big deal."

I looked at Lupin, who drank calmly and coolly. "I know that you two love each other very much," Tonks said. "And I won't ever try to break you two up ever again or do anything that would jeopardize your relationship in any way."

"I trust you," I nodded. "Until you give me a reason not to."

Tonks and I stood up at the same time and wrapped our arms around each other.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You feel better, don't you?" Lupin asked me as we walked up the path to Hogwarts again. Our fingers were laced and he swung our hands back and forth, smirking.

"A little bit, yes," I admitted, smiling at him. "It feels nice knowing that I've got my best friend back."

"Am I your best friend?" he said.

"Of course you are. You know everything about me."

He swiftly placed a soft kiss on my cheek and I blushed as some students trekking down to Hogsmeade or back up to the castle stared at us. "You know what's coming up, don't you?" he cleared his throat and spoke quietly. "Tomorrow night?"

I frowned. "The full moon."

"Yes. And I will be in the Shrieking Shack."

"But you took your potion," I protested. "I made it all up a week ahead of time! You've taken it… haven't you?"

"Yes, I took it," he answered me with a forced smile. "I just don't like you seeing me as a werewolf. I still haven't forgotten what I did to you a few years ago."

My shoulder with the scars twitched and Lupin glanced at it. "The scars don't bother me. How many times do I have to tell you? If we're going to be together for a while, you're going to have to get used to the idea of staying indoors while transforming. You won't hurt me or yourself if you've taken your potion."

"I know, but – come on, Darcy," he sighed loudly. "Just let me transform out there. You shouldn't have to see me like that. It's gross –"

"It's not gross!" I interrupted. "So don't say that again! You know I'm fine with you being a werewolf. Has it ever bothered me?"

"No, thank God." He hesitated. "Has it ever bothered you?"

"The only thing that bothers me is that it hurts you when you transform," I told him shyly. "I don't like seeing you in pain like that."

"But you'll be there the next morning to take care of me, won't you?"

"You know I will."

He pecked my cheek again. "Good. Now, I've been thinking," he said thoughtfully and I looked up at him. He looked awfully tired and as he began talking, I found myself completely zoned out. He shouldn't have been out of bed the day before a full moon. I knew how tired and sore he always was the week leading up to it and I felt bad. In the middle of speaking, I cut across him.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

He gave me a blank look as we stepped into Hogwarts, shedding our hats and scarves and gloves. "Darcy, it's five thirty." He blinked a few times. "Were you listening to anything I said?"

"Well, no," I blushed and he chuckled. "But I mean, you should be resting, not outside when it's this cold. Do you want to go to bed?"

"No, I think I am able to stay up a little longer, love," he replied and I nodded, looking away and blushing. "You didn't hear a single thing I said?"

"No. I was zoned out."

"I'm used to it. You did it in class all the time."

"Did not!" I hit him playfully on the arm.

"Did too!" he grinned.

"How would you know?"

"Because I always watched you in class," he smirked and I laughed, wrapping my arm around his waist. "For some reason, you were always staring at me when you were 'zoned out'."

"How could I focus on lessons when I had such a handsome teacher?"

That time, Lupin's cheeks turned a red and it was my turn to smirk. I smiled all the way back to our quarters because I was truly, honestly happy.

My relationship with Lupin couldn't have been going any better


	21. The Memory

**Hey! Three chapters in two days is pretty good, yeah? Well, I had strep over the weekend and yesterday and today, so I'll probably be in school again tomorrow. I can't talk, but I'll make it work. This chapter I had plenty already planned and typed out, so it was a lot of copy and pasting. Tell me if you see an error! I didn't really take the time to reread this chapter, but anyway, enjoy!**

**THE MEMORY.**

"Here," I said gently, handing Lupin a glass filled with a clear potion. He swirled it around and sniffed it. "It's for your headache."

"Ah," he said graciously and he drank the whole thing in one sip, handing the cup back to me. I felt his forehead with my hand. He was sweating and burning up, the usual symptoms after the full moon. He was lying naked underneath a light sheet and I ran my fingers through his damp hair and smiled down at him. "Thank you."

I smiled at him. "You're welcome."

He stared at me and I sat down beside him. "You're just like your mother. You know that?"

I chuckled. "Snape says I'm like my father."

"He doesn't know you well enough to be comparing you to your parents," Lupin told me with a nod. "You're a little bit of both, but I think you are your mother all over again."

"That's not the only reason why you love me though, right?" I smiled weakly.

"Of course not," he said, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. "I love that you're so good to me."

I grinned wider and touched his cheeks, kissing his lips. We laid there for a while, just in each other arms, my face buried in his chest.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Term resumed a few days later and it amazed me how much I had actually missed teaching classes at Hogwarts. I was glad that everything was starting back up again – the huge feasts, the many people, and the cheerful atmosphere. Slughorn had informed me the day before that I would be teaching the classes the first day back and he greeted me in the classroom with a large hug.

No other classes gave me trouble except for Harry's. Malfoy gave me the most trouble, actually, and after what Harry had told me on the Hogwarts Express going to the Weasleys, I was even more determined to keep an eye on him. I also was determined not to get hurt by him again.

I stood at the front of the class, dressed in my teaching robes, my long, auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. Surprisingly, the class of sixth years quieted down without me having to say anything. When Slughorn taught, most of them continued to talk, thinking he was a pushover.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen," I announced, looking at all of them. "Welcome back! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday –" Harry and I locked eyes, thinking the same thing. "But for now, we must focus on antidotes. Golpalott's Third Law… who can tell me – Hermione? Can you?"

Hermione's hand was in the air before I finished speaking and when she spoke, it was so fast that I had to repeat the law in my head and slow her voice down. "Golpalott's Third Law states that the antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components."

"Good job, Hermione," I grinned. "Ten points to Gryffindor! Now, if this law is true, it appears to be saying that the antidote for a poison created by mixing several poisons together must be made up of more than just a blended antidote; which is to say, an antidote made up of different antidotes for the different poisons mixed together in the blended poison. Does that make sense to everyone?"

Everyone nodded slowly and I smiled and nodded back at them.

"So," I finished. "What I want you to do," I looked down at my papers. "I want each of you to come and take one of these phials from over here on my desk. You are to create an antidote for the poison within it before the end of this class! Good luck and don't forget your protective gloves!"

The class sped up to the front of the room and all of them grabbed a different phial. As Malfoy reached for one available, I snatched it and held it away from him. He sneered at me and I smirked.

"This poison is a little something called Dragon Poison," I told him. "And if touched with bare skin, it will melt the skin just like your potion did to me. Thankfully, I know the antidote to this and you do not. It gets on my skin," I lowered my voice. "I'm fine, it'll just hurt. It gets on _your_ skin, and you will have a gaping hole in your body where the poison touched you. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Yes _what_?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Wow," Harry breathed as he grabbed the last poison up on the front table. "You kind of sounded a bit like Snape there."

I glared at him, but then relaxed. "I just really don't like him," I replied. "There's something going on with Malfoy and I'm going to find out what."

"_We_ are going to find out what."

"Yes, yes," I said. "Go on, Harry. Go brew your antidote."

Halfway through the lesson, everyone's cauldrons were bubbling frantically. The students were tearing through their books, sneaking peaks at each other's antidotes, and looking panicked. Hermione's hair was a mess and she was growing more frustrated by the minute. The whole room smelled like death and even Slughorn got up to inspect some cauldrons. Even Harry looked like he was having trouble.

An hour later, I held up my hand. "Time's up!" I yelled and several students added some last minute ingredients, stirring quickly. Most of them groaned. I walked over to Ron's cauldron first and held my nose. "That's horrid, Ron."

The class laughed and Ron's face was redder than his hair. "I didn't understand the law!" Ron sighed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Then you should have asked me to explain it again!" I grinned. "Go dump it out, Ron." I looked into Harry's cauldron, which had been emptied earlier. "Harry? Where's yours?"

He quickly held up a small, round, stone looking thing in a plastic bag and I laughed, shaking my head.

"A bezoar?" I took it from him. "I suppose this would be an antidote, wouldn't it? This is stone taken from the stomach of a goat," I explained to the class. "It can be used as an antidote for many poisons, although it is extremely rare and does not work on _everything_." I handed it back to Harry. "Cheeky, Harry. Ten points to Gryffindor, but don't think you'll be getting full marks for today. Go put it back."

Hermione scowled. Her antidote was one of the better ones and I smiled reassuringly at her.

Finally, I reached Malfoy's cauldron. The liquid inside was almost solid. It was thick and bubbling and it smelled like burning rubber. I cringed. "That looks like cat sick," I said. Malfoy clenched his fists. "If you were being poisoned, would you really want that shoved down your throat?" A roar of laughter from the class. "The antidote for dragon poison should be a thin, yellowish looking liquid, not like rotten oatmeal. We'll continue antidotes at a later date. Class dismissed."

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That night, Lupin was making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for us around ten at night. He brought them to the sitting area by the fire and set them down on the coffee table when someone knocked at the door.

"Hang on," I told him, standing up and answering the door. No one was there, but I knew better. "Hello, Harry."

Harry tore the Invisibility Cloak off and I let him in. Lupin was already eating a sandwich and I tore mine in half, offering one to Harry. He took it gratefully and ate it like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Lupin watched him carefully. "Does liking peanut butter and jelly run in the family?"

I laughed. "What's going on, Harry?"

He breathed in and glanced at Lupin.

"Do I need to make him leave?" I asked Harry, nodding towards Lupin.

"No, no, he can stay," Harry replied. "I've got a favor to ask you."

"Sure. Anything."

"I had another meeting with Dumbledore today," Harry continued, finishing his sandwich. I put mine back down on the plate and sat up straighter, a little more interested. "And he showed me a memory of Slughorn's, but upon watching it, I found out that Slughorn tampered with it somehow."

"Tampered with his own memory?" I repeated. "Why?"

"Well, I reckon he's ashamed of the truth."

"Okay, what was the memory, exactly?" I said, thinking hard and biting my lower lip.

"It had to do with Slughorn and Voldemort – but when he was Tom Riddle. Slughorn was close to Voldemort, I guess," Harry paused. "And it began with Voldemort saying he'd been in the Restricted Section of the library and he was reading about Dark Magic… and when Voldemort asked about what it was, Slughorn got angry and the memory ended…"

"Well, what was it that Voldemort read about?" Lupin asked and I looked at him.

Harry shrugged. "I – I don't know… the world was kind of… muffled, you know? And if Slughorn tampered with it, that's not how he really acted when Voldemort asked him about whatever he found in the library."

"So what's the favor I have to do for you?" I asked.

"Dumbledore has assigned me the task of getting Slughorn's real memory." Harry hesitated and as he sat in the armchair next to the couch, his leg bounced up and down quickly. "I don't know how to do it, but I was planning on asking him. But the favor I wanted to ask you – it has to do with Snape."

"Snape?" Lupin suddenly said.

"Well, he's the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," Harry told me. "And I think it's obvious that he likes you a bit more than me. So could you possibly try asking if there are things at Hogwarts that he isn't allowed to teach? Dark Magic?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I can try, but asking Snape won't help get Slughorn's true memory."

"But Snape may know what Voldemort was talking about in the memory. And that's better than nothing."

"Okay," I sighed. "I'll ask tomorrow."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

True to my word, after classes the next day, I knocked on Snape's door and let myself in. Snape was standing at his desk, packing up his books for the day. I cleared my throat.

"Can I help you, Miss Potter?"

"Yes, actually," I said slowly and nervously. Snape glanced up at me with a cocked eyebrow and then continued packing his stuff away. I walked up to his desk and sat down on top of one of the students tables in the front row. "I've got a question about teaching."

"Ask away, then," he waved his hand impatiently.

"Are there, perhaps, some kinds of magic that you aren't allowed to teach her at Hogwarts?" I asked. "I mean, you _are_ the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I thought it would be appropriate to ask you."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, Dark Magic," I continued desperately. "When you got this job, did Dumbledore or someone tell you that there were some kinds of magic that you weren't allowed to teach the students? Or even talk about?"

Snape looked up and eyed me carefully. It looked as if he were debating whether to tell me or not what he was thinking. "Yes, there are some kinds of magic that we professors aren't to speak of around the students."

"Like what?" I pressed. "You can tell me, can't you? I'm a professor, not a student…"

"I can't tell you that."

"What? And why not?" I shouted, sighing with frustration.

"Because I know the kinds of trouble you get into," he shrugged calmly. "And I don't need you getting into any more trouble."

"Oh, come on, don't make me beg!"

"Don't."

"Please!"

"No. I'm not to speak of them and I won't just because you're begging."

"Professor!"

"Enough, Darcy!" he clenched his jaw. "Who put you up to this?"

"No one," I said firmly.

"Darcy Potter, _who put you up to this_?"

"I told you! No one put me up to this! I was just curious!"

"Fine," he stated, shoving his books back on the bookshelf behind his desk. "Well, I'm leaving now. Let's go, move along, back to your quarters, Miss Potter." He pushed me out of the room and we went our separate ways.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry and I met up after I got back to my quarters. Lupin was reading in an armchair, trying hard to ignore us. I told Harry what happened with Snape and Harry told me that he had no luck asking Slughorn either, but Slughorn expected something else.

"He knew Dumbledore put me up to it," Harry said. "He knows something is going on. It's going to be hard to get that memory from him."

Harry and I sighed and sat back on the couch.

"Do you have the map?"

"The map?" I asked. Lupin glanced at me over his book, giving me an angry look. "Why? Who do you need to spy on?"

"Malfoy."

Lupin cleared his throat, but Harry and I ignored him. "Malfoy," I repeated and I grinned. "I'll be right back." I ran into my bedroom and rummaged through my trunk, pulling out the Marauders Map. I pulled out my wand. "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_." Writing formed on the parchment and I read it outloud. "What is this? Mr. Moony thinks Darcy Potter should keep her – _Remus_!"

He chuckled and I hit him over the head with the map. When I looked at it again, the words were gone. I regained my composure and opened the map up and laid it across the coffee table in front of me. Harry and I searched for the little dot labeled _Draco Malfoy_, but he was nowhere to be found.

Hundreds of black dots were moving about the corridors and I looked harder. Harry had found Crabbe and Goyle, so we looked for Malfoy some more. Malfoy should have been with Crabbe and Goyle… "He's not here," I said, leaning back and rubbing my eyes.

"Oh, wait! Here! He's in the Slytherin common room!" Harry exclaimed and I shot up, looking at the map to see that Malfoy was indeed by himself in his common room.

Harry and I exchanged disappointed looks. "Well, I'll be keeping an eye on him from now on while you try to get that memory." Harry nodded and I tapped the map. "_Mischief managed._"

Harry shook his head. "Or _un_-managed."


	22. A Future in Healing

**Tad shorter than all the other chapters, but at least there's another update! Yes? As I near the endish of this story, a lot of it is already typed up and ready to go and I've got about three word documents open and I'm just sitting her copying and pasting. Also, I'm sick again today, but I'll DEFINITELY be back in school tomorrow. My creys. Oh, another thing! I read all of your reviews and take them very seriously so when I read that someone likes fluff, I throw some more fluff in my story. They want more Snape? More Snape it is! So I kind of answer all your reviews in my story – if that makes sense… Anyway, enjoy (:**

**A FUTURE IN HEALING.**

"Remus," I muttered tiredly, opening my eyes an inch. The candle was still lit by his side of the bed and he was still sitting up, reading his book. It reminded me a lot of my seventh year at Hogwarts, when we were at the Burrow for Christmas holidays. I touched his stomach under the blankets and drew lazy circles on his skin.

Lupin hummed in response.

"I have to tell you something."

"Tell me then, love," he replied, sounding unusually calm. He didn't look away from his book, but he flipped and page. I dragged my finger up and down, side to side, and in circles on his bare skin. He was warm. I was nervous. I thought about what I had told Tonks a while ago, in the beginning of the school year.

"Harry comes first." I looked up into his eyes. "Before you. Before us. Before myself. Harry _has_ to come first."

"I understand that, Darcy."

"And I think – I think that soon, something will happen and I'll have to protect Harry." I licked my lips and thought hard, still tracing shapes onto Lupin's stomach. "And I – I might have to leave you to be with Harry instead."

"To go where?"

"No, I don't mean leave you like that," I whispered and Lupin's eyes met mine for a brief second. "I mean that we might not be able to be together."

Lupin seemed doubtful that we would have to break up – or that's what it seemed like. He didn't seem worried at all. "We'll cross that bridge when and _if_ that day comes. Okay?"

I nodded and rolled over, biting my lip.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I missed talking to you," I said to Tonks as we walked down the path to the Black Lake.

"Me too," she grinned. "I forgot that I didn't have a lot of friends."

"I could say the same."

"You got plenty of friends, Darcy."

"Not real ones," I sighed. "Not friends like you. A group of sixteen and seventeen years olds can't compare to you."

"I'm flattered," Tonks chuckled. "But I don't even have seventeen year olds to talk to. And you've got Remus and Snape and I've got no one."

"Well, you've got me now."

Tonks and I smiled at each other. "I need to ask you something. It's been bugging me for a while," she stated slowly. "And no matter the answer, I won't be mad at you. It's over and done, but I still want to know. Okay?"

I nodded, unsure of what to expect.

"Did – when I was dating Remus – did he ever cheat on me?" she asked and I raised my eyebrows. "Did you two ever kiss?"

I felt guilt and I picked up a flat rock from the ground and skipped it across the shimmering water, trying to avoid the question. But Tonks wasn't going to let it go. "Why would you ask that, Tonks?" I whispered, my stomach churning.

"I just want to know. I know he loved you, Darcy. I won't be mad."

I nodded slowly.

"I think I knew when I was dating him, I just didn't want to believe it," she said sadly and I looked at her, instantly regretting answering her question. "I knew he loved you and I knew he wanted to be with you. Why didn't he just break up with me earlier?"

"Because Remus is too nice sometimes," I replied quickly. "Too nice for his own good. He wanted you to be happy and he wanted me to be happy, but sometimes he just has to think about himself."

"Darcy, don't think I'm selfish," Tonks pleaded. "I love that you're happy and I'm glad that Remus is happy, but it's only natural that I would want myself to be happy, right? I mean, is that so hard? Is that too much to ask?"

"That's all everybody wants. To be happy," I explained. "And you will be happy."

"I'm happy for some things," continued Tonks. "I'm happy I've got you as a friend and I'm happy that you're happy. I'm happy I've got my family. I'm happy with the job as an Auror I have. But I'm just not _happy_. Do you understand? I don't feel like I'm complete unless I have someone to share it with."

"I understand completely," I told her sincerely. "And if you really want someone, you can have Snape. In fact, you can keep him."

She laughed throatily. I was glad she wasn't offended by my joke. I wanted to lighten the mood and not talk about being happy, because in all honestly, I was very happy, but very confused. "Thanks, but I don't think Snape is a good match for me. He doesn't seem very happy at all, don't you think?"

"Believe it or not, I don't know much about him," I said, partially being honest. "It's him who knows everything about me."

Tonks smiled at me. "Well, as long as you've got me, you won't need to go to Snape. I'll be here if you need someone to listen."

"I might have to take you up on that offer."

"It's what friends are for."

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Two uneventful weeks passed and I was glad. For once, Hogwarts seemed like a normal school. Everything was functional and functioning well, classes were easy and students were doing better in potions, Harry and I didn't really think about spying on Malfoy, and Harry hadn't had another lesson with Dumbledore yet.

Hermione and Ron would go to Apparition lessons and Harry would come to my quarters, drinking hot chocolate and he'd read his potions book. Since Harry's grade in potions wasn't perfect and I hadn't noticed anything bad in the book, I didn't take it away from him. In fact, I wanted Harry to keep it – he had never shown so much interest in a single book before – not even his Quidditch book.

Another full moon had approached. I was coming back from Snape's office that night, carrying lesson plans and quills and ink in my arms. I muttered the password to my quarters and saw that a glass of water had been spilt on the ground a few steps in and the glass was shattered.

I set down all my stuff and cleaned up the shards of glass when I noticed that the glass wasn't a drinking cup, but one of the glasses from my potions set. I pressed my forefinger to the carpet, where the water had soaked, feeling it was still wet. With the liquid on my finger, I brought it to my mouth and tasted it. I swore loudly – it wasn't water that had spilled, it was the Wolfsbane Lupin had to take.

I waited up the whole night, worried for Lupin's safety. I debated going down to the Shrieking Shack and trying to Stun Lupin in his werewolf form, but I knew that he would never forgive me if I got near him while he was dangerous. So I got out my potions ingredients and brewed a healing potion, preparing myself for his return trying to get my mind off him, until the sun rose at about six in the morning.

Lupin walked wearily back into our quarters at around eight. I jumped up to greet him at the door and saw his face had two new scratches on it and upon removing his shirt and patched jacket, his chest and stomach had been covered by a large bandage wrapped around his entire torso.

"I saw Madam Pomfrey before coming here," he rasped. "I just want to rest."

I reached up to touch the scratches on Lupin's face, but he jumped and gently pushed my hand away. I grabbed his hands and pulled him into the bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of the bed. I picked up my cauldron and a rag, bringing them with me to the bed again. I hunched over so I was eye level with Lupin and I brushed his hair out of his face, dipping the rag in the solution and gently touching his face.

I touched his face gently and dabbed. I watched him wince and twitch. His eyes wouldn't meet mine and I remained quiet, my nerves jangling and my heart racing as I finished dabbing the first scratch and the skin sealed right over the open wound.

"I'm a monster."

"Not even close," I said sincerely.

"I could have hurt someone."

"I don't think so."

"What if I had hurt you?"

"I'm not worried about that."

"How can you not think of me as a monster?" Lupin sighed, still not looking into my eyes. I wiped at some dried blood on his lip and then finished his second scratch, watching the skin seal again. "I'm a horrible person."

I pressed my lips to the scratch I had just finished and then got on my knees so I could unravel his bandages. I touched them just barely, not unwrapping them right away. "Everyone has a side they aren't proud of," I said. "And if the side you aren't proud of is one that you have no control over, then I think that's really amazing. You are a good person and I know that you'd never intentionally harm me." I looked up into his eyes. "Can I take them off?"

Lupin nodded and I unwrapped the bandages around his torso. The scratches were a dark red and looked more painful than the ones on his faces had been.

"These might sting a little more than the ones on your face, okay?" I said to him and he nodded slightly. "I'll try not to hurt you too much."

He flinched as I pressed the rag to the first long scratch on his chest and I quickly pulled the rag away. "Sorry, keep going." I dabbed at the scratch until the wound began to heal. I began healing the next one. "Why are you so good to me? Even when you know what I am? Even when you know what I can do to myself and when you know what I've done to you?"

"Because you deserve to have someone take care of you," I said without looking up from my work. "And no matter what you say, I think that you are truly a wonderful person, inside and out."

"You truly think I'm wonderful? Even on the outside with all these scars?"

"Of course I do." He flinched again as I moved to a different scratch. "Scars, scratches, werewolf and all."

"You should become a Healer when you're older."

"I don't think so," I chuckled.

"Why not?"

"Because I only like doing this stuff for you."

When I finished with all of his scratches, I put my rag down in the bin full of potion and ran my fingers gently over each new, fading scar. I pressed my lips to each one on his torso and then the two on his face, finally kissing his lips. Lupin's hand touched my right shoulder and tugged on my shirt so he could see the claw marks that were a very light pink and awfully faded. He brushed his lips against the three scars and rested his forehead against my shoulder. "I'm so sorry," he whispered and I ran my fingers through his hair.

"It's okay, love," I smiled slightly, even though he couldn't see me. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

"You know what I'm sorry for."

"There's still no need to be sorry."

Lupin's eyes were closed and he kept his forehead against my shoulder. "Thank you," he breathed against my skin and I continued combing his hair flat with my fingers.

"You don't have to thank me, you know." We sat like that for a little bit. "Are you alright now? They don't hurt, do they?"

"No."

"Good," I smiled and sighed contently. "Remus, look at me."

He lifted his head and looked me directly in the eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and our cheeks touched. The stubble on his cheek poked me, but I closed my eyes and felt his arms wrap protectively around my waist. "I love you, Darcy."

"I love you, too, Remus."

"Darcy, you have to remember that I'm fifteen years older than you."

I hummed.

"And when we're older, you'll still take care of me?" he asked. My heart fluttered. I smiled at the thought of us together in the future. He wanted to be with me for a long time. "I'll be weak because of my transformations – much weaker than I am at this age. Being a werewolf will not just go away with age. And I don't want that burden placed upon you if you won't be able to handle it when you're older."

"Of course I'll be able to handle it," I replied, kissing his cheek. "I love taking care of you. I want to take care of you for the rest of my life."


	23. The Hospital Wing

**THE HOSPITAL WING.**

February was disappearing and March was coming. Hogsmeade trips were cancelled and I couldn't blame the staff for doing so after what happened to Katie Bell, who had still not returned from St. Mungo's. I thought that everyone was going back to normal, when one morning, around six o'clock on a Saturday, hastened knocking woke me up.

"You get it," Lupin groaned.

"Why me?"

"Because no one ever knocks for me."

When I opened the door, Harry was standing before me, Ron behind him, staring off into space. When Ron saw me, he wrapped his arms around me. "Darcy, you smell _divine_…"

"What's wrong with him?" I asked Harry quietly.

"Love potion," Harry whispered.

"Come on." I ripped Ron off me and spun him around, pushing him out of my quarters and closing the door behind me. "Let's go to Slughorn's room."

Harry grabbed one of Ron's arms, but Ron protested. "Where's Romilda? Harry, you said you were going to introduce us!"

"Yes, Darcy knows her," Harry explained to Ron. "She's going to set you two up on a date."

"_Romilda_?" I hissed at Harry. "The girl that flirted with Remus after that one Quidditch match? Dark hair, dark eyes and incredibly flirty?"

"That's the one," Harry sighed. He lowered his voice, letting Ron go ahead. "The love potion was meant for me in some chocolates, but Ron ate them." I pursed my lips. "Slughorn might be a bit jumpy; we haven't exactly seen eye to eye after I asked him about the memory a while back."

I was quiet as we walked down to Slughorn's room. Harry knocked quietly and Slughorn opened the door a crack, looking the three of us over. He was in his sleeping clothes; Ron and I were in our pajamas as well and Harry had never changed out of his robes.

"We're sorry, sir," Harry said quickly. "We wouldn't bother you unless it was absolutely essential."

Slughorn narrowed his eyes as he looked at Ron. "What's wrong with Wembley?"

"It's Ron, actually," Harry corrected him.

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Very powerful love potion. Could you possibly make an antidote for him? We would take him down to Madam Pomfrey's, but Weasley items aren't allowed here in Hogwarts and I'd rather save all the awkward questions."

"I'd have thought one of you two could have whipped up an antidote for him," Slughorn said, opening his trunk full of ingredients and mixing a few of them together. "An expert like you, Darcy…"

I blinked. "I just thought we'd need a _real_ expert." Ron clung to my waist again and I pushed him off. "Ron, get off! Do you want Romilda seeing you like this?"

"But you are, dear!" Slughorn replied. "You've got the whole class wrapped around your finger. No one wants old Sluggy teaching classes anymore…"

"Romilda?" Ron gasped and flattened his hair. "How do I look?"

"Very handsome," I grumbled.

Slughorn continued to stir in some final ingredients and he handed the drink to Ron. Ron stared at it.

"What's this?" Ron asked.

"Tonic," Slughorn explained and Ron let go of me, taking the glass from Slughorn. "For the nerves."

Ron smiled and drank it all. Suddenly, the dreamy look in his eyes was gone and I raised an eyebrow. His smile disappeared and he looked around the room, horrified. "Are you back to normal?" Harry asked with a huge grin on his face. "Thank you, Professor."

Ron fell onto a long couch and breathed deeply, as if he had run through every corridor of the school. "Don't mention it," Slughorn said, shutting his potions trunk and opening up yet another cabinet. "Needs a pick-me-up, he does. Let's see, I've got butterbeer, wine, and oak matured mead… I intended on giving this as a gift, but I think given the circumstances…"

Slughorn pulled the mead down from the shelf and brought out four glasses, pouring a little into each glass. I thought eight o'clock in the morning seemed a little early to begin drinking, but I took the glass gratefully.

Slughorn held up his glass. "To life!" Harry, Slughorn, and I tapped glasses, but Ron was already drinking his and it hadn't even been a second before I looked at Harry, knowing something was wrong.

Before anyone else drank any mead, Ron had dropped to the floor, his glass shattering and he was jerking about, shaking violently, foaming from the mouth. I dropped to my knees and Harry seemed frozen, thinking about what to do.

"Professor!" Harry yelled, looking around frantically. "Do something! Darcy!"

"What -?" Slughorn was stuttering, staring at Ron.

Ron was turning blue and I looked up at Harry. "Harry, quickly – a bezoar!"

Harry nodded and began rummaging towards Slughorn's potion kit and he opened almost every drawer while I yelled at him to hurry. Finally, after what seemed like too long of a time, Harry rushed back over to me, holding the small bezoar in his hands. "What do I do?" he asked, his hands shaking.

"_Shove it down his throat_!" I shouted and Harry did just that, foam getting all over his hands. Harry made sure that Ron swallowed it and once he did, Ron gasped and his body was still.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fred and George had come to Hogwarts to see how Ron was doing. Ginny, Hermione, Harry and I had to wait until eight o'clock until Madam Pomfrey let us in and Lupin joined us shortly after, the seven of us sitting by Ron's bedside in the hospital wing.

"Good to see you, Darcy," George smiled, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "Shame that it's because of Ron being poisoned, but it's good to see you nonetheless."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"The poison was in the drink?" Fred asked and Harry repeated the story to the twins and Lupin. "And you're sure that Slughorn didn't slip something in the drink while you weren't looking?"

"I doubt it. I was watching him the whole time," I told Fred. "Besides, Slughorn wouldn't poison anyone. What would he want with Ron?"

"If anything, Slughorn would poison Darcy because she's pretty much taken over his job," Hermione added and everyone agreed.

"Maybe that's what he meant to do," George shrugged.

"No, I don't think he slipped anything in the poison," I said again.

"If the poison was already in the bottle, it could have been meant for Slughorn," Ginny said and I found that to be more believable.

"Why Slughorn, though?" asked Lupin.

"Dumbledore reckons Voldemort wants Slughorn on his side," I explained. "He said Slughorn was in hiding before coming here." Harry and I met eyes – could that have something to do with the memory?

"But I thought Harry said Slughorn was going to give it as a gift?" Lupin looked at Harry. "To who?"

No one could provide an answer.

It wasn't much later that Dumbledore rushed into the hospital wing, followed by Slughorn, who was carrying the mead, with McGonagall and Snape bustling in after the two of them. The four professors stood at the foot of Ron's bed, who was still fast asleep. They all watched him for a moment.

"It was quick thinking on your part, Harry," Dumbledore said quietly. "Using a bezoar."

"Well, it was Darcy who –"

"You must be very proud of them both, Horace," Dumbledore finished.

"Hm?" Slughorn seemed distracted. "Oh, yes. Very proud."

"I think we all agree that their actions were heroic," McGonagall said suddenly. "But the question is: why were they necessary?"

"Why indeed?" Dumbledore turned to Slughorn. "This appears to be a gift, Horace. Do you remember who gave you this bottle?" Slughorn shook his head and Dumbledore sniffed the mead. "By the way, this possess remarkable subtle hints of licorice and cherry – when not polluted with poison." He passed it to Snape, who sniffed it.

"Actually, I had intended to give it as a gift myself," Slughorn admitted sadly.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "To whom, I might ask?"

Slughorn paused and looked away. "To you, Headmaster."

The door to the hospital wing suddenly opened and closed and light footsteps got closer. Lavander Brown pushed Slughorn and Snape apart and approached Ron's bed. "Where is he?" she cried. "Where is my Won-Won? Has he been asking for me?" She looked at Ron and then her eyes landed on Hermione, who was seated beside his head. Hermione straightened up a bit. "What's _she_ doing here?"

Hermione stood up. "I might as you the same question."

Lavender stepped forward. "I happen to be his girlfriend!"

Hermione clenched her fists. "I happen to be his –" She hesitated. "Friend."

"Don't make me laugh," Lavender huffed. "You haven't spoken in weeks. I suppose you want to make up with him now that he's suddenly all interesting!" She looked on the verge of tears.

Hermione scoffed. "He's been poisoned, you daft dimbo!" She added, "And for the record, I've always found him interesting!"

Ron began to mumble and everyone looked to him. Lavender nodded shortly. "Ah, see?" she seemed happier as she got closer to Ron. She leaned over onto his bed. "He senses my presence. Don't worry, Won-Won, I'm here! I'm here…"

Ron kept muttering in his sleep and I looked at Lupin with my eyebrows raised. Hermione looked at Lavender, defeated, and she fidgeted. Hermione looked back to Ron as he began to talk louder.

"Er-my-nee," croaked Ron.

Hermione's mouth opened slightly as she stared at Ron. Lavender looked up at Hermione and frowned, standing back up and licking her lips. Crying, she ran back out of the hospital wing. Hermione sat down and took Ron's hands in her's.

Dumbledore watched Lavender run out and turned back to the seven of us crowded around Ron's bed. "Oh to be young," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "And to feel love's keen sting. Well, come away, everybody. Mr. Weasley is well tended."

Everyone stood up and began to file out and I smirked at Hermione. She looked away and blushed. "Oh, shut up."

Lupin and I walked out last and I grinned at him, grabbing his hand. "Won-Won was a cute name," I laughed.

"Don't get any ideas," Lupin said quickly.

"What?" I teased. "I can't come up with a nickname for you?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Oh come on, you're no fun!" I said, pushing him playfully.

"You're lucky it wasn't you who drank that mead," Lupin said suddenly and I raised an eyebrow.

"Where did that come from?" I asked.

"I just – that could have been you instead of Ron."

"Don't start this," I rolled my eyes. "I can fend for myself."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lupin and I joined Hermione for the Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff Quidditch match. Because of Ron still being in the hospital wing, Cormac McLaggen was now the temporary Gryffindor keeper, much to my dismay.

We sat in the student section so we could sit with Hermione and when I looked to see who was going to be the commentator for that game, I noticed a girl with very long, dirty blonde hair. Who in their right mind would let Luna Lovegood commentate and Quidditch match? I shook my head and looked back at the game.

"Ginny's taken the Quaffle," Luna said dreamily. "I do like her, she's very nice…"

"Is that Luna's voice?" Lupin and Hermione asked at the same time and I nodded uncomfortably.

A few minutes later, Cadwallader from Hufflepuff scored after Cormac was distracted. He was shouting at Ginny for dropping the Quaffle and wasn't paying attention to the Quaffle that had passed him.

Luna's voice floated throughout the crowd again. "And Harry Potter's now having an argument with his Keeper… I don't think that'll help him find the Snitch, but maybe it's a clever ruse…"

I sighed and watched as Harry's face turned beet red and he sped off, circling the pitch, looking for the Snitch. Ginny and another Chaser scored and the Gryffindor supporters cheered, including Luna. Cadwallader scored yet again, but Luna didn't seem to notice. She was talking about the shapes of the clouds and anything else not related to Quidditch. McGonagall suddenly took the microphone and barked, "Seventy-forty to Hufflepuff!"

"Is it, already?" Luna sighed.

"Remus! Look!" I pointed down to Cormac just as Luna had appeared to notice, as well.

"Oh, look! The Gryffindor Keeper's got hold of one of the Beater's bats."

Harry turned around on his Firebolt and Cormac looked like he was showing the Gryffindor Beater how to properly hit a Bludger. Harry yelled something I couldn't understand and got nearer to Cormac just as he hit a Bludger and mishit it.

The Bludger zoomed towards Harry at a dangerous speed and hit him right in the head. He went limp and suddenly, we was falling down towards the ground. I pulled my wand out of my pocket and pointed it at him.

"_Aresto Momentum_!" I screamed and as Harry slowed down and hit the ground softly, I rushed out of the stands to the Quidditch field, where a time out was called and Madam Pomfrey was rushing to Harry's side. Madam Hooch was yelling at Cormac and he didn't seem sorry at all. Lupin and Hermione were right behind me and I shook Harry. When he didn't wake up, I turned to Cormac, waited until Madam Hooch was done with him and clenched my fists. "YOU IDIOT!"

Cormac crossed his arms.

"YOU'RE A BLOODY KEEPER! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BLOCKING THE QUAFFLE NOT TEACHING THE BEATERS HOW TO DO THEIR JOB!" I screamed and Dumbledore walked down to the pitch, followed by his fellow professors. "YOU CAN'T EVEN DO YOUR OWN JOB RIGHT! HARRY'S CAPTAIN! HE'LL TELL HIS PLAYERS IF THEIR PLAYING WRONG – NOT YOU!"

"It looks as though Harry Potter's sister, Darcy Potter, is yelling at the Gryffindor Keeper now," Luna's voice echoed throughout my ears, but I ignored the snickering Slytherins and the shouting Gryffindors who were all infuriated with Cormac.

"YOU BETTER MAKE SURE I DON'T HIT A BLUDGER AT _YOUR_ SKULL, CORMAC MCLAGGEN!"

"That's quite enough, Miss Potter," snapped Snape from behind me and he grabbed one of my arms, Lupin grabbing the other. They held me back and tried to drag me away from Cormac, but I was still screaming.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT MY BROTHER? YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, MCLAGGEN!"

Ginny was being restrained by Madam Hooch and as Lupin and Snape dragged me off the field, I heard the whistle being blown and the Quidditch match resumed. How could they continue play after that? My blood was boiling and I walked in silence up to the castle, where Madam Pomfrey had transported Harry via stretcher.

"In case you've forgotten," Snape said when we sat me down in the hospital wing. "Professors can't threaten students like that."

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE?" I bellowed in his face. "THAT BLOODY IDIOT COULD HAVE KILLED HARRY! I HATE HIM! I'LL GIVE HIM DETENTION UNTIL THE END OF THE BLOODY SCHOOL YEAR!"

"Calm down," Lupin said soothingly, rubbing my back. I breathed in deeply and my hands were trembling. "Harry's fine – I've seen worse."

I went to stand up, but Snape pushed me back into my chair. "You let me up right now," I told him as sternly as I could, but he shook his head.

"Where do you think you're going?" Snape asked.

"TO KILL MCLAGGEN!"

"No," Snape said again, firmer than before. "You stay here. Leave the killing to the rest of Gryffindor House when he loses the match."


	24. Family Comes First

**copy and paste, copy and paste...**

**FAMILY COMES FIRST.**

"I swear to God, I'll _kill_ McLaggen," Harry grumbled a few days after the accident.

"I already tried," I sighed. "Unfortunately, Remus and Snape wouldn't let me get my hands around his neck. Although, I heard all the Gryffindors are giving him a rough time about that huge loss."

"Good for them," he ran his fingers through his hair, making the dark locks stick up everywhere. "I bloody hate him. Glad Ron's going be playing Keeper for the next game."

"I hope Luna's doing the commentary again," I chuckled. "She really laid it on McLaggen and the other team. At least she's on your side, Harry."

"Yeah," Harry said darkly. He was quiet as we turned a corner. We were wandering aimlessly among the corridors. "I had another meeting with Dumbledore the other day."

"And?"

"You're not telling Lupin any of this stuff, are you?" asked Harry.

I bit the inside of my cheek. "No, I haven't. But I just don't understand why you can tell Hermione and Ron, but I can't tell Remus. That doesn't seem fair to me."

"I reckon it's because Lupin's in the Order, you know?" Harry shrugged. "And he'd probably tell the whole Order if we're onto something."

"You think he'd do that?"

"Don't you?"

"I guess so…" I looked at Harry. "Anyway, what happened this time with Dumbledore?"

"There were two memories this time," Harry said quietly as we climbed the moving staircase to a higher floor. "The first one, it was a younger Voldemort and he was at this woman's house, collecting a locket."

"What would Voldemort want with a locket?"

"Who knows?"

"Well, anyway, what was the second memory?"

"Voldemort came back to talk to Dumbledore," he said and his voice was very quiet. "But he wasn't like Tom Riddle – he was turning into Voldemort – I could see it. He looked more like he does now. And he told Dumbledore that he went by Voldemort, not by Tom Riddle. But he came back and asked Dumbledore for a job."

"A job? As Headmaster?"

"No, here at Hogwarts."

"What job, then? Quit avoiding it!"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"But Dumbledore didn't give it to him," I thought out loud.

"No, he didn't," Harry said. "And it's because he rejected Voldemort as a teacher that Hogwarts hasn't been able to keep a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for more than a year."

"Wow." I looked at my feet and when I looked up again, I realized that Harry had brought me to the seventh floor, in front of a large wall. I glanced at Harry. "Why are we here?"

"I know where Malfoy's going."

"Harry, what are you – where do you find out these things?" I scoffed. "You've got to tell me them right away! How do you know that Malfoy is really in the Room of Requirement?"

"I set Kreacher and Dobby on him."

"_Harry_!" I hissed. "How could you use Dobby like that!"

"You don't care about Kreacher?"

"Well, I won't lie and say I like them both equally," I hesitated. "But that's wrong! You can't have house elves spy on someone – especially one of the elves not belonging to you!"

"Look, I called Kreacher and Dobby showed up, too!" Harry protested. "Dobby actually _offered_ to do this. He didn't even sleep!"

"Harry!"

"Be quiet, Darcy," he groaned. "You're starting to sound more like Hermione by the minute. Now, shh, I have to concentrate. I need to get in here."

I sat down against the opposite wall, watching Harry walked back and forth in front of the entrance to the Room of Requirement and after half an hour, I was beginning to grow extremely bored. Harry was becoming increasingly frustrated and went up to kick the wall. He screamed out in pain. "Forget it, Harry," I said, standing up. "Malfoy would have made sure that you or anyone else wouldn't have been able to get in."

Harry hesitantly agreed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lupin rolled over in bed and moved closer to me slowly, kissing my neck. I was wide awake, staring at the pitch black ceiling. "You're becoming distant towards me," he sighed, his hot breath tickling my skin. I bit down hard on my lip. "Why?"

"I'm not acting distant towards you," I snapped. He was quiet. "I'm sorry."

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"What's going on?" he asked. "Did something happen with Tonks or Severus? Or Harry?"

"Look," I said, turning towards him. "I wish I could tell you everything, but I can't, and you've got to understand that."

"I just don't understand why you aren't able to tell your own boyfriend," he laughed like I was acting ridiculous.

"I don't understand, either," I murmured.

He rolled away from me again and laid on his back, turning his head to look at me. "I love you, Darcy."

I looked at him. "I love you, too. Don't think I'm trying to be distant from you, because that's the last thing I want to be." I hesitated and looked away. "And remember, Harry comes first. You said you understood that, so prove to me that you do."

"Sure, Harry comes first," he argued. "But can you at least prove to me that I come second? Prove to me that I still matter in all of this."

I breathed in and held my breath. Lupin was giving me one of the saddest looks I had ever seen. "What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to prove that? You know I love you."

"Do you?"

I sat up and looked down at him, on the verge of tears. "I put my dreams on hold for you. The one thing I've wanted to do since I was a little girl – I did that because of you."

"Well, if you want to become an Auror, I'm not stopping you now."

"Don't be like that!" I yelled, my voice shaking. "How could you say that I don't love you? I gave up my dreams for you and that was a hard thing to do. I don't think you realize how much I didn't want to do it and then I thought of having you and it seemed so much better – having you compared to having my dream job. I'd rather have you."

Lupin looked defeated.

"How can you even suggest that?"

"I just – I'm sorry, I just got mad. You're my number one priority and I'm your number two and that hurts a little bit."

"Remus, family comes first," I replied. "It's not like I'm putting Snape before you or Tonks. I'm putting my only family before you and I'm just asking you to respect and understand that. He needs me – he needs more protection than you do."

Lupin rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Darcy, I feel the same way. I don't have anyone else but you," he said with a loud sigh. "Your parents – my best friends – are dead and Sirius is dead and Peter – Peter was never my friend… I need you… I need you to be here for me."

"I am!" I told him desperately. "I'm always here for you when you need me! I heal your wounds and brew your Wolfsbane, I listen to you and comfort you, and I love you! And it breaks my heart to hear that you don't really think that I love you."

"No, Darcy, listen –" He stopped abruptly, apparently thinking what to say next. Instead of speaking, he sat up and touched my hands, pulling me to him. I placed my ear to his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. "Please, don't leave me."

"I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want to leave you, either."

"Then please, just understand that I can't tell you everything even though I want to. I'm not hiding it from you because I don't want you to find out; I'm hiding it from you because I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Says who?"

"Dumbledore," I whispered.

He dropped it right away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh no," I moaned as Harry, Hermione, and Ron showed me the note from Hagrid. Lupin and I were sitting in the courtyard after lunch. "This is _not_ good."

"What's happened?" Lupin asked, raising an eyebrow. He flattened his hair and looked over my shoulder.

"Aragog's dead," I said quietly.

"Oh… you're not thinking of going, are you, Harry? Or any of you three?" Lupin looked at them carefully.

"You'll all get in serious trouble is someone finds out you're down there," I told the three of them. "And why would you want to go down there anyway? That bloody spider told its friends to eat us!"

"That's what I said!" Ron announced, holding out his hand. I high-fived him. "At least _someone_ agrees with me!"

"He'll just have to bury Aragog himself," Hermione shrugged. "Besides, Harry, you can try asking Slughorn about the memory this evening while we're taking our Apparition test."

"Fifty-seventh time lucky, you think?" snapped Harry.

"Lucky…" Ron and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and he spoke first. "You're thinking what I'm thinking, right, Darcy?"

"Liquid Luck!" I said happily.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Hermione threw her hands up and sounded stunned. "Good thinking!"

The bell rang throughout the castle and Lupin and I stood up. Hermione and Ron bid us goodbye, going with the other students to take their Apparition test. Harry stayed behind. "Ready for Potions?" I asked Harry and he nodded reluctantly. We said goodbye to Lupin as he walked up the stairs to our quarters and I walked down to the dungeons with Harry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Potions was a nice relaxing break from everything. Only three people were in class that day – Harry, Malfoy, and Ernie. Harry and I packed up after class and headed back up to my quarters, waiting for Hermione and Ron to return from their tests. Harry held the Felix Felicis in his hands, silently thinking.

I sat on the couch beside Lupin, his arm around me, reading the _Daily Prophet_. "Harry?" I said suddenly and he looked up from his spot on the armchair. He hummed. "I'm coming to Hagrid's with you tonight. I'm coming with you to get this memory."

"No, you don't have to."

"I'm coming with you."

Harry chewed his lip. "Fine."

"I don't need the Liquid Luck. As long as one of us drinks it," I said quietly and Harry nodded.

Hermione and Ron joined up later in the afternoon. Hermione passed, but Ron had just failed, leaving behind an eyebrow. We all got right down to business and Harry held up the small phial with the Liquid Luck. "Are you going to drink it or what?" Ron asked and Harry breathed in deeply, nodding.

"Here it goes." He opened the phial and drank the clear liquid, sticking the stopper back in the phial when he was done.

"How do you feel?" I asked hesitantly.

"Excellent," he said with a grin, getting to his feet. I felt Lupin's hand tighten on my waist as I tried to get up, but he let go reluctantly. "Really excellent. I'm going to Hagrid's."

Lupin got to his feet and grabbed my hand. It was clear he didn't want me to go and I looked at him with a pleading look. He kissed my cheek and let go of my hand. "What? No!" I protested. "We've got to talk to Slughorn!"

"We're going to Hagrid's," Harry said, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door. "I've got a really good feeling about Hagrid's, like it's the place to be tonight."

"Harry, he's burying Aragog tonight!" Hermione reminded him.

"Trust me," Harry told us all. "I know what I'm doing – or, Felix does."

I walked behind Harry, looking suspiciously at him and then looking around to make sure no one was watching us. Amazingly, the front door was open and Harry led the way outside as we began walking down to Hagrid's house.

"Do you want to walk through the vegetable patch?" asked Harry suddenly, stopping at the bottom step.

"I thought we were going to Hagrid's!"

"I'd love to walk through it, though," Harry shrugged, turning towards the vegetable patch. "It's not exactly on the way, but we'll still make it to Hagrid's."

"Harry, are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked cautiously. He nodded with a great big smile and I followed him slowly towards the green houses. As we walked down the vegetable patch path, I was extremely surprised to see Slughorn on a tall ladder, his rear end sticking out of a window. Harry and I looked at each other. Slughorn began stepping down the ladder and when he saw us out of the corner of his eye, he jumped, placing a hand to his heart.

"Merlin's beard, you two! Scared the daylights out of me!" Slughorn gasped. "How did you two get out of the castle?"

"Through the front door," Harry said eagerly and I shrugged at Slughorn, raising my eyebrows. "Well, we'll be on our way now."

"_No_!" I hissed, grabbing Harry's shirt, but before we could get much further.

"What?" Slughorn said. "Where do you two think you're going?"

"Hagrid's," Harry explained. "You see, he's a very dear friend and it's this giant spider – he's had him for years – it died last night and he's devastated. He would like some company while he buries it."

"Well you two, being Potters, can't just be out at this time of night!" Slughorn protested, walking towards us. I looked at Harry, not believing it. Felix really knew what it was doing! "Come on, come on."

As the three of us journeyed to Hagrid's, Aragog's body was outside his hut, dead, but still scary. I jumped a bit at the sight of him. Aragog seemed to have grown bigger. Slughorn seemed amazed. "I'm glad you two came," Hagrid said, wiping his eyes with a huge, table cloth sized handkerchief. He cleared his throat. "Horace."

"Magnificent!" Slughorn exclaimed. "Hagrid, my friend, do you mind if I extract a few drops of acromantula venom? It's extremely rare – although, the last thing I want to be is indelicate…"

"Don't suppose it'll do him any good now…" Hagrid cried.

Slughorn went over to Aragog confidently, taking some drops of venom into a vial and he tucked it back into his cloak, walking over to the three of us. "Shall I say a few words?" Slughorn asked and Hagrid nodded. "Farewell, Aragog…"


	25. Horcruxes

**I really don't like this chapter at all. But I hope you enjoy (:**

**HORCRUXES.**

"Darcy," Harry breathed in my ear. "Refill the bottle."

While the tipsy Hagrid and Slughorn were telling stories, I pointed my wand at the bottle of wine Hagrid had. It refilled instantly and I hid my wand as they glanced at Harry and me. Harry and I sat there for about an hour before the two adults were slurring their sentences and actually looked more than a bit tipsy. I kept looking to Harry, wondering what to do next.

"The good die young," Hagrid muttered. "My dad was no age to go… nor was your mum and dad…" His eyes met mine and then Harry's. Slughorn and Hagrid began to sing an old wizard folk song and Harry and I looked at each other again. After the last line, he sighed, "Terrible…" Hagrid leaned back and began to snore.

"Sorry," Slughorn hiccupped. "Can't carry a tune to save my life."

"He wasn't talking about your singing," Harry said quietly. "He was talking about our mum and dad dying."

"Oh," Slughorn said. "That is terrible… terrible… I don't suppose either of you remember?"

Harry looked to me and I swallowed loudly. "I was still a little child," I said. "My dad died first. Did you know that?"

Slughorn shook his head.

"Voldemort killed my dad and then walked right past him to get to my mum." Slughorn shuddered at the sound of his name, but I ignored it. "He told her to get out of the way, that he only wanted Harry and she and I could survive, but she didn't move."

Slughorn stared at me. "That's awful."

"It is," I whispered. "She didn't move away and I was in Harry's crib, holding him tightly. That's where mum put me. I was so scared. Dad was dead, but she didn't want Harry or me to die too. She pleaded with Voldemort, but he just laughed…"

"Enough!" Slughorn said suddenly and I jumped. "I don't need to hear that… I don't want to…"

"I forgot," I replied. "You liked her, didn't you?"

"Liked her?" Slughorn's eyes were filling with tears. "I don't imagine anyone who met her wouldn't have liked her…"

"But you won't help her son," said Harry. "She gave me and Darcy her life, but you won't give me a memory."

"It isn't a question… If it were to help you, of course…" Slughorn paused. "But no purpose can be served…"

"Dumbledore needs information," Harry continued. "We need information." Harry leaned forward, looking Slughorn directly in the eyes. "I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory."

"You _are_ the Chosen One?" Slughorn asked quietly.

Harry nodded.

"But then… my dear boy… you're asking a great deal… you're asking me, in fact, to aid you in your attempt to destroy –"

"You don't want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?" I asked.

"Of course I do, but –"

"You're scared he'll find out you helped?" I said quietly. I knew exactly how he felt.

Slughorn didn't say anything.

"Be brave like our mother, Professor…" Harry whispered.

"I am not proud…" Slughorn breathed, his voice trembling. "I am ashamed of what – of what that memory shows… I think I may have done great damage that day…"

"You'd cancel out anything you did by giving me the memory," Harry said. "It would be a very brave and noble thing to do."

There was a long, long silence and only Hagrid's heavy breathing and snoring broke it. Slughorn suddenly reached in his pocket very slowly and pulled out his wand; with his other hand, he extracted a vial from his cloak. Touching the tip of his wand to his temple, he withdrew it and a long, silvery wisp came out of his head, attached to the wand. He lowered it into the vial in his wand and corked the bottle. He passed it to me, who passed it to Harry.

"Thank you," Harry said.

Slughorn had tears trickling down his cheeks. He looked directly at me. "You look just like her… Just don't think badly of me once you've seen it…"

Slughorn put his arms on the table, buried his face in them, and fell asleep.

Harry and I grinned at each other and crept out of Hagrid's hut. It was dark out and I pulled out my wand, muttering, "_Lumos_." We looked at the vial of Slughorn's memory. "You did it…" I breathed. "You got the memory."

"_We _got the memory," Harry sounded out of breath. We met eyes and smiled again, hugging each other.

"We've got to hurry back up to the castle," I told him, grabbing his hand. We began to run up the steps to the castle. "Or else Filch will lock the front doors."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We got the memory," I sighed happily, closing the door to my quarters. Lupin looked up at me from the couch and smiled. "We got it."

"That's great," he said, standing up and hugging me. "You okay?"

"I'm just… excited," I replied, hugging him back. "I was nervous, but I don't think Slughorn will remember anything in the morning."

"What happened?"

"He's drunk. Down at Hagrid's."

"You left him there?"

"We couldn't bring him back," I shrugged. "He's too heavy to drag back up the steps to the castle."

"True." He kissed the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

He touched my cheeks with his hands and kissed my lips. His lips trailed down to my neck and I felt my knees go weak. He smiled against my skin and peeled off my shirt, dropping it to the ground. He pulled away and smirked. I grabbed his hands and dragged him to the bedroom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay." Harry and I sat down on my bed and I pointed my wand towards the closed door. "_Muffliato_." I yelled real loud and Lupin didn't yell back, so I figured that the spell was working. "Tell me _everything_."

"A Horcrux. That's what Voldemort asked Slughorn."

I shook my head. "What's a Horcrux?"

Harry's face contorted as he thought for a moment. "It's something or an object you conceal your soul into. So you cannot die. Your physical body can die, but your soul lives on in said object."

"Just one object?"

"It can be as many as you want. In Voldemort's case, it's six."

"Six Horcruxes? What are they?"

"I have no idea," Harry sighed.

"Okay, how do you make a Horcrux?"

"Murder," he said grimly. "And by the time he asked Slughorn about the Horcruxes, he already killed his father and grandparents."

"So," I sighed, looking at Harry seriously. "Even if we try to kill Voldemort, there's no way we'd be able to do it because of his Horcruxes."

"That's exactly what I'm saying and Dumbledore said that if he finds a Horcrux, he'll take me along."

"That's where Dumbledore's been going… he's been going to find Horcruxes? Harry, is that safe?"

"What do you mean 'is it safe'?" Harry snorted. "Is anything we do safe?"

"True," I said quietly. "How do you destroy a Horcrux?"

Harry bit his lip. "I have no idea."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I couldn't sleep that night. Lupin had fallen asleep long before me and I was still wide awake at around two in the morning. Thoughts raced through my head – what was going to happen to me and Lupin? Would I have to leave him? How would I be able to hide the subject of Horcruxes from him? And what was going to happen if Harry and Dumbledore _did_ find a Horcrux? Would they go on to try and find the others?

I rolled over and wrapped my arms around Lupin's waist and he stirred.

"You alright, love?" he said quietly.

I pressed my lips to his neck. "I love you."

"Mhm," he replied. "I love you, too. What's going on?"

"I just really love you."

Lupin opened his eyes all the way and looked at me carefully. He held onto my hands tightly. "Where are you going? What's going on, Darcy?"

"Nothing," I whispered. I maneuvered on top of him and straddled his waist. I kissed him softly. "You won't ever leave me, will you?"

"No. You know I would hate being without you."

"And you'll support me no matter what?" I asked him quietly, kissing his jaw line.

"No matter what," he rasped. "Is something going to happen? Should I be worried?" I kissed his cheek and below his ear. His whole body tensed up and he sucked in a deep breath. "Darcy –"

"What's wrong?" I breathed. I smirked and kissed him again.

"N – nothing," Lupin held my waist and pushed me lightly away and looked very seriously at me. "Don't avoid this, Darcy. What is going on? Tell me what you're thinking."

"But I can't say," I paused. "I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm just so confused."

"About what?"

"About you. And Harry. And us."

"What about us?" Lupin sighed. "I thought we agreed that Harry comes first and I completely understand. Why? Are you having second thoughts?"

"I'm scared that something is going to happen," I bit my lip. "Between us and I'm scared I'm going to lose you."

"Lose me?" Lupin chuckled. "No, no, that won't happen. I'll be behind you one hundred percent no matter what. You have nothing to worry about." He slightly lifted my shirt and his thumbs caressed my bare stomach. I was getting distracted. I couldn't think straight. It was already late…

"How do you know that?"

"I don't." He gave me a reassuring smile. "But I'm sure everything will be okay. And we'll be fine. We're going to be together for a long time."

I smiled weakly. "Forever?"

Lupin chuckled and nodded, kissing my lips. "Forever."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Snape looked up at me while he waved his wand, cleaning up the paper scraps on the floor beside me. "You look distracted."

"A little bit."

He didn't ask why, which I was happy about. How was I supposed to explain my situation to Snape if I couldn't even talk to Lupin about it? I rubbed my eyes and then sighed.

"There's a war going on and I'm here in Hogwarts, doing nothing," I said, mostly to myself than to Snape, but he looked up at me again and raised an eyebrow. "When I could be out fighting."

"That's what the Aurors are for."

"I could be an Auror."

"But this is exactly why we, the Order, didn't want you becoming one in the first place," Snape told me. "We didn't want you out there fighting. They'd put you out there first, making you one of the first to die."

"But I'd be fighting at least. Harry and I aren't doing anything. Without Harry, the Aurors can't do anything. They can kill as many Death Eaters as they want, but they can't hurt Voldemort."

"And where are you in all of this?" Snape asked. "If Harry truly is the _Chosen _One –" he sneered. "Then what are you supposed to do?"

"Protect him!" I replied loudly. "That's what I'm supposed to do. That's what siblings do. I suppose you wouldn't know. How many people have you at least attempted to protect?"

Snape shot me a look I never wanted to see again. "Yes, I suppose I just should have left you with no arm when Draco spilled that potion all over you." He spoke icily. "I think the look would suit you."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," I whispered, looking away. "I didn't mean to say that."

"I'm not going to tell you what to do," Snape retorted. "But if you honestly are thinking about going after The Dark Lord yourself, you will die. You're still a _child_. He will kill you without thinking. If he knows you're out after him, he will track you down and kill you and your brother."

"I know that Harry comes first," I said. "But I love Remus and I really don't want to leave him."

Snape stared at me for a long time as I thought and then, "Staying here with Lupin would be the easy way out," he said in a surprisingly nice tone that I had never heard him speak in before. "And I would be very disappointed to see you take the easy way out."

"So you want me to go out and get myself killed?"

"No, not particularly," Snape continued. "I want you to do what's right and prove to me that your boyfriend doesn't come before your own family."

He stood up quickly as if he regretted saying that and he went to walk past me, out of his room, but as he stood next to me, his left arm flinched. He brought it back to his body and then reached out again and awkwardly patted my shoulder. I tensed up and looked at Snape and he pulled his arm away and walked towards the door. He grabbed onto the handle and there was a horrible scream.

We looked at each other again.

"Did you hear that?" I asked and he nodded. I jumped up and followed him as we ran out of the room. We followed the screams of both boy and girl up the stairs to the outside of the first floor bathroom, water at our feet, and a crying Draco Malfoy inside.


	26. Draco's Softer Side

**Terribly sorry for the long hiatus! But I wrote even more chapters for the next story haha. Enjoy!**

**DRACO'S SOFTER SIDE.**

I stared, horrified, at Draco Malfoy. His torso was cut and bleeding badly, but I had no idea what could have cut him. I got closer and realized, as I peered around the stall, that Malfoy wasn't alone. Besides Moaning Myrtle screaming at the top of her lungs, Harry was standing there, awestruck.

"_Harry_!" I screamed. Snape took a good long look at him. Harry stammered, but couldn't speak. His wand was gripped tightly in his hands and he looked stunned. "Harry, what have you done?"

Snape had gotten down next to Malfoy and I did the same. Snape's wand hovered over Malfoy's abdomen and he spoke very quietly. I tried to hear what he was saying.

"_Vulnera Sanentur_." The blood flow eased. "_Vulnera Sanentur_." The wounds began to seal themselves. "_Vulnera Sanentur_." The wounds had gone.

I stared in amazement at Snape, glancing to Malfoy's body, which was now blood free. Had Harry actually casted a _spell_ to do that much damage? I didn't even know what spell there was that acted like that. Regardless, I was furious.

"Harry!" I cried again and turned to him. "_What have you done_? _What did you do_?" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him frantically. Snape watched quietly.

"I – I didn't –" he gasped. "I didn't know it would –"

"You shouldn't have used a spell you didn't know on a _person_!" I replied, my face red. Even if it was Malfoy, it was disgusting to see the blood that had stained my shoes. "Harry! Are you listening to me? Did you hear me?"

"I think he heard you, Miss Potter," Snape interrupted, getting to his feet. "If you would, please escort Mr. Malfoy to the hospital wing. I'll take care of your brother."

I nodded and Malfoy, still whimpering, did not object when I helped him to his feet. "Come on, walk," I mumbled and he threw his arm around my shoulders and limped out. I rolled my eyes. "Quit being dramatic – your legs don't hurt, do they?"

He kept limping and I held him up, carefully holding his waist, not sure if his wounds still hurt. His breathing was heavy and I frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he snapped. "Bloody brilliant."

I led Malfoy into the hospital wing, explained what happened to Madam Pomfrey and she took him from me, laying him down in an empty bed. "Miss Potter, you'll stay here with him for the night, won't you? I'll be informing his mother later today."

"Oh, no, I can't –"

"Why not?" She pulled up a chair and sat me down beside Malfoy's bed, opening his shirt and examining his abdomen for deep gashes. "Professor Snape has done an excellent job… Someone's got to stay here with him and you're the only here. What else have you got to do?"

"Can't you just get someone else?" I said quickly.

"Like who?" she asked me and I sighed, defeated. I sat down on the chair and Malfoy cried and cried. I felt bad, I really did. I was angry – who was come up with such a spell?

_The Half Blood Prince._

I bit my lip and leaned back in my chair. Was Harry going to do anything about that book now that it actually hurt someone? I watched Malfoy squirm under Madam Pomfrey's touch as she wrapped his stomach and chest in bandages. When she finally left him alone and retired to her office, Malfoy scoffed. "How could you let something happen like this?"

"It wasn't my fault your hurt, Malfoy," I snapped.

"Yes, I forgot you were with Snape. You're his pet."

"I'm not!" I yelled, hoping Madam Pomfrey wouldn't hear me.

"Oh, right, right," Malfoy rolled his eyes. "You're the werewolf's pet. Or, he's your pet, anyway."

"Shut up," I muttered.

"Embarrassed, are we?"

"No, I'm not!" I retorted and Malfoy smirked, seeming satisfied.

"I certainly would be," Malfoy shrugged. "Messing around with a _half-breed_. That's disgusting. At least you're not a Mudblood. Then again, blood traitor isn't much better."

"You know what, Malfoy?" I said as calmly as I could and he raised his eyebrows.

"Enlighten me."

"I think you're a spoiled brat who has to act out here to get people to pay attention to you because your parents don't. Your father is in jail and for the record, I'm quite glad. Your mother is probably worrying so much about staying in Voldemort's inner circle that she has absolutely no time for you." Malfoy flinched at the sound of Voldemort's name. "And just because no one loves _you_, doesn't mean you have to take your anger out on someone who _is_ loved."

Malfoy looked away.

"And to be truthful, I would rather date a half-breed than a Death Eater any day."

"I'm not a Death Eater," Malfoy said rather quickly. I had barely finished my sentence. I narrowed my eyebrows, sensing the worry in his voice. "If that's what you're thinking."

I didn't reply.

"And you're wrong. My parents love me – they just want to see me succeed in life so they're a little hard on me."

"Don't go all soft on me," I snorted. "I don't want to hear about your problems at home. I don't care about you, Malfoy. I don't care that you're a pureblood and I don't care that you've got money. I don't care that you're on Voldemort's side and I don't care that you got hurt. I would be sitting here no matter who got hurt in that bathroom, alright?"

"You're only here because Madam Pomfrey told you to. Don't lie to me, Darcy – and no, I'm not calling you Professor Potter."

"You don't have to," I growled. "I just wish you'd show me some respect."

"I could say the same!" Malfoy snarled and I licked my lips, clenching my fists. I wasn't about to let Malfoy get to me. "Growing my teeth into the size of horse teeth? And remember when you gave me boils all over my body? And the one year when you made my skin turn red and gold? I didn't know how to reverse that spell!"

"I'm not showing you respect until you learn to show me some! You've actually got to _earn_ my respect," I said. "And the things you say about Remus – that's going to get you absolutely no respect."

"Can't he fight for himself?" Malfoy spat. "Do you always defend him? You'd think an old man like that would be experienced and mature enough to fight his own battles."

I opened my mouth and closed it. Then, I spoke. "Shut up, Malfoy. He doesn't like fighting so he just doesn't do it. What you say about him is wrong, so he deserves to be defended."

"He brings it on himself! Showing himself at Hogwarts where there are children! He's dangerous, you know."

"He's not!" I yelled. "I know he's not. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Then what's on your shoulder?"

My hand instantly touched my right shoulder and when Malfoy smirked, I pulled my hand away and pretended it never happened, but I knew he had seen. "Nothing, Malfoy. It was from the Whomping Willow in my seventh year."

"He did that to you."

I hesitated. "Yeah," I whispered. "But he didn't mean it. He takes a potion – I make it for him in the week building up to the full moon and it helps him retain his human mind."

"Fascinating," Malfoy said sarcastically.

"I do love him," I snapped. "Very, very much. He makes me happier than anyone else and I won't take your shit, Malfoy. I can handle you disrespecting me because you've done it for six years now, but don't you dare insult Remus."

Not moments later, the doors to the hospital wing opened. Narcissa Malfoy came striding in, hurrying over to Malfoy's bed. I turned around and when she saw me, she stopped right where she was and gasped dramatically. She wasn't looking directly at me, but Narcissa glanced from me to Malfoy's wrapped abdomen.

"What have you done, you stupid girl?" she asked icily and I stood up.

"I didn't do anything!" I argued.

"Like I'll believe that?" Narcissa spat. "After what you did to my husband?"

"He almost killed me! Surely you haven't forgotten? Or perhaps your husband has killed so many people that you can't keep track anymore!"

"_Enough_!" Snape shouted and I jumped. He looked at me darkly and I hushed up.

"It wasn't Darcy," Malfoy said suddenly and Narcissa scrunched her nose, looking more furious than when she had walked in. "It was her brother. Madam Pomfrey made her stay here, even though I didn't want her to."

"Hmph," she glared at me again and I stood up as the door opened again and Snape walked in and stopped at my side. "She yours, Severus?"

Snape and I looked at each other quickly, not understanding the question. "She is not mine, Narcissa, but yes, she is with me," Snape replied coolly. "And I assure you, she was in no way associated with Draco's injury. She escorted him here to the hospital wing and stayed to make sure he was okay."

Narcissa seemed unsatisfied by his response. "Have you spoken to the Potter boy?"

"Detention until the end of the year," Snape said angrily and then he turned to me. "Miss Potter? Is that fair?"

I hesitated. "Absolutely," I answered truthfully.

"There you have it, Narcissa."

Narcissa leaned over Malfoy and began muttering to him incoherently. Snape grabbed my elbow and began forcing me towards the hospital wing doors. "Let's go, Miss Potter. Back to your quarters."

Snape walked me away from the big wooden doors and towards the staircase. "Why didn't you let me fight back? What her husband did to not only me, but to many others is terrible! You know that, don't you?"

"You need to learn to hold your tongue," he snapped. "Honestly, they tell the Dark Lord about you and you'll be killed –"

"Let them tell him what I said! I don't care!" It was quiet for a moment. "Malfoy's a Death Eater and I know it. Don't deny it, either. I know you know."

"I assure you, he is not."

"Don't you lie to me!" I shouted. "Don't you dare! You know the truth! Why do you have to hide it from me? I don't hide anything from you!"

"Don't expect me to be telling you all my dirty secrets just because you tell me," Snape said. We walked up the moving staircase, still squabbling. The portraits watched carefully with raised eyebrows and wide eyes, completely silent. "I know you don't have many friends, but let's get this straight right now. We are _not_ friends. I'm just the one who has to protect you from all the stupid danger you get in. Understood? You may give and give to me, but don't you expect me to give back to you."

My forehead creased. Snape walked me to my door, said 'goodnight', and left. I walked into my quarters. Lupin was sitting the couch and when he saw me, he stood up quickly.

"What the – Darcy, what happened?" Lupin nearly jumped on me and he looked me up and down. "Why is there blood on your pants? Are you bleeding? Who attacked you?"

"I wasn't attacked," I replied hastily and angrily. "Harry attacked someone with that bloody book of his."

"What?"

"I was in Snape's office and we were about to leave and there was this – this scream and we ran to the bathroom and Malfoy was lying on the ground bleeding from his – his stomach."

"Harry…"

"Harry," I repeated. "And it's all the Half Blood Prince's fault! Who would come up with such a spell? It's horrible what he did! I can't – How could he?"

"I'm sure he didn't know what the spell was made to do. I don't think Harry would ever intentionally harm even Malfoy like that."

"But it was really bad!"

"Darcy…"

"Perhaps I am overreacting a little," I sighed. "Malfoy thinks nasty things about you, you know, but I shot him down and told him you were wrong."

"Good for you. Thank you."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

"Bother me when?" he asked me. "When they call me a werewolf? When they call me a dirty half-breed? Darcy, I've gotten that all my life from lots of different people. I can't correct them. They're right. I am a werewolf and I am a half-breed. It doesn't get to me, so don't let it get to you."

"But I'm your girlfriend. I'm supposed to defend you –"

"I think it's the other way around," he smirked. "I'm supposed to kill anyone who bothers you."

I smiled weakly. "I don't think Malfoy's as bad of a person as everyone says. He's not like his father."

"Darcy, his father nearly killed you."

"I know that. But Malfoy hasn't ever tried to kill anyone," I shrugged and Lupin took my hands. "He's being pressured by his parents and I know I wouldn't know what that's like, but really…"

"You pity Draco Malfoy?"

I thought. "Yes, I think I do."

"Okay, you're obviously overtired. Come on, love, to bed with you."

"Don't you feel bad for him?" I asked as he led me slowly to the bedroom.

"No, I don't! I'll never forgive any of the Malfoys for what Lucius did to you. You could have died, Darcy, don't you understand that?"

"But that was only Lucius. No one else had any part in that."

Lupin shook his head and I frowned. "Whatever you say, love. Whatever you say."


	27. Decisions, Decisions

**guys, i am so sorry. seriously, i am. but now school and work and sat's are getting in my way. not to mention the fact that homecoming is this weekend.. i've actually been going out and having a social life, while keeping harry potter in the mix. so i hope you guys enjoy this chapter – i've got to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some strawberry jam my grandma made! **

**DECISIONS, DECISIONS.**

Since Harry was in detention with Snape until the end of the year, that meant that he couldn't play in the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw Quidditch match that determined who got the Quidditch Cup. I went down with Hermione and Lupin to watch Ron play – if Ron hadn't been there, I probably wouldn't have gone at all. Quidditch was a sport that I'd never really love no matter how good Harry was at it.

Ginny was playing Seeker for Harry and Katie Bell was back and resumed playing her position as Chaser like she had never left. It was a rough game, but I knew that if it had been Slytherin playing, the players might have killed each other.

Gryffindor won 450-150.

The after party took place in the Gryffindor common room and Harry returned a few minutes into it. I greeted him, pushing through the sea of Gryffindors and some other students from Hufflepuff.

I grasped Harry's hand and pulled him over to where Ron, Hermione, and Lupin stood. He leaned in towards my ear and shouted, "Have you seen Ginny?"

"Yes!" I yelled back. "She's over with Neville!"

Harry left us and I turned to Hermione and Ron, who bounced off into the crowd, leaving Lupin and me alone. "Exciting, isn't it?" I asked him and he nodded with a smile.

Lupin suddenly took my shoulders and spun me around, pointing to two figures, one with black hair and one with red… Harry had taken Ginny and kissed her and she seemed to respond eagerly. Part of me wanted to rip her head off, but the other part of me wanted to be happy. I turned back to Lupin so I wouldn't have to look and he grinned. "What's wrong? Can't stand to see your brother kissing someone?"

"Is this what he felt like every time he sees us kissing?"

Lupin nodded and laughed, kissing the top of my head.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Have you been thinking about what's going to happen after this school year?" Lupin asked me a few nights later as we were lying in bed together. I stared up at the ceiling, my heart sinking. I had been thinking about it and I knew what was coming. Did Dumbledore expect me to keep Horcruxes a secret from Lupin forever?

"No, I haven't," I replied quietly.

"Well, it's coming pretty quickly."

"Yes, it is," I said. "Have you been thinking about it?"

"Yes," he answered. "Darcy, I want you to know that I'm getting old. I'm thirty-six years old and I'm not as young as you anymore. I'm getting to the point where I'm running out of options while you, being twenty-one years old and completely healthy, have your whole life ahead of you."

"What are you saying?"

"Well, I want to get married and I want to have a family and I know that you're still young and you're probably not ready for that, but…"

My eyes were wide and I stared at him, monarch butterflies speeding around in my stomach. "But?"

"I know you've got other priorities and dreams, but you've got to understand that I have dreams, too."

"I know you have dreams," I breathed. "But – do you really want to get married?"

"Of course I do."

"To – to me?"

Lupin sighed. "Once you're ready. I don't want to rush you into anything and I feel like I've already rushed you into several things… including our relationship. You've been rushed all your life into growing up and I feel that if we were to marry at the end of this year – it'd just be bad. I wouldn't make you do that so young."

I sat up. "What's so great about getting married, though?" I questioned. "We love each other and we don't need a piece of paper to prove it. Everyone knows that we're in love, Remus, what's the point of making it official?"

"Stop, Darcy," Lupin said, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. "Stop it. I want to get married, okay? It's a bigger dream than you think. I want someone to marry me because I've been told all my life that no one would want me and getting married would prove that someone would want me for the rest of their life."

"But I already _do_ want you for the rest of my life," I whispered, kissing him softly. "And I promise you that when this year ends, this summer, we'll get married."

"That's it?" he seemed surprised asking it. "For me? We're just going to get married this summer? Darcy, are you sure? No, no, it's not happening this summer! We're waiting until you're older!"

"It's not your decision," I protested. "I gave you everything when I was eighteen! You didn't wait until I was older then! What's so different about getting married? Are you scared?"

"You've got enough problems as it is," he snapped. "And I don't want to be just another burden on your shoulders."

I frowned and hesitated. "That's what you think you are to me? A burden?" I sniffed. "Haven't I been doing enough? I'm doing everything I can. What am I doing wrong? I don't want you to think you're a burden to me because you're not."

"I understand that you've got to take care of Harry and you whatnot –"

"You're upset because I'm not paying as much attention to you as I should," I finished for him, fully aware of how he felt. "Look, I'm trying my hardest. I'm still young and I haven't had many relationships and you're the first person I've ever really, truly loved. I really, really love you and it's not that I love Harry _more_… It's just that – Harry is my family and you should know that family comes first. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that. Don't you want Harry to be safe?"

"Yes, but I'd like for you to be safe, as well." He touched my arms and frowned. "You get into some crazy dangerous stuff and sometimes you're a bit stupid about it. You have to know what you're getting yourself into."

"I know precisely what I'm getting myself into," I said, trying to control my anger. I remembered what Snape had said after the incident at the Burrow and I knew that he was right, but I didn't want to hear it. "And I'm perfectly fine. I'll be okay."

Lupin looked terribly conflicted and I ran my fingers through my hair.

"I love you," I told him quietly and I kissed his forehead. I fell back down beside him and smiled weakly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

Thinking about leaving Lupin made me sick to my stomach. I threw my arm around him and pulled him closer to me. Lupin chuckled and I pressed my lips to his neck, kissing him all over until I reached his lips.

"What's going on?" he rasped in between the bruising kisses I gave him. I didn't answer, but he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me back, leaving me gasping for air. I held his hands, lacing our fingers together, pressing his hands against the bed. I shifted my body, straddling his waist, and brushed my lips along his jaw line. Lupin tore his hands from mine and touched either side of my face, keeping me from kissing him. "What the hell is going on, Darcy?"

I stared at him for a moment and thought. What _was_ going on? Why was I rushing our time together? What was I afraid of? I knew what I was afraid of. The war was happening – people were dying every day and I was scared that I was going to lose him or I was going to be the one to die and leave him. I had so many feelings happening at once that I didn't know what was happening at all. "I – I don't know – Remus –" I stuttered and suddenly felt even more confused. "Let's get married now."

"What? Are you kidding me? You're crazy, love," he replied. "Why now?"

"Why not now?"

His face dawned a look of realization. "You're scared that we won't be together that long. Is that why you're rushing things?" I didn't answer and he took my silence as a yes. "Darcy, we've got all the time in the world to get married. You're still young. We've got time."

"But the war and Harry –"

"I'm not worried about us being separated," he told me firmly. "I'm not worried about that at all. I'm scared that if we rush things, we'll feel to pressured and we won't want to be together anymore. You understand?"

"Yes, I do, but –"

"No, no, no, shh!" he laughed, placing a soft kiss on my lips to quiet me. "All our life, we've been rushed. Can't we start to take things slow? I've been thinking an awful lot lately and you've grown up so fast, but it's not fair to you if I force you to grow up even more in such a short period of time."

"Remus, I want to marry –"

"I won't have it," he shushed me again. "I don't think you realize what being married to me would really be like. I don't have a job and you'd have to provide for the two of us. And do you want to start a family? That'd be three of us you'd have to work for and the fact that I'm old… depending on when that family gets started, I might be too old for that.

"I have a disease – an abnormality. I need you to take care of me for a week every month. I need you to brew me that potion and I need you to heal my wounds if I forget. Hell, I need someone to take care of me _all the time_, not just during the full moon."

I honestly hadn't thought about anything he said. I had never thought about being married to Lupin. I had never thought about marriage at all, really, but now that he was mentioning it, it did frighten me a bit.

"You haven't thought about it before and I have. You can't just agree to marry me so soon. Do you think being married to me would be easy? Do you think taking care of me would be easy?" he asked with a shrug.

"I do it here – I take care of you all the time –"

"And you do a damn good job at it," he nodded. "But it wouldn't be like here at Hogwarts. Here you don't have to take care of me because there are other people could do it for me. And we have a roof over our head and food. If we were married, we'd live in our own home and one of us would have to cook all the time because there wouldn't be grand feasts. You'd have to work to keep a roof over our head."

I was silent. I was at a loss for words.

"I've been telling you for years that you need someone young and capable. Someone who can give you everything you want. Someone who can take care of _you_. As you can see, I'm not that kind of person. I can try to take care of you, but I know that I'll never be able to give you everything someone else could. And you know what? It breaks my heart that I can't give you everything you want."

"Like what? What could another man give me that you can't?"

"Do you want children, Darcy? A son or a daughter?" he asked and I shrugged. "I don't know if I'd be able to give you a child. Depending on when you and I want to start a family, I might be too old. I act older because of my lycanthropy and I don't want to risk passing that down to your baby. I would never forgive myself. I would be disgusted for putting yet another burden on your shoulders.

"And I'm sure you'd want a ring? I can't afford one, you know that. I may have some money from different odd jobs, but I could never get you that beautiful diamond ring that you want. And the wedding expenses? A honeymoon?

"And you want a beautiful home, don't you? A big house with a big porch and lots of land? You want a nice kitchen and a lovely sitting room? You want a full library in that house? How do you expect me to pay for that?"

He looked close to tears. He had been telling me this for years and now that I was contemplating it, it made sense. I finally understood why he didn't want to be with me.

"Darcy, if you want to leave me, do it." My body tensed up and I got scared. Why would he say that? I didn't want to leave him! "Don't just sit here and look at me like I'm stupid. Leave if you want, I'm serious. Go take care of Harry. I don't want you staying with me if it's too much for you to handle. I want you to be able to enjoy your youth and you freedom. Darcy, if you leave me, it'll be easier for you. You have other priorities and once this is all over, I'll come find you. Once this is all over, we can be happy. But for now, I think leaving me would be the easiest option and I don't want to leave you, so you've got to break up with me."

"I – I don't want to hurt you…"

"Don't think about me," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Think about you."

He waited patiently for my answer. I took a long time. I was already sure that I wanted to be with him, but it took a while for me to actually say it. In fact, I didn't even say it at all. "Why are you so good to me?"

The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly. "Because I love you."

"But how can you still love me after everything I've done to you?"

"What have you done to me that makes you think I shouldn't love you anymore?" he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tightly. His tone was gentle and soothing and I closed my eyes. "You get angry at me? You fight with me? All couples do that. It can be hectic and that's why I want you to decide what you want to do."

"What do _you_ want me to do?"

"This isn't about my decision, love. It's about yours," he stated. "Now choose."

"You can't make me choose like this," I protested. "It's cruel and you know it."

"Darcy, tell me right now without thinking what you want to do. Stay or leave?"

"I have my mind made up already – it's been made up for a while," I admitted to him. "But first, please tell me what you want me to do."

He whispered, "Stay with me forever."

"Then I will."


	28. The Plan

**Hi guys! I know I've been slow updating, but work is killing me omg my manager gives me a shit ton of hours and I've requested off, but he still puts me on the schedule and I don't even know. But whatever. So I hope you enjoy this! As you can see, this story is coming to a close!**

**THE PLAN.**

"So…" Harry thought for a moment, scratching his chin with this quill. "What's the answer to this? The antidote to –"

"I'm sure the Half Blood Prince can tell you," I snapped. I was hanging over my bed, my head touching the ground. Ron sat on the floor, a chessboard in between us. The light from the full moon lit the carpeted ground and gave Ron and me perfect light to play chess. Five candles were burning in the bedroom, lighting up the rest of the room for Harry to finish their homework. I ordered my queen to take Ron's pawn and he groaned.

"When'd you get so good at this?" he complained.

"I've played a lot with Remus," I replied with a grin as he took my knight. "Anyway Harry, I'm still mad at you for what you've done."

"Doesn't matter," he mumbled. "I don't have the book anymore."

"Did you throw it away? Burn it so no one else can see it?"

"No! I just hid it in a place I'd never find it again," he sighed. "And now my grade is seriously hurting and Hermione's grade is the top in potions again."

Hermione, who had been reading while propped up on my pillows, smiled proudly. "Good for you, Harry," I said to him, calling out 'Checkmate!'. "Although, I think I would have destroyed it. You never know if someone will find it. Your hiding place may be someone else's."

Harry ignored me.

"Why are you on the floor, Ron?" Hermione asked, raising a thin eyebrow and Ron snorted.

"You think I'm going to sit up there?" he cackled. "Who knows what kind of dirty deeds Darcy and Remus have performed on that bed? I'll stick to the floor, thanks."

Hermione scrunched her nose. I protested. "I changed the sheets!" I rolled my eyes.

It was quiet for a few moments. The only sounds were of Ron and I scooping up our broken chess pieces off the board. Soon enough, Harry spoke again. "What are you going to do about him, Darcy?"

"About who?" I asked.

"Remus. What happens when we find a Horcrux?"

"Look," I sighed and I sat up, Ron repairing the pieces with his wand. "Dumbledore made it clear that it's to be you destroying these Horcruxes, right? I don't need to go anywhere with you and Dumbledore. We'll come back next year and everything will be normal. If Remus ever gets wind that you and Dumbledore are leaving Hogwarts together, then I'll make something up. But he won't get suspicious. I'll keep him busy."

Harry scrunched his nose, not amused. "But this is between the four of us. Remus is going to know something is up when all four of us are meeting several nights in a row and talking about what's going on."

"He doesn't need to know!" I yelled.

"Darcy, there's no way around this!" Harry said sharply and I shook my head, looking out the window towards the forest. "Remus _cannot_ know about this! If he knows, then we might as well just give up and have Voldemort kill us because the Order will be out hunting Horcruxes. The Order doesn't know all the stuff we know about Voldemort and his Horcruxes. With Dumbledore around, we'll be safe. I'll be safe."

"No, no, no, don't give me that," I told him. "How many times has Dumbledore been around to protect us? You? What about the Chamber of Secrets? Or with Quirrel? What about when Voldemort returned at the end of the tournament? Dumbledore wasn't even here last year! Voldemort knows that with Dumbledore you're safe, so he knows he'll have to separate us from Dumbledore in order to get to us."

"She's right, you know," Ron added, sitting up on the bed beside Darcy. "Voldemort has a plan and he knows exactly what he's doing."

Hermione nodded. "Everytime you've faced him, Harry, it hasn't come down to skill or power. It's come down to luck. Voldemort is more powerful than all of us; his power is almost as great as Dumbledore's. Maybe we should tell the Order? You'd have more protection."

"No!" Harry hissed. "All four of us can beat Voldemort with a strategy and the first part of said strategy is destroying all his Horcruxes."

I breathed in deeply. "I just don't think Remus would tell –"

"He would," Harry told me a bit calmer. "He cares about your protection and if he knows that we're hunting Horcruxes - with Dumbledore or not – he's going to want to make sure you've got all sorts of protection. That means the Order!"

"So where are you going with this?" I asked.

"Everyone knows where I'm going with this," Harry bit his lip. "And I think you know it, too. If you want to help us destroy these Horcruxes, you can't be with Remus. And I think Dumbledore would agree."

"You can't do this!"

"We have to!" Harry argued. "You know it's for the best!"

"You're making me choose!"

"It should be an easy decision!" Harry retorted. "If Remus really loves you, he'll wait for you. Darcy, we're family…"

I knew I should have just said yes to Harry's idea right away. I knew the right thing to do would be to leave Lupin to help Harry, Hermione, and Ron. But what Harry said really made me think – would Lupin really wait for me? I knew he loved me; he proved it every day. He told me all the time. We loved each other and we were looking to the future now, thinking about marriage and having a family… being together forever… The only problem was I wasn't so sure that he'd wait for me. I wanted to be with him and I wanted to be with him through this because I wanted to make sure that he wouldn't leave me. He promised he wouldn't leave me so I was too afraid to break it off. I wasn't even sure how long it would take to destroy all the Horcruxes.

"It's more difficult to choose than you think," I muttered.

Harry shrugged and nodded slightly. "I understand it's hard, but you've got to do what's right. We're in this together. You and me and Ron and Hermione. If I was to choose between Ginny and you, you know who'd I'd pick, Darcy."

"But you'd feel just as conflicted!" I said.

"Think about it, Harry," Hermione attempted to reason. "She and Remus have been together longer than you and Ginny have been. And you two don't really _love_ each other, do you? If you had to pick, it'd be a bit easier for you!"

"Thank you!" I gasped.

"It's not like I can tell Remus _why_ I'm leaving him!" I continued. "I'd just have to trust that he'd wait for me. It'd be easier if I could just tell him, 'oh yeah, I'll be out destroying Horcruxes with Harry and Dumbledore!'. He'd understand then… He _would_ wait for me…"

"So you doubt the fact that he loves you?" Harry asked. "Darcy, I know he does, but choosing him over me would be the easy way out. Don't you understand? You have to do what's right and help us defeat Voldemort! You _do_ want to defeat him, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" I snapped. "We don't even really know what's going on with the Horcruxes right now. Has Dumbledore even found one?"

Harry was silent. "He thinks so."

Hermione gasped and Ron's eyes widened. "He has?" Ron repeated.

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to go with him tomorrow night," Harry looked right into my eyes. "You've got to decide quickly and make it happen, Darcy. Who knows what's going to happen after this?"

I was silent.

"Darcy, we'll be here for you," Ron told me soothingly. He touched my shoulder. "And I know that we can't give you what Remus does, but we can try. We can love you, too. And it's not like he's going to just stop loving you…"

"He's right," Hermione said.

"When should I tell him?" I asked sadly, lowering my eyes.

"Well," Harry seemed to give this great thought. "We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow night. If it's something we can hide, then you can be with him for as long as you'd like. But –"

He stopped short and I looked at Harry again. "Okay," I rasped.

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"OW!"

I rushed into the bedroom to see Lupin holding his foot and sitting on the bed. He bent over and picked up a small piece of stone and I grinned.

"Ron was here last night, wasn't he?" he grumbled.

"Yeah."

"He missed a piece of his queen." Lupin threw it into the wastebasket and climbed into bed, closing his eyes.

"It's only seven o'clock," I sighed, sitting down beside him on the bed. I ran my fingers through his hair. "Don't you want to at least _try_ to stay up a little longer with me?"

"I'm still sore, love," he replied gently. "We've got all our lives to stay up however long we want. One night won't kill you, will it?"

"I suppose not," I murmured.

"You could just fall asleep with me right now," he suggested.

"I can't."

"Why's that?"

"I have business to discuss with Dumbledore tonight," I told him, clearing my throat.

"About?"

"Oh, just what's going to happen next year… If I'll come back with Snape or Slughorn or whoever," I lied.

"I'd rather you not be Snape's assistant, Darcy," he told me sternly. "You know why."

"Well, it probably won't be Snape. Dumbledore thinks I should stick to potions, but I don't like Slughorn much." I kissed his forehead. After a few minutes, Lupin had fallen sound asleep and I walked back out the sitting room, closing the bedroom door quietly behind me.

I wasn't ready for that night. I wasn't ready to attempt to explain to Lupin why we couldn't be together anymore. I wasn't ready for Harry to put his life on the line simply to help Dumbledore, but I knew that it was all going to be worth it in the long run… if Dumbledore even knew what he was doing. But I convinced myself that he _did_ know what he was doing – he was Dumbledore. Dumbledore knew _everything_.

At around eight thirty, there was a knock on the door and I opened it, putting a finger to my lips as Hermione, Harry, and Ron snuck in the door. "He's asleep," I nodded towards the closed bedroom door and Harry nodded.

"I'm going up to Dumbledore's office at nine," Harry began to explain, getting right down to business. "You have the Marauders' Map, right?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Okay, give that to Ron and Hermione when we leave."

"We?" I asked again.

"You and I are going up to meet Dumbledore in the Astronomy Tower. You can come with us or stay, but Dumbledore guesses that the place we're going is made for two people. He suggests that you stay and wait."

"Why do I have to wait up there?"

Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione and then me again. "Dumbledore wants to make sure that you're there when we come back."

"Do you even know how long it'll be?" I asked him.

Harry shook his head.

"Where will Hermione and Ron be?"

"We'll be in the Gryffindor common room waiting for Harry to return there," Hermione explained. "Harry gave us the small bit of Liquid Luck he still had. In case something happens, we'll still have it. We'll be okay."

"Are you sure about this?" I whispered hesitantly.

"No," Harry admitted softly. "I'm not really sure about any of this, but Dumbledore is. We've just got to trust Dumbledore and we'll be fine. We can't be in anymore danger than we always are, yes?"

"I guess."

Harry nodded and licked his lips. "Go get the map."

I did as he said, being very careful not to wake Lupin. He was snoring slightly and I grabbed the map from the top drawer in my dresser and walked back out. I tapped it with my wand. "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_." The writing appeared on the map and we all looked it over carefully. All of the students were in their common rooms except for a select few in the library and hospital wing, some were in detention, and prefects and the Head Boy and Girl were roaming the hallways. Only three teachers were on hall duty. Ron took it from me and folded it up, tapping it with his wand and muttering, "_Mischief managed_."

"We'll wait up for you. We'll have the map open," Hermione said to us quietly. "Harry, good luck."

The four of us left my room and we went our separate ways. I noticed, as I walked behind Harry, that he had his Invisibility Cloak tucked away in his pocket. "What's the plan? What are you and Dumbledore going to do? You can't Apparate or Disapparate in Hogwarts. You know that."

"I'm going to wear the Invisibility Cloak and Dumbledore will escort me out of Hogwarts, down past Hogsmeade. We'll Disapparate there. I don't know for sure where we're going, though… He wouldn't say exactly."

"And we're going to go -?"

"You'll be up in the Astronomy Tower," Harry kept going on and on, leading me to the Astronomy Tower, where we were to be meeting Dumbledore. "Waiting."

"Just waiting?"

"Just waiting." We walked in silence, avoiding the laughter of Peeves in the corridor and taking a different way up. "Have you thought about what you're going to tell Remus?"

"No. Should I have already left him?" I asked angrily.

"No," Harry answered rather quickly. "I was just wondering. I have been thinking about it and I see – I understand what you must be going through. I mean, I know it's got to be hard for you, especially after he left you for Tonks that one year. I can see where you'd be hesitant, but I assure you, it's for the best… yeah?"

"If you think it's the right thing to do and if Hermione and Ron and Dumbledore agree," I paused. "Then I guess it's the right thing to do. Snape thinks it's a good idea, too…" The last part of my sentence got quieter as I spoke and I knew that Harry heard. He snorted.

"Because we all know that what Snape thinks is right _must_ be right."


	29. Betrayal

**I hope you guys like this chapter. I don't really like it, but it really gives you the chance to see what Darcy is thinking. I know that in the books and whatnot Harry is a character who really thinks a lot and keeps to his thoughts more often than not, but Darcy, I didn't want her to be like that. I wanted her character to be defined more by her actions than her thoughts and that's why I don't really write a lot as to what Darcy is thinking. Got it? Probably not. I'm horrible at explaining things… **

**BETRAYAL.**

Harry and I arrived at the Astronomy Tower a little past nine and my thoughts were focused on Lupin. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I couldn't thinking about what I was going to say, if I was going to say anything at all. When Dumbledore met us, he was staring out at the grounds, oddly silent. He waited a few moments before speaking to us.

"You have the Invisibility Cloak?"

Harry pulled it out of his pocket.

"No one knows of this except for your friends, Harry?"

"Just Hermione and Ron, sir," he said hesitantly.

"Good," Dumbledore turned to face me. "You understand the plan, Darcy? You will wait here for us to return. I'm sure we'll return before the morning. Perhaps before midnight. Is that okay with you, Miss Potter?"

"Yes, sir," I said, not entirely sure of myself. "What if someone finds me up here?"

"I doubt anyone will come up here." Dumbledore seemed sure of himself.

I nodded. Within five minutes, Dumbledore had Harry by his side, underneath the Invisibility Cloak and they swept through the door. The door shut loudly and I sat down, watching down at the grounds. I found Dumbledore walking quickly towards Hogsmeade and when he out of sight, I sighed and laid back, putting my hands behind my head and staring up at the stars.

I felt truly alone at that moment. I was being isolated from Lupin, the one person who loved me unconditionally and the one person who made me beyond doubt happy. It wasn't like Harry didn't make me happy – he did – but he didn't love me the way that Lupin did. When you loved someone and when you were in a relationship, you were supposed to tell each other everything, weren't you? I was genuinely hurt by the fact that I wasn't allowed to tell Lupin what was going on. I trusted him with my life – why couldn't Harry? Why couldn't Dumbledore?

I had no idea who else to turn to. I didn't know who to go to. Who was I supposed to talk to if I couldn't talk to Lupin? I supposed I would have to make friends with Hermione and Ron, but they would never understand me like Lupin.

Then I thought of it. I couldn't tell him everything – but he'd understand. The only other person who knew everything about me. The only other person who would listen to me without putting in their opinions when it wasn't necessary. I jumped to my feet and ran out the door, slamming it behind me. I sprinted down the moving staircases and woke up several portraits on my way down the castle floors.

By the time I reached the bottom floor of Hogwarts, I was panting and out of breath and when I reached the door I was looking for, I leaned on it and caught my breath. I didn't knock; I walked into the familiar room and looked around.

"Professor?" I gasped. "_Professor!_"

"What?" Snape appeared before his desk. He had been hunched over, picking up books that were scattered on the floor. He seemed surprised to see me and I stood in the doorway for a minute or two, grasping at my chest and heaving. "What are you doing here?"

It frightened me a bit to hear the tone he spoke to me in. His voice was dangerous and cold and I paused before taking a step towards him. "I just – I –" What was I even supposed to say to him? I was so used to going to Snape with my problems. I hadn't thought ahead. Was I allowed to tell Snape? He was, after all, Dumbledore's right hand man. Would Dumbledore care? "I – uh…"

"Well? Spit it out!"

"Dumbledore wanted me to tell you that he won't be here for the night," I said quickly, still trying to catch my breath. Snape scrunched his hook nose and narrowed his black eyes at me. "And that's it. I was – that's what he – I had to tell you. That's what Dumbledore wanted you to know."

"When will he be back?" asked Snape.

"I – I don't know. He didn't say. He didn't know."

Snape stepped closer to me and looked down at me, looking strangely conflicted.  
>I shrugged and Snape nodded. "Out. Away with you, Miss Potter."<p>

"But – Professor!"

"Out!"

"_Professor_!"

"For God's sake, Darcy, I'm not your father! _What do you want from me_?"

Those words hurt me more than anything. The way he said them. The way he looked at me when he spoke them. I thought that I had found a friend in Snape, but after hearing that, I felt crushed. I felt that everything I told him before meant nothing. He hadn't _really_ listened. He had just pretended. Just pretended to care because Dumbledore made him do it. It wasn't Snape's choice to protect me – it all came down to Dumbledore.

"Don't you remember who I am sometimes?" Snape hissed in my face. I looked away from him and crossed my arms, retreating back into my shell. "I am not here to father you, Miss Potter. I am not here to look after you and love you and make sure you grow up all right. I'm not here to listen to your complaining and I'm not here to make all your problems go away. Understand? Now tell me what it is you want from me and _be on your way_!"

I had nothing else to say to him. I would have been perfectly content simply sitting in his presence. I just felt safe around Snape, even knowing only a bit of his past with the Death Eaters. There was something about him that made me believe he'd protect me if something bad were to happen. Without Lupin, I was weak. Without Snape, I was weak. I couldn't be weak, though. I had to be strong.

I closed my eyes and took a step back.

"Nevermind, then," I whispered and I looked him in the eyes once more. I turned my back on him, but felt his hand come down on my shoulder and grip it tight. He spun me around to face him and I jumped when his fingers dug into my shoulder. He let go and raised an eyebrow slightly. "I do know who you are. I know that you care for pretty much no one but yourself, but I really thought that you listened to me. I've grown up without a father figure and you gave me advice and listened and that's what fathers are supposed to do right? I know that you'll _never_ replace my father and you'll never be as great as he was – he sacrificed his life for me, you know. For me and my brother. But I just need someone. _Anyone_. And you happened to be that someone and now – now I've got no one. So thank you. Really, thank you."

I backed up and this time, Snape didn't try to stop me. He let me keep walking and he mumbled something incoherent under his breath. I started my trek back up to the Astronomy Tower and arrived a little before eleven. I sat back down, confused, with the spring breeze blowing on me. I tucked my hair behind my ears and stared down at the wooden floor.

Thoughts about Harry now swarmed my brain. What was the Horcrux going to be? Where was it hidden? How was Dumbledore going to destroy it? Did Harry have to destroy it or could it be anyone? And what would happen? Would Voldemort know that a Horcrux was destroyed? It was a piece of his soul – Voldemort would have to know that a part of his soul was being killed.

Then there was the awful thought – the one that lingered in the back of my mind and didn't go away no matter what. If Harry and I did end up dead before all the Horcruxes were destroyed, could others destroy them and then Voldemort? Or did it have to Harry to defeat Voldemort? I wondered what the world would be like with Voldemort as the Supreme Ruler. The Minster for Magic. That thought terrified me, but I knew that as long as Harry and I lived, that wouldn't happen and if it did happen, Harry and I would be dead, so there wouldn't be much to worry about.

However, death terrified me beyond belief. The thought that not only Harry, but that me, Hermione, and Ron were risking their lives because of some guesses that Dumbledore made – how could he be sure? How sure was Dumbledore in the first place? Did Dumbledore know exactly the risks that we were going to be taking? Of course, he'd be a little more open to the possible outcome of death. Dumbledore was old. He lived his life. He wouldn't mind dying a year or two early. Harry and I had our whole lives ahead of us. Was that why Dumbledore was doing this? Did he really care about dying? He wanted us to die instead?

No, I thought. Dumbledore cared about us.

I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. I was ready to wait for Harry and Dumbledore to return. I waited patiently.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was a loud _crack_! that woke me up. Dumbledore and Harry had Apparated right in the Astronomy Tower, right in front of me. I jumped up and saw that Dumbledore blinked for a long time, groaning quietly. Harry was holding him up.

"Darcy!" Harry seemed panicked. "A – a potion – he drank – Go down and get Madam Pomfrey"

"Severus," Dumbledore rasped, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Go get Severus and bring him here, Darcy. Severus."

I nodded tentatively and backed away. Before I could reach the staircase down to the door out of the tower, I heard it open and I froze. I turned back to Dumbledore and he pushed Harry towards me.

"Hide yourself below," he whispered. "Do not be seen or heard. Go!"

I tugged on Harry's hand and did as Dumbledore said. We quietly went down below the floor Dumbledore was standing on and I took the Cloak from Harry's hands and threw it over his head. Harry was silent and I held onto a piece of the Cloak, my breath shaky.

Footsteps ran up towards Dumbledore. I don't know who I expected it to be – I half expected Ron or Hermione, but it was Draco Malfoy, who had his wand pointed at Dumbledore. I held my breath. "Good evening, Draco," Dumbledore said calmly as ever. "What brings you here on this fine, spring evening?"

"Who else is here?" Malfoy responded quickly and sharply. "I heard you talking."

"Oh, I often talk out loud to myself. I find it extraordinarily useful." He paused and I looked up through the holes in the floor. "Have you been whispering to yourself, Draco?" Malfoy was silent, but kept his wand straight. "Draco, you are no assassin."

Malfoy retorted quickly yet again. "How do you know what I am? I've done things that would shock you!"

"What? Like cursing Katie Bell in hoping that in return she'd bear a cursed necklace to me?" asked Dumbledore, his hands behind his back. "Like replacing a bottle of mead with one laced with poison? Forgive me, Draco, I cannot help feeling these actions are so weak that your heart can't really have been in them."

"He trusts me!" Malfoy protested. "I was chosen!"

And then he rolled up his left sleeve. Branded on his forearm was the Dark Mark. I closed my eyes and sighed. Harry and I had been right all along. I felt my hand trembling violently. He was going to kill Dumbledore and it was going to happen right in front of us. Dumbledore only seemed half surprised. "I shall make it easy for you," Dumbledore said, holding up his hands, holding his wand in his right.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Malfoy said and Dumbledore's wand flew from his hand, dropping a few feet away on the ground. I took my wand out of my pocket and pointed it up towards Malfoy's feet. I glanced in the direction of Harry, but couldn't see him under the Cloak.

"Very good, very good," Dumbledore continued.

The door opened again and I held my breath, trying not to breathe loudly.

"You're not alone," Dumbledore said, his eyebrows raised. The door closed. "There are others." Dumbledore took a slight step towards Malfoy, whose arm was shaking almost as badly as mine. He looked to be crying. "How?"

"The Vanishing Cabinet in the room of Requirement," Malfoy answered. I closed my eyes again. That's what he was looking at in Borgin and Burkes. "I've been mending it."

I took a step back, trying to get out of the way of the others who had entered and were going to walk up the stairs any moment to join Malfoy and Dumbledore. My wand was still raised, but I had let go of Harry's cloak and didn't know where he was.

"Let me guess," Dumbledore seemed to be piecing it together, as well. "It has a sister! A twin!"

"In Borgin and Burkes," Malfoy explained. I thought he was stalling. "They form a passage."

"Ingenious!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "Draco, years ago, I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you…"

"I don't want your help!" Draco shouted, his eyes red. "Don't you understand? I have to do this. I _have_ to kill you… or he's going to kill me…"

The footsteps got louder and louder and suddenly, they were right on top of me. Bellatrix grinned, leading Fenir Greyback and two other Death Eaters to Malfoy. "Well," Bellatrix nodded to Dumbledore. "Look what we have here. Well done, Draco."

"Good evening, Bellatrix," Dumbledore said somewhat cheerfully. "I think introductions are in order, don't you?"

"Love to, Albus," she sighed. "But I'm afraid we're on a bit of a tight schedule. _Do it_!"

Malfoy didn't move or speak. "He doesn't have the stomach," Fenir chuckled darkly. "Just like his father." Malfoy frowned. "Let me finish him in my own way."

"_No_!" Bellatrix snapped.

I backed up and felt an arm snake around me and cover my mouth. My first thought was Harry, but the hand was bigger and rough… I whimpered quietly, trying to find Harry, but I had no idea where he was. I looked to my right to see an arm outstretched, holding a wand, with a black sleeve.

_Dumbledore was saved_! "Shh," Snape breathed very, very quietly.

"The Dark Lord was clear the boy is to do it!" Bellatrix said. I lowered my wand. "This is _your_ moment… _do it_… Go on, Draco! _Now_!"

Malfoy didn't speak. Snape's hand retracted from my mouth and he brushed past me, silently moving up the stairs, his wand at his side. "No," he said firmly. He walked over to Malfoy, face to face with Dumbledore. Malfoy jumped and turned to look at Snape, whose face wasn't as cold as it normally was… He had a hard time meeting Dumbledore's eyes.

I stared up at Snape; his black eyes flicked to mine and then Dumbledore's did the same. With wide eyes and a trembling body, I was frozen to the spot. "Severus," Dumbledore pleaded. Snape's eyes moved from mine to Dumbledore's. There was a long pause. "Please."

There was a moment's hesitation and then Snape drew his wand from his pocket and spoke flatly. "_Avada Kedavra_." A jet of green light and Dumbledore fell back – back off the Astronomy Tower.

I covered my mouth and felt tears rush to my eyes. I sobbed into my hand, trying to keep quiet. I bit down on my knuckles and drew blood. I reached around for Harry and he grabbed my arm, trying to calm me down, but it was no use. Snape killed Dumbledore. Dumbledore was dead. That's why Snape was acting so cold towards me for a while. He knew it was coming. He had betrayed my trust. It was too late. Snape was already ushering everyone else of the Astronomy Tower.


	30. Making up Excuses

**MAKING UP EXCUSES.**

My heart hurt. It was heavy and my body wouldn't stop shaking. My extremities were numb. I felt violently sick to my stomach and I fought the urge to throw up and cry. I thought I was going into shock – having a panic attack. I couldn't move. I was frozen to the spot, numb, reliving the scene over and over again. I could see the jet of green light and I could see Dumbledore falling and I could see Snape's black eyes staring into mine. Harry had already gone after Snape; he was already a few floors below.

There had to be an ulterior motive. That was it. I knew there had to be an ulterior motive. Snape hesitated before killing Dumbledore and I knew that meant something. Or was it just because he was scared to kill him?

There were screams and yells coming from below and I suddenly broke into a run, cold sweat already covering my forehead and dampening my hair. Ginny, Neville, Hermione, Ron, and Lupin were fighting off several Death Eaters and I had to duck to avoid the spells being thrown everywhere and bouncing off the castle walls. I couldn't find Harry or Snape in all of the madness. I took a quick look around. Everything was spinning; I was dizzy. I was tired. I couldn't hear. It was like I was drowning…

Someone had grabbed my arm and yanked me around the corner. Lupin pinned me against the wall and shook me slightly. "What the _bloody hell_ is going on?"

"Dumbledore's dead!" I cried and I broke down into tears. Lupin shook his head and shushed me. I wiped my eyes. "Snape killed – Snape killed Dumbledore!"

Lupin let me go and his jaw dropped. "Snape…?"

"Snape!" I repeated. "And I trusted him…"

Lupin let go of me and I closed my eyes for a long time, trying to piece my broken heart back together again. "Go find Harry," he instructed me firmly. "Go find him and bring him back here. We'll fight off these Death Eaters."

I nodded and we reentered the battle again. I didn't get far before Neville came out of nowhere and pushed me towards the window, out of the way of a jet of red light that just barely missed my face. I hit the wall hard and stood back up on my feet. The impact made me feel somewhat better. I glanced out the window. The front doors were opening and Snape was leading the death Eaters away from the castle and towards Hogsmeade. My feet automatically began to carry me down towards the ground floor.

When I reached the bottom of the castle, I headed towards the doors. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the Great Hall. The floor was red; the Gryffindor hourglass was shattered and the crystals littered the floor. The Slytherin hourglass was cracked. Splattered on the wall and marble staircase was blood and I clutched my stomach, feeling the need to throw up again.

The front doors were open slightly and, holding my wand as tight as I could, I stepped out into the warm air and it almost seemed impossible that something so devastating could happen on a day so perfect. I heard more yelling, but it was female; I knew it was Bellatrix. I headed down the familiar pathway towards Hagrid's hut and halfway there, I saw it go up in flames. My heart broke even more.

Harry's voice suddenly filled my ears. It echoed through the night and I froze again. He was yelling Snape's name. I could make out Snape's figure and my brother's and Snape had stopped and sent the other Death Eaters, including Malfoy, away. Snape then turned to face Harry and I darted to the left, trying to get to Snape without him seeing me. My legs were like jelly and I nearly fell.

Harry shot several spells at Snape, each one being deflected, and Harry soon fell to the ground. He didn't get up, but he squirmed and as Snape walked over to him, I crept up behind him and, taking in a deep breath of courage, I stuck my wand hard into the center of his back. Snape didn't flinch or jump.

"Don't move!" I tried to sound authoritative and strong, but I ended up whimpering. Harry stared at me from his spot on the ground and tears were beginning to form in my eyes again. "I mean it! I'll do it! I'll kill you!"

"Kill him, Darcy!" yelled Harry. "He killed Dumbledore – he deserves to die! He betrayed Dumbledore! He betrayed _you_!"

I dug my wand deeper into his back and twisted it, conflicted. Snape spoke slowly and confidently, with so much more power than me. "You won't do it."

"How do you know?" I snapped, prodding him again.

"You don't have the ability to kill anyone."

"You don't know that," I retorted. "I'll kill you! Don't you move!"

"Go on, then," he told me sharply. Harry cried in the background, encouraging me to kill Snape quickly. "Kill me, Darcy."

I shut my eyes tight as the whole scene around me faded and I fell to the ground, unable to move. My wand fell from my hand, landing out of reach. Snape turned around to look at me and he took a few steps closer. Through half opened eyes, I looked up at Snape. He kicked my wand towards me.

"Pick up your wand," he stated shortly. "Don't ever let someone else have the opportunity to take your wand from you."

We stared at each other for a moment and then he stormed off, following the path of the Death Eaters that he had forced them down earlier before.

"_Why didn't you do it_?" Harry screamed, crawling over to me. My heart was pounding in my chest; I expected it to burst out of my ribcage at any second. I half expected Snape to kill me. I was weak and defenseless – he killed Dumbledore at his weakest moment while he wasn't carrying a wand. I closed my eyes. With Harry still yelling at me, I passed out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I think she's waking up!"

"Well don't be loud about it, Ronald! You'll just make her pass out again!"

"I'm just saying…"

"At least try to be considerate… She's probably confused and hurt right now."

"Should I get Harry?"

"Yes. I'll go get Remus once Harry comes in here. Meet me in the Great Hall?"

"Yes."

I blinked. Sunlight was blinding me. Hermione was sitting beside me, staring out of the window. The bed creaked as I shifted and he looked sharply at me. "What happened last night?" I asked groggily. There was a wet washcloth on my forehead and it was nice and cool. I sighed and laid back down again. "I know the major things… What happened after I passed out?"

"Remus ran down after you and carried you here to the hospital wing," Hermione explained. "It's only nine. You've been out for a few hours. That's it."

"A few hours?" I moaned. "Where's Harry?"

"He's out in the hall. Ron went to get him. He hasn't slept all night. He's been by your side all night. But you mustn't get upset when he comes in."

"Why? Is he hurt? Is he mad?"

Hermione bit her lip and shrugged. "He's a bit upset that you let Snape off last night without a scratch. I told him that it would have made you just as bad as Snape if you had killed him, but he won't listen. You mustn't take anything he says to heart. He's hurting, you know."

"I'm hurting, too!" I hissed. I held my head. "Sorry," I muttered. She nodded.

The doors to the hospital wing opened and Harry came in, Ron standing in the doorway. Hermione patted my hand and walked out of the hospital wing, closing the doors behind her. Harry took Hermione's empty seat and was quiet for a few seconds. "You doing okay?" he asked me awkwardly. I nodded. "It was crazy last night."

I nodded once more. It was like all I could do was nod.

"And even though you saw what Snape did, you let him off easy." Harry hesitated and I looked up at the ceiling, not meeting his eyes. "You stood there and watched Snape murder Dumbledore before your eyes and you did nothing."

"I couldn't," I rasped. "I could never hurt Snape. Not after all he's done for me. He was right. I don't have it in me to kill. If I had cast the spell, it wouldn't have killed him, anyway. I wouldn't have meant it."

"Do you know how hard it was to watch one of the people who cared about me most die –"

"Do you know how hard it was to watch one of the people who cared about _me_ most do the killing?" I interrupted him and looked him straight in the eyes. "You sometimes forget that Snape has feelings, too. You like to disregard him as a human. All humans have feelings. Despite what you think, he had a beating heart and I know he cared about me."

"He definitely had an odd way of showing it," argued Harry.

"You think?" I snorted. "And I suppose sending us out on a suicide mission to hunt Horcruxes is a pretty normal way to show feelings towards us?"

"But there's reasoning behind this," he protested. "Good reasoning. He wants to kill Voldemort. Snape just wanted Dumbledore out of the way so Voldemort wouldn't have anyone to fear. He can rise to power now."

"I don't think that's the whole reason that Snape killed him," I said defiantly. "Dumbledore seemed too calm to me. It was like he was expecting it. And did you see Snape's face? He hesitated!"

"Hesitation means nothing," spat Harry. "He's a coward. That's why he hesitated."

"That's not true!" I shouted and Harry frowned.

"You're defending him?" Harry seemed confused. He dropped it immediately and there were a few more moments of silence. "There's a bigger issue right now."

"What's that? What could be bigger than this?"

"Remus."

My heart sank. "Yeah?"

Harry clenched his fists. He was getting upset. "You've got to pick, Darcy. The time has come and you need to make a decision already." He paused and observed my face. "Take the easy way out or stick with us. You can't have both. You have to choose."

"I – I –"

"You said you've been thinking about it! You've got to pick!" he yelled and I jumped, not expecting a sudden outburst from him. "We can't wait any longer! Time is running out! We have our mission and we know what we need to do and we need to get it done as soon as possible! We don't know what Voldemort is up to and the sooner we finish him off, we won't have to worry about it anymore! You _do_ want to finish him off, don't you…?"

"Of course!" I said angrily. "How dare you suggest differently?"

Harry sighed and rubbed his temples. "Look, when this is all over, you can come back and be with Remus forever."

"I know what I've got to do!" I said callously. "I know what's going on, but you don't understand!"

"Remus is on his way down to see you," Harry told me, standing up. "You have to tell him before we leave Hogwarts."

"That doesn't give me much time –"

"It's enough time!" he replied. "You can't keep avoiding this. Beating Voldemort comes before Remus. You should know that."

"I do know that, but we're just kids! You're just a teenager and I'm hardly an adult!" I tried to reason with him. "What are the chances that we succeed? What are the chances that we actually live? I'd say we don't have a great chance."

"We're the only chance that this world has," Harry shrugged. "We've got to try anything. We know that Horcruxes are the only way to defeat Voldemort and we've got to find them."

"But we don't know how to destroy them!"

"Then we'll have to keep them until we find out how!" Harry was becoming angrier by the second. "We'll have to learn! Do you doubt that this'll work?"

"I do!" I nodded. "Voldemort's soul is in those things – whatever they are – and I think he'll know if we have them all! Don't you think he could use you like he did last year? He could look through you to see what we're up to and what we're doing. He'll be able to find us. He'll know where we are and he'll kill us because he'll know what we're up to. You can't shut him out because you never learned – Snape tried to teach you –"

"And look where Snape is now," he said through gritted teeth. "He probably was opening my mind for Voldemort."

"Stop it!" I screamed and Harry fell silent, his green eyes wide. "This is not Snape's fault and I know it. There was something behind this – I think he and Dumbledore planned it –"

"Stop making up excuses," Harry snorted. "You can't defend Snape any longer. You watched what he did. You saw what he said and how he killed Snape. You saw what he did to me. You're just making stuff up. You've got no evidence to back up your 'story'."

"I just know –"

"_You can't just know_!"

Tears rushed to my eyes and Harry realized he had said too much. He backed up and shook his head, running his fingers through his jet black hair, making it stand up straight. He left the room just as Lupin walked in.


	31. The Old Potions Book

**THE OLD POTIONS BOOK.**

Lupin sat down in the same spot that Harry had just been sitting in. We were quiet, thinking of something to say, but neither of us could build up the courage to speak first. Finally, Lupin spoke, his eyes avoiding mine. "Your hand is cut," he observed carefully and he touched my left hand, holding it up to show me the deep gash on the top of my hand. "I don't know how Madam Pomfrey missed this. Let me fix it for you."

"No," I said. "I think I look a little more bad ass with the cut, don't you?" I smirked, but he didn't find it funny at all. I frowned and rolled my eyes. "Please, if you can."

"I can." I pulled out his wand and pressed the tip of it to my hand, muttering a spell under his breath. The gash began to seal painfully and I bit my tongue, holding back a yelp. "What's going on, Darcy?" he asked, letting go of my hand. I didn't answer. "What happened exactly at the Astronomy Tower last night?"

I breathed in sharply and swallowed the lump in my throat. I could tell him everything, couldn't I? "Snape killed Dumbledore, Remus. It's always been Snape." I was beginning to feel lightheaded again. "Malfoy was supposed to do it – he's got the Dark Mark branded on his arm! I told you! That's where the Unbreakable Vow comes into play! I knew it all along and you never listened. It happened. It's real."

"I just don't understand how it could happen…"

"Because Malfoy –" I hesitated. "I don't know. I trusted Snape, Remus. Dumbledore trusted Snape. But he was never on our side; he was always on _their_ side! I should have listened to you – I'm so sorry…"

"Darcy, it doesn't matter – we'll get through this together – you and me. I love you –"

"Now isn't the time for romance!" I snapped and Lupin frowned, giving me a confused look. "Not now, not when Dumbledore's been murdered. Don't you see? I'm heartbroken and sick – don't you understand? I am terrified beyond belief and I just need someone to make sure that not only Harry is safe, but I am, too." I scrunched my nose. That wasn't what I wanted to say at all. I had planned on leaving him, but my brain wouldn't let me say it. I had just rambled and Lupin shook his head, still looking at me like I had a third eye. "That's not what I meant…"

"Then what did you mean?" asked Lupin.

"I don't know."

Lupin nodded. "You're still in shock. Come on, back up to our room with you. Tomorrow is Dumbledore's funeral."

I nodded slowly and held his hands as Lupin pulled me gently up onto my feet. My knees were still wobbly and he walked me all the way up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"It's a fake," Harry shrugged lightly. We stood on top of the Astronomy Tower that night together. It was a clear night; no clouds were out and the thin moon shone brightly down on us. "The Horcrux isn't real." He passed it to me and I held it delicately in my hands. It was a locket – a gold locket with a smooth exterior. I opened it and a small piece of parchment fell into my hands. I opened it and read it aloud.

"To the Dark Lord," I began, looking up at Harry. "I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more. R.A.B." I put the note back into the locket and shut it tightly, handing it back to Harry. "Who's R.A.B.?"

"No idea," he sighed. "But this means that Dumbledore was weakened all for nothing. This might not have happened had we known there wasn't a real Horcrux in that damn cave we went to."

I leaned against the iron bars that kept Harry and me from falling down to our death. "I'm upset that it was Snape, you know," I told him. "I'm frightened and angry, but it's hard to just hate him, you know? Someone that I trusted with my life."

"I understand," Harry whispered, sniffing. "But you know what this means?"

"We're going to hunt these Horcruxes by ourselves." I licked my lips. "We have to find out how to destroy these Horcruxes. How do we know if one is a Horcrux? There's so many flaws with this plan, Harry. Are you as terrified as I am?"

"Definitely." Harry sighed and looked at me. "Do you know who the Half Blood Prince was? Do you know who wrote those spells? Do you know who invented the spell that nearly killed Malfoy?"

I was quiet. I had an idea.

"It was Snape. It was always Snape."

I looked away from Harry and out towards the forest, where just the night before, Snape and his followers had gone running. I ruffled his hair halfheartedly and he didn't say anything. "C'mon, let's go to bed."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lessons ceased suddenly and examinations were postponed. Most parents hurriedly pulled their children from Hogwarts. Many people came for Dumbledore's funeral; a carriage had landed in the courtyard and hundreds of girls poured out of it in powder blue suits, accompanied by their large headmistress. Ministry officials had come to pay their respects, as well as the Minister of Magic.

I was numb when I woke up that day. I tied Lupin's tie for him and put on a black dress for the funeral. I brushed my hair for nearly fifteen minutes. Lupin came up behind me and took my hairbrush from my hands. He placed it on the dresser and sighed, kissing the top of my head. My stomach churned. I felt sick.

"Darcy, no one knew it would happen," he whispered in my ear. I looked at him through the mirror and frowned. "No one expected any of this to happen. No one expected it to be Snape."

I didn't say anything.

"You mustn't be so hard on yourself. I would never have guessed that he would be the one to kill Dumbledore." He kissed my temple again and took my hands, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go."

I held Lupin's hand tightly, slightly afraid of what Harry would say when he saw us together, but I quickly pushed the thought from my mind and soon, my head was clear again. We headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast first and we took our seats. When I sat down, I felt tears well up in my eyes. McGonagall was sitting in Dumbledore's chair and the seat beside me that was usually occupied by Snape was now occupied by the Minster for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour. I picked at my food and sighed, sniffing. He kept looking over at me, but never said a word.

After a silent hour of breakfast, McGonagall rose from her seat and announced that the students were to follow their Heads of Houses out onto the grounds. Slughorn had taken over for Snape and led the Slytherins out first, who were the most talkative out of every House.

Lupin and I followed the students. Ministry officials walked behind us, muttering to themselves, but I held Lupin's hand tightly as if letting go meant death. When we reached where the funeral was taking place, I was amazed and it took my breath away. Hundreds of people had come out; the guests that were staying in Hogsmeade, parents of students, old professors, Ministry officials, old students, even the merpeople were singing in a different language underneath the surface of the Black Lake. Shop owners from Diagon Alley had already been seated and so were the girls dressed in Blue. The ghosts were floating by the lake, all quiet.

Lupin pulled me to two seats near Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. Harry's eyes flicked to our hands, but he said nothing and looked at Ginny. Tears spilled from Hermione's and Ginny's eyes into their laps. I was completely numb. My eyes were dry and I zoned out as the small, plump man began to speak about Dumbledore. I stared at the white tomb that Dumbledore's body was now lying in.

Lupin looked at me and frowned. He pressed his lips to my temple and I closed my eyes and sighed. "I love you," he whispered.

I didn't say it back.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I slowly opened the door to the very familiar dungeon room. I flicked my wand and all the candles lit themselves, lighting up the dark and dismal room. I kept the curtains shut. I very slowly walked over to Snape's desk and sat down in his seat. I missed the smell of brewing potions and the smell of all the ingredients.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled at my auburn locks, trying to calm myself down. I began opening up Snape's desk drawers and they were all empty – almost as if he had been preparing to leave. I needed something to remind me of Snape; of the comfort he had given me that whole year. When I got to the last drawer, I found an old copy of Advanced Potion Making. I picked the book up carefully and it nearly fell apart in my hands. I opened it to the front page, looking for a name.

_James Potter._

There it was – in sloppy, small handwriting was my father's name and I smiled weakly and closed the drawer and the book. I flipped through the pages. Although there weren't as many notes as in the Half Blood Prince's potions book, there were still some notes. Most of the scribbles on the pages were just doodles, some were notes between he and one of his friends, and sometimes he had written 'L.E.' in big lettering inside a heart.

I wondered why Snape had kept it hidden. Snape wasn't even the potions master anymore and I thought that the book should have been in Slughorn's room. Was Snape hiding it because he didn't want me to see it? Or was he keeping it so I would see it eventually?

I remained seated at the front desk and as I looked around the classroom, I broke down into sobs and I buried my face in my hands, trying to slow my crying. I sat there for a few minutes and then the door opened. I heard it creak slowly and I stood up with my dad's old potions book in my hand. I wiped my red, itchy, wet eyes and made to leave, but saw McGonagall standing in the doorway, her hands folded behind her back.

"I was just about to leave," I croaked and she gave me the saddest look I had ever seen her give. Her eyes were wide and dull, her tight mouth in a frown. "Sorry."

I wanted to leave, but I found myself frozen to the spot behind the desk. I put the potions book back down and sat in the chair again, covering my face and sniffling. My eyes were puffy and my cheeks were red and tear stained. McGonagall took a quick glance around the room. She took a slight step forward, as if walking into the room was causing her terrible pain. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

"Professor Dumbledore cared about Harry more than he cared about me," I sighed truthfully, my throat hurting from sobbing so much. "It should be Harry that needs this consoling."

"I wasn't talking about Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall replied and our eyes met. "I meant Professor Snape."

"You're not sorry about what happened," I snapped, but she didn't say anything. "You're glad Snape is gone. You're not sorry for me at all. You're just like everyone else who has been whispering about him, wondering why I miss Snape and wondering why I'm upset about this."

She sighed and pursed her lips together in a very Aunt Petunia like manner. "I understand what he meant to you; I _am_ sorry for you, Miss Potter. I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you love."

"No, you don't," I muttered, standing back up and walked towards the back of the classroom. I tried to avoid her eyes and tried to keep my back turned towards her. "You don't understand and you never will." On a shelf sat a book on the Dark Arts. I flipped through it casually and continued walking around. "Harry is the one everyone should be feeling sorry for." McGonagall didn't speak, but I continued, talking mostly to myself. "And I trusted him. I was foolish to not see it coming. Everyone else knew; everyone else saw right through him. How could I not see it…? How could I have been so blind…?"

Frustrated and angry with not just Snape, but myself as well, I shut my eyes and heard something break. I jumped and opened my eyes to see that I had broken a glass on one of the cabinets full of old Defense Against the Dark Arts books. I sighed and wiped my eyes again, which were starting to water once more. "No one suspected it. Don't blame yourself, Miss Potter."

"It was my fault he got away!" I shouted; more glass shattered and I dry sobbed. "I had him at wand point! I should have killed him!"

"He cared about you, you know," McGonagall told me quietly. "I never would have believed it just by watching the way he interacted with you, but hearin bits of his conversations with Dumbledore… He did care."

"What does it matter anymore?" I licked my lips. "Snape is gone. Dumbledore is gone. He never cared about me. It was all just a show. He was just pretending so I wouldn't suspect something."

"I doubt that."

My stomach clenched and more glass broke. I jumped again. "I'm sorry." Holding my dad's book tightly against my chest, I breathed in deeply and brushed past McGonagall, leaving Snape's classroom in a hurry, with tears filling my eyes.

I slowed down as I climbed the moving staircases because I knew what was coming. Once I entered my quarters, Lupin would want to know everything and I would have to tell him the truth. I wanted to vomit. I couldn't tell him the truth… but I had to… I knew what was right… I wasn't about the take the easy way out.

Snape wouldn't have wanted me to.


	32. Conflictions

**I know this is a short chapter, but it's the last one. But no fear, the next story is already a written a little bit. I think I've got the first ten chapters already written, I just want to throw in a few more things and they'll be ready. I hope you enjoyed this story because it took a while to get through the whole thing. Hopefully the next one will be better because it is the last one, after all (; Anyway, enjoy the last chapter of What is Right and What is Easy!**

**CONFLICTED.**

"Hey you," Lupin smiled at me as best he could as I walked into our quarters, my shoulders slumped and my eyes still red. I held onto the book as tight as I could. "Where have you been?"

"I was with Harry," I lied quietly.

"What do you have there? Not the Half Blood Prince's, yes?"

"No, it's not his," I responded tiredly. "It's getting late – I should go to bed. I don't want to miss the train tomorrow morning."

"It's only nine," Lupin chuckled, but seemed worried. "And you haven't finished packing yet. Are you alright?"

It was a stupid question and I think he realized that just after he had said it. "I'll wake up early tomorrow and finish packing."

"No, I can pack for you if you want," Lupin offered, but I shrugged and shook my head. "I've already packed my trunk up." He paused and we stared at each other. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"What are we going to do over the summer?" he asked timidly. "I don't think I can go three months without seeing you. I was hoping you'd stay with me over the summer break. And I'm sure McGonagall will let us come back to Hogwarts next year to stay."

"McGonagall?"

"Isn't she going to be Headmistress now?"

"Oh… I guess," I shrugged. "You know I can't, though. You know I've got to stay with Harry over the summer. If I leave, we wouldn't be safe."

Lupin looked deep in thought and he sighed and nodded, turning away from me. I walked into the bedroom and opened up my faded trunk, tucking my book safely in a pocket and locking my trunk back up. I took off my dress and pulled on pants and shirt, crawling into bed and wrapping the blankets around me. I closed my eyes, but heard the bedroom door opened and Lupin shut it behind him. He took his pants off and climbed in bed next to me as quietly as possible.

We looked each other in the eye. "I'm not okay."

"I know you're not."

"But you seem fine."

"I'm not fine," he replied soothingly. "But I'm trying to be strong for you."

I breathed in deeply and slowly. "Do you think I'm crazy?" I asked Lupin. "Crazy for trusting Snape? Crazy for believing that there's still some good in him? Do you think I should have killed him?"

Lupin thought for a moment. "I don't think you're crazy for trusting him. I should have been here for you when you needed someone to talk to. I was too jealous sometimes." He hesitated again. "And I don't think you should have killed him. Snape is a murderer and killing him would have made you the same thing."

"But he got away."

"Yes, he did."

"What if he kills me?"

"If he didn't kill you while you were lying defenseless on the ground," Lupin reassured me, taking my hand in his. "Then he won't bother coming after you and killing you while you're prepared and ready for him."

"How are you so sure of this?"

"I just know." It was quiet again and I avoided his eyes.

"You know I love you," I whispered and I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I love you more than anything in the entire world. Do you know that?"

It took him a second to answer. "Yes. And I love you more than anything, too, Darcy."

"And I know that you know that Harry comes first," I continued. "You know that he comes before you. He comes before _me_. You know that?"

"Yes, I do. Where are you going with this?"

"I just want you to know that I love you," I breathed, tears flooding my eyes for the hundredth time that night. I placed a light kiss on his rough cheek. "And you make me happier than any man ever could. It's like you don't even try."

"I try very hard, actually," he chuckled, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. I cuddled up next to him. "What's going on?"

"I just really love you," I said, closing my eyes and letting a tear roll down my cheek. "And you love me, right?"

"Yes."

"How long would you wait for me?"

"Don't start this…"

"Remus… please."

"I'd wait forever for you," he answered gently, kissing the top of my head. "Forever, okay? Now tell me what's going on. You're acting strange. I suppose these are strange times."

"Nothing is wrong. I just need you, okay?"

Lupin had fallen asleep before me, but I couldn't possibly sleep. Not after all that had happened in such a short period of time. It was well into the night, probably three in the morning, and I had been staring up at the ceiling for hours, thinking hard. I had to tell Lupin that we couldn't be together by the time we got home. I just didn't know how to go about it. I had been so close earlier that night – so close, but yet so far away. It was like my brain didn't want me to do it. My heart didn't want me to do it. Even my own stomach felt sick at the thought of leaving Lupin.

Was I supposed to just get up and leave that night? Sleep in Tonks's room? Or a spare? Was I supposed to leave a note on my pillow saying that it wasn't working out between us and I had to leave? That was a horrible idea… that was something I couldn't do. It was cowardly and immature and low. I couldn't go that low, especially for someone I loved so much and who loved me in return.

Was I supposed to wait until morning? Was I supposed to make his entire day by breaking up with him? And when – if – I did say it to his face, was I supposed to lie or tell the truth? _Sorry, but Harry and I are going to go hunt Horcruxes, so it isn't going to work out! By the way, it's completely safe – it was all Dumbledore's idea_! _But if I do end up dead, I love you!_ I cringed. It was a suicide mission. There was no doubt about it. I was ninety nine percent sure I was going to end up dead. How were four kids supposed to find Horcruxes when we hardly had any information on the subject?

Dumbledore wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to teach us. To help us. Or was this his plan? The ulterior motive? Did Dumbledore want Snape to kill him so Harry and I would have to go hunting Horcruxes? It was a stupid idea, I admit it, but so many things were whirring through my brain that I could hardly stop and think of a rational and reasonable excuse.

Lupin's arm was still wrapped tight around my waist, holding me against his body. What would happen if I stayed with Lupin, but just refused to tell him everything? _That_ was irrational. That was stupid. I promised Harry that he came first, but now that everything was becoming real, I wasn't sure that I could hold onto that promise. In my heart and in my mind, I knew that Harry came first, but it was harder letting go of Lupin than I thought it would be. I had become attached to him. I fed off his soothing, reassuring words and the kisses and hugs he gave me. To say I needed him was the complete truth.

I don't think Harry quite understood what exactly I was going to be giving up to be going with him hunting Horcruxes. I was going to give up Lupin – essentially, my happiness – and Harry wouldn't listen to me. I pleaded with him, I begged. I was scared to be on my own, but more scared that Lupin wouldn't be mine. I was scared that Lupin would get tired of being alone and go to someone else. I was scared that he was going to leave me for Tonks and that was the most horrifying thought because I nearly expected it.

I shook Lupin awake. "Remus?"

He groaned. "What?" he asked, still half asleep. "You okay?"

I looked him over. His eyes were closed, his face unshaved, his hair a mess. I wanted to touch every inch of his body. I wanted to memorize exactly how it felt against mine. I wanted to memorize the feel of his lips on my skin and I wanted to hold him against my body for the entire night. "No, I'm not okay."

His eyes opened slightly. I wanted to know the exact shade of blue that his eyes were. I counted the long scars running across his face. Three long ones. "Darcy, what's wrong? What's going on, love?"

"I – I – um…"

Lupin smiled weakly. "Come on, go back to sleep."

"I haven't been sleeping."

"Good God, do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked. "At least you'll be able to sleep on the train ride home."

"No, listen to me."

"I am. I always do."

I couldn't speak. My tongue wouldn't move.

"Spit it out, Darcy. Don't be shy. I'm listening to you."

"I – I can't – um – oh…"

"You can tell me anything. You know that. I love you."

I blurted it out. I didn't mean for it to come out so fast. I didn't mean to say it so bland and I didn't mean for it to sound emotionless. I clapped my hand to my mouth after I said it: "We can't be together anymore."


End file.
